Is The Grass Greener on the Other Side?

The best way to describe life at times is a spirit of discontentment that comes against us it can be in marriage or with life in general. At times I appreciate the beautiful flowers and the beautiful sunshine and the birds and the bees...LOL

I can go into a clothing store and try on clothes and everything looks great on me and then other times I try on outfits and I hate my clothes, I hate what I look like and I hate my life....

When Paul said he had learned to be content in everything that means it has nothing to do with our circumstances, it has to do with our attitude towards those circumstances. Chuck Swindoll said it's 90% attitude and 10% what happens to us.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philip 4:11-13

I was reading a recent Christian article that a problem with the church is that they teach men that they are to be a nice guy (boring).

I am not a nice woman at times. I was watching the movie, "Raising Helen" where she found out her niece stole her credit card and got a hotel room on prom night with her boyfriend. Her sister and her busted into that hotel room and all but dragged their niece from there. Their niece had lost her parents.

I was not on the popular list at times when I had teenagers. Same way with my husband, I was not very popular with my husband at times. It's when he would fail to be spiritual leader of the house and follow his carnal reasoning.

I don't see where Jesus was a nice man when he tipped over the money changer tables when they were over charging people in the temple to buy animals for sacrifice. He said that they had made a house of prayer into a den of thieves.

Towards around year 13 of my marriage, I started feeling taken for granted or boredom in marriage (on both of our parts) so I was working on improving our love life and that worked very well. It was a greater excitement to recharge our marriage. My husband was a willing participant of improving our love life and he always liked to go shopping for lingerie at the stores with me.

What I could not improve was my husband's self esteem, he continually beat himself up all the time about his job and what his kids were doing wrong.

I find that same problem with many men that I meet they beat themselves down (oppose themselves 2 Tim 2:25). It's people who don't love themselves. All I can suggest is to focus on being the best we can be for the Lord, spirit, soul and body.

We are studying the book, "Search for Significance" at my church and I agree its not about finding our approval through others, but I will cover another area that we find approval.

After a divorce, I realized that I was definitely not going to find my approval rating with children because my children would not agree 100% with the way I raised them, and I was not going to find my approval with a husband because he was not going to agree 100% with my beliefs and how to run a household, especially when it came to each other's children (step children).

Maybe couples who have kids together don't have that problem, but with a blended family each has his own views on how to raise his/her own children. Most parents don't want us to tell them how to raise their kids.

So what I did was put my time and energy into a sandcastle which was my career, than when my husband died, I realized I was overbalanced. I was letting a career drive me rather than I drive my career. It's like the whole sandcastle I built was no longer important. I did the same thing in the past with a full-time ministry to God.

My family has become more important than my job. I was serving mammon too much supporting my family rather than be driven by a higher calling. Which is God's purpose and calling in my life and that is my fellowship and relationship with him (vertical) and then keeping my horizontal relationships as much as possible in peace with others.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—  for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.  This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 1:1-4