When the middle manager and I got our jobs riffed at Methodist Hospital, we had top priority to be reassigned as far as first pick on the jobs available. Death and divorce is like being riffed. When I go on an interview for a job, it’s not wise to tell the garbage about my current or ex-manager, in fact, I would think that it’s a lot better to say positive things about our manager if we want favor with the next manager.
Some people would lead us to believe that widows are not successful in moving on because they speak favorably about their spouse. That is not true, most of the men I have dated see that is an attractive feature that I had a good relationship. I’ve only run into a conflict with a few men who had a poor self-esteem. In fact, when I’m interviewing a candidate for a position at my jobs, and all they do is knock their last manager, I would be tempted to think if there is something that they don’t like about our place of employment, they will be knocking us too.
I found that many of the jobs that were open at that time (those left) it was because the managers were harsh. Same way with a potential marriage partner. Is this person difficult to live with? Was he harsh/critical on his wife and ran her off? Did he have fits of anger with his former wife? I’ve seen jobs pop up at work, and in the newspaper over and over and I’ve seen single people back on the market from dating in a serious relationship three months, six months, and one year again.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Col. 3:19
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Ephesians 4:31
Some of us are “professional” daters. I feel that
way in college too as far as switching my major from computer programming to
computer graphics is I have enough credits to have a master’s degree. So maybe
one day soon, I’ll get a real job in my career. It’s like with dating, I’ll get
a real relationship again.
I screened and dated 30 men through a single’s ad to meet my husband and I’m up to screening/dating at least 30 men now. To me it’s like bearing fruit as I am wanting a good quality Christian man. What that was at age 35 years old was marrying a young Christian. I met a single never married woman three years ago, and she told me she dated 30 men also to find her husband and she is married now.
God showed me I’ve been in this bubble for 15 years and not really “in touch” with the rest of the world out there as far as having a good relationship. Even my lifestyle as a Christian is not even close to a majority of the world and definitely not a third world country!
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. Luke 1:51-53
It took four months for my husband to propose to me. I would not date someone more than two years without a proposal unless I was a college student working on a degree. I read the book “Call It Love or Call it Quits” by Charlie Hedges. It talked about the four stages of dating which are scoping (I meet many singles that never leave this stage), hoping (hoping they are the one), coping (coping with each other’s differences) and roping (making a commitment). Many people break up in the coping stage.
It’s those annoyances or idiosyncrasies about your special loved one that drive you nuts. I always thought my husband’s OCD behaviors were rather cute. He would come over and straighten up all my CDs and make sure they were in their CD holders. I can see the look of stress on his face when I had no idea where the sleave jacket was for the CD. He was meticulous when it came to CDs had to be in a case with their sleeve’s. He also did all his own laundry too since his socks had to be together. I just considered it lucky if I could even get to the laundry machine with six children at home and I made all our children do their own laundry.
I gave the book to Mike when we were dating and then he sent me a dozen roses and said, “Here is to Roping.” One of my guy friends wants to add the stage “Poking.” Sorry guys that was not on the list in the book. LOL
Some managers are micro-managers, and dating men it can be like the song by The Police, “I’ll Be Watching You.” I just never liked it when attorneys would dictate to me on the computer while watching me type! When my husband told me he wanted to play Texas Holdem poker with his work friends, I did not go “check up” on him because he never gave me a reason not to trust him.
I don’t mind a man who likes to plan. Hey guy, you can map out our whole life ahead of time if you want, but then there is a deceitfulness when it comes to a man who has control issues. It’s a cruel manipulation and game playing to get his own way. It can be through withdrawal affection, the silent treatment, withholding sex or financial blessings. I do my part in marriage whether a man does his part and trust God. Eventually, I am trusting God to turn it around, if it doesn’t get turned around than most likely the marriage will heads toward the iceberg called divorce. Manipulation just does not work in marriage. (Give the devil no place or foothold Ephesians 4:27)
Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control 1 Cor. 7:5
God does not play manipulation games. If we have blessings withheld from us - -it’s not God that does the withholding. I do a “checkup” in life like going to the doctor to see what is the problem and usually the problem is with me.
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:3
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Psalm 84:11
My current job position was one of the best openings as far as a newly created position where I could take the job and do things my way. It was an opportunity to be creative and take on more responsibility as I got better understanding of the job. I have been reassigned twice to different responsibilities and a different manager as the other ones left in 12 years.
It is taking a job that is a joy and that is how a marriage partner can be where it’s finding our fullest potential with a mate. So like a job can increase our productivity, it’s finding a person that brings the best out of us. In marriage there are times that our way may conflict with a mate’s way and it says, “Love seeks not its own way. 1 Cor. 13:5” There were times I did things to please my mate to please him, and vice versa. It’s a two way street when it comes to pleasing each other.
The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 1 Cor. 7:4
Same way on a job as far as there may be some things my manager wants me to do, and I may not agree about what he wants, but as an employee, it’s about making and keeping my manager happy to get the job done. I’m very thankful that most decisions my husband and I made about what church to attend we made together. It’s one reason I am not in a hurry to get planted too soon in a church, because I know my drives and passions and those are not to remain single.
The Lord is faithful and I’m looking to Him to replace love and companionship in my life. I say love because sex is easy to replace. I had a great sex life with an unbeliever before I became a Christian, but love and companionship is only something I consider that God can replace in my life. Even many unbelievers have a good relationship as far as companionship and intimacy and have a moral conscience not to cheat on each other.
I like the “X” factor or the God element in marriage which is what I had which is the threefold cord and that is not easily broken. It’s when a man is following God in his life and his conscience is going to a higher power in prayer.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Eccl. 4:12
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Psalm 127:1
I screened and dated 30 men through a single’s ad to meet my husband and I’m up to screening/dating at least 30 men now. To me it’s like bearing fruit as I am wanting a good quality Christian man. What that was at age 35 years old was marrying a young Christian. I met a single never married woman three years ago, and she told me she dated 30 men also to find her husband and she is married now.
God showed me I’ve been in this bubble for 15 years and not really “in touch” with the rest of the world out there as far as having a good relationship. Even my lifestyle as a Christian is not even close to a majority of the world and definitely not a third world country!
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. Luke 1:51-53
It took four months for my husband to propose to me. I would not date someone more than two years without a proposal unless I was a college student working on a degree. I read the book “Call It Love or Call it Quits” by Charlie Hedges. It talked about the four stages of dating which are scoping (I meet many singles that never leave this stage), hoping (hoping they are the one), coping (coping with each other’s differences) and roping (making a commitment). Many people break up in the coping stage.
It’s those annoyances or idiosyncrasies about your special loved one that drive you nuts. I always thought my husband’s OCD behaviors were rather cute. He would come over and straighten up all my CDs and make sure they were in their CD holders. I can see the look of stress on his face when I had no idea where the sleave jacket was for the CD. He was meticulous when it came to CDs had to be in a case with their sleeve’s. He also did all his own laundry too since his socks had to be together. I just considered it lucky if I could even get to the laundry machine with six children at home and I made all our children do their own laundry.
I gave the book to Mike when we were dating and then he sent me a dozen roses and said, “Here is to Roping.” One of my guy friends wants to add the stage “Poking.” Sorry guys that was not on the list in the book. LOL
Some managers are micro-managers, and dating men it can be like the song by The Police, “I’ll Be Watching You.” I just never liked it when attorneys would dictate to me on the computer while watching me type! When my husband told me he wanted to play Texas Holdem poker with his work friends, I did not go “check up” on him because he never gave me a reason not to trust him.
I don’t mind a man who likes to plan. Hey guy, you can map out our whole life ahead of time if you want, but then there is a deceitfulness when it comes to a man who has control issues. It’s a cruel manipulation and game playing to get his own way. It can be through withdrawal affection, the silent treatment, withholding sex or financial blessings. I do my part in marriage whether a man does his part and trust God. Eventually, I am trusting God to turn it around, if it doesn’t get turned around than most likely the marriage will heads toward the iceberg called divorce. Manipulation just does not work in marriage. (Give the devil no place or foothold Ephesians 4:27)
Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control 1 Cor. 7:5
God does not play manipulation games. If we have blessings withheld from us - -it’s not God that does the withholding. I do a “checkup” in life like going to the doctor to see what is the problem and usually the problem is with me.
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:3
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Psalm 84:11
My current job position was one of the best openings as far as a newly created position where I could take the job and do things my way. It was an opportunity to be creative and take on more responsibility as I got better understanding of the job. I have been reassigned twice to different responsibilities and a different manager as the other ones left in 12 years.
It is taking a job that is a joy and that is how a marriage partner can be where it’s finding our fullest potential with a mate. So like a job can increase our productivity, it’s finding a person that brings the best out of us. In marriage there are times that our way may conflict with a mate’s way and it says, “Love seeks not its own way. 1 Cor. 13:5” There were times I did things to please my mate to please him, and vice versa. It’s a two way street when it comes to pleasing each other.
The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 1 Cor. 7:4
Same way on a job as far as there may be some things my manager wants me to do, and I may not agree about what he wants, but as an employee, it’s about making and keeping my manager happy to get the job done. I’m very thankful that most decisions my husband and I made about what church to attend we made together. It’s one reason I am not in a hurry to get planted too soon in a church, because I know my drives and passions and those are not to remain single.
The Lord is faithful and I’m looking to Him to replace love and companionship in my life. I say love because sex is easy to replace. I had a great sex life with an unbeliever before I became a Christian, but love and companionship is only something I consider that God can replace in my life. Even many unbelievers have a good relationship as far as companionship and intimacy and have a moral conscience not to cheat on each other.
I like the “X” factor or the God element in marriage which is what I had which is the threefold cord and that is not easily broken. It’s when a man is following God in his life and his conscience is going to a higher power in prayer.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Eccl. 4:12
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Psalm 127:1
Hi,
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