time to kill and a time to heal, a time
to tear down and a time to build, Eccl. 3:3
I
see the abundant life is the quality of my relationship with God first, and
then the quality of my relationships with others. I am the happiest when
relationships are going well in life. My relationship with my children is
going well. My husband passed away when our marriage was at flood tide- it
was best years of our relationship as far as we had no relationship issues we
had not dealt with. It says that God is “is the restorer of
the breach and paths to dwell in.”
"Those from among you will rebuild
the ancient ruins; You will raise up the age-old foundations; And you will be
called the repairer of the breach, The restorer of the streets in which to
dwell. Isaiah 58:12
You have not gone up to the breaches in
the wall to repair it for the people of Israel so that it will stand firm in
the battle on the day of the Lord. Ezekiel 13:5
Trying
to replace a quality relationship has not been easy, but I heard someone said
that is because we want everything instant –right now in our fast
track/throw away paper society where as it takes time to build relationships
and build a house. My husband and I built a physical and spiritual
house together and it starts with a good foundation and then the builder puts
up the walls and the rest is filled in from there.
Many
people don’t like to think of a relationship as “building.” It’s
sort of like fast food lanes where they want a fast lane relationship. So if
things are not “moving” along very fast than you can pull over to the right
lane, because I’m in the left lane concerning this relationship.
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders
labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in
vain. Psalm 127:1
By wisdom a house is built, and through
understanding it is established; Proverbs 24:3
The
part I liked about the movie, “Pretty Woman” is how the man was always selling
off companies, but he said that he never had built anything like when he was a
child with his Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, metal Erector sets or Legos.
I
was talking to a man who lost his wife and he was complaining about a divorced
woman and I told him that she may not understand what a relationship is and
keeping up the communication. I was trying to help him with some basic ground
rules. He is trying to flip back to when he was in his 20’s where he
never had to say, “I want an exclusive relationship” and I told him that he may
be pressuring his new dating partner too soon or expecting too much before the
relationship has time to blossom. There are some relationships that take
off fast and then others that are more like a crock pot. I prefer crock
pot relationships. The ones where they seem like “they are too good to be
true” ended up too good to be true. He wants an instant relationship.
God
has given me several different friends and friends come and go, but I’m very
happy if I have one or two “quality” friends. I’ve had some boating
friends, movie friends, restaurant friends, it’s been very hard to replace my
best friend which was my husband or my all-around friend. Not everyone
attaches emotionally in marriage. I meet many Christian men and women that
have been hurt by a fling. Even a marriage can be a fling as far as
it never developed where they could fully trust that person with their
heart. Jesus told us that the man would leave his father and mother
and “cling” to his wife, but not everyone does the leaving and the clinging.
Above all else, guard your heart, for
everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
Therefore, a man should leave his
father and his mother and should cleave to his wife, and the two of
them shall be one flesh. Ephesians 5:31, Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5
I
always liked that song by the Turtles, “Happy Together.” In order to be
happy together it’s takes two people in agreement to work on the marriage.
Can two walk together, except they be
agreed? Amos 3:3
Anyone
who has been through a divorce, has a sense that their house has been torn
down, they have been torn down over a period of time emotionally. Anyone
who has been through a death (especially a sudden death), feels like their
house has been annihilated, like a hurricane or tornado. There may be a
few ruins left to remind them of that 35-50 year relationship like the ancient
ruins of Greece.
This
tearing down
goes back to two scriptures I find and many times a house is torn down through
the power of negative words to each other. Sometimes the union is not
salvageable. I spent a lot of time fasting and praying to save my
marriage and finally I got a release from God right before I got the divorce
papers from my ex. I practically had the whole town of Indianapolis
praying for us. The Lord told me, “You have suffered enough” and then the
divorce from him was final two months later. I could not file the
divorce because I was not living in Indiana six months.
time to kill and a time to heal, a
time to tear down and a time to build, Eccl. 3:3
The wise woman builds her house, but with
her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1
If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. Galatians 5:15
Most
people I met that have been through a divorce tell me that they drifted apart
long before the person left. The divorce was first in their heart before
they actually had the physical paperwork. For widows and widowers that
have lost a spouse to death if it was a good relationship, they go on loving
the person in their heart. 1 Cor. 13:7 where it says that love never fails is
true.
It bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Cor. 13:7
There
are some widows won’t take off their wedding ring and feel like they are
cheating on their former husband. Some in-laws and their husband’s
friends will act like we are disrespecting their memory if we want to get
remarried.
It
compares marriage to God in that we are free from the law of sin and death ---
It’s a great comparison I understand it being widowed. As God makes us free in
our hearts and minds to be married to another, is very similar how we are to break
ties with this world in our minds and souls, and the sin it
offers to be free to serve Christ in the liberty he has called us to. It
usually takes widows 6-7 years to break some of the soulish ties with their
husband in a good long-term relationship, but I’ve heard of recurring memories
on special events like weddings.
In
the same way, many people have not broke ties with this world and been free to
walk in the liberty of God’s grace and love. Many chains drag them down
from their past and ties to this world since they have not renewed their minds
to God’s word.
Do you not know, brothers and
sisters--for I am speaking to those who know the law--that the law has
authority over someone only as long as that person lives? For example, by law a
married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her
husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So
then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still
alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released
from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man. So, my
brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that
you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that
we might bear fruit for God. For when we were in the realm of the flesh,
the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us, so that we bore
fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released
from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old
way of the written code. Romans 7:2-6
At
times, I get confused who my boss is in life. Who runs this planet
anyway? I had this one job where I worked for the CEO and there were four
CEO’s in the two years I was there. The first CEO was fired about a week
or two after I accepted the position. Then I had an interim
manager. Then I had another CEO for one year and then he was fired.
By the 4th CEO, I decided I was looking for a more stable job.
What is rather funny is that I came to a university from a performance
based hospital, but I had no idea that they can have a different dean every
five years based on performance too.
When
I hear these stories about a minister who son and his fiancé were murdered on a
beach by some transit guy and it was a senseless killing and no money was
taken, then I think so who really is the boss in life? If it says, “Your
will be done on earth as it is heaven,” I know there is no murder in heaven so
if I get murdered how can that be God’s perfect will?”
It
says to test and approve God’s three wills. Good, acceptable and
perfect. I would much rather leave this earth like I heard one minister
say with his jaw coming down hitting the podium saying, “Repent” to thousands
of people. Actually, I would be concerned that my children would have my
body shipped from overseas, and the plane would crash
over some island like LOST, so peacefully in my sleep is my preference.
LOL…my mind is renewed well to this world at times.
No comments:
Post a Comment