This is Dedicated to the One I Love, 18th Anniversary March 6th:
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8
Our heavenly Father is the author of love. Love is God's idea. God is love. God said His creation was good, but it was not good for man to be alone. Adam noticed that the animals had a mate, but there was not a partner for Adam until God made Eve. Maybe dog is not man's best friend after all?
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. Genesis 2:20
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18
In order to love, you have to put your heart out there. Putting your heart out there is taking a risk. You can get hurt. Is love worth taking a risk?
Relationships are planting. When you meet someone and date you are planting into the soil of that relationship. In dating, many people are not on the same time clock as you. If you get a guy on the same time clock than you are on the same page and ready for a relationship. That does not mean the person will not be ready in the future, but it may not be the right person for you because they don’t recognize a door of opportunity.
A student who was in the university program where I work mainly played on his computer all the time, and never came to one of my bowling socials I organized for students and staff where he could have met a single girl. He complained after he got his degree that there were no women in the desert of Nevada where he moved to a new job. He missed a door of opportunity, because he was too focused on his college studies to take advantage of the clubs and socials at our university.
Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Song of Solomon 2:7
In the Song of Solomon it states don’t wake up love so some people's time clock alarm has not gone off and it is sleeping/dormant where other people’s time clocks are blaring (especially women 29 years old or older wanting to have children are usually blaring). The average age for women to bear children is usually 28 years old. I met a woman recently who is 30 years old and she was very discouraged about dating. I felt compassion for her, and shared that I believe God was pleased she was seeking Him for a mate and that God heard her cry. It was something the Lord laid on my heart to encourage her that our Heavenly Father has her best interests at heart. He is the one who gives us our heart's desires.
So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom. Luke 12:32
A student who was in the university program where I work mainly played on his computer all the time, and never came to one of my bowling socials I organized for students and staff where he could have met a single girl. He complained after he got his degree that there were no women in the desert of Nevada where he moved to a new job. He missed a door of opportunity, because he was too focused on his college studies to take advantage of the clubs and socials at our university.
Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Song of Solomon 2:7
In the Song of Solomon it states don’t wake up love so some people's time clock alarm has not gone off and it is sleeping/dormant where other people’s time clocks are blaring (especially women 29 years old or older wanting to have children are usually blaring). The average age for women to bear children is usually 28 years old. I met a woman recently who is 30 years old and she was very discouraged about dating. I felt compassion for her, and shared that I believe God was pleased she was seeking Him for a mate and that God heard her cry. It was something the Lord laid on my heart to encourage her that our Heavenly Father has her best interests at heart. He is the one who gives us our heart's desires.
So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom. Luke 12:32
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah Psalm 21:2
I have met divorced men and women who have said they don’t want to get remarried. They just want friends. When is it God’s timing for us to meet a person in our lives to remarry? God’s timing is when we are ready (ripe) like it says below. He can bring that person into our lives when our hearts are ready. Women who want children, women who want to get married, those of you who have older daughters may hear “her time clock is ticking.” When a person is ripe than they are like fruit ready to be picked from a tree. If a persons "says" they just want friends that is what they only will have because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe and you’re ready. “do not stir up love until the appropriate time.” Song of Solomon 2:7
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45
I’ve heard dating advise say that if you are the one, you will find the one. I can be the one to several people, although, I have to be true to my own heart and what drives me/makes me tick. What makes you tick? It’s usually your passions that make you tick. I enjoy boating in the summer and going to movies. I enjoy dancing. I've always had some type of outreach/ministry in my life. I like activities with my children and grandchildren. It's finding a person who will enjoys the same passions.
then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Philip 2:2
Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Cor. 13:11
That is what made Jesus tick. There is the passion of Christ. The passion of Christ was the joy set before Him that helped Him endure the cross. He saw the redemption of man. I heard a great comparison by a minister that God sees the whole football field of life (the whole time/space continuum) because he is the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega. He is not limited by time. We look at the here and now and fret, because we don't see how "all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose." Going to the cross was very dark and a gloomy day, and our cross can be dark and gloomy at times, but in three days Jesus rose from the dead.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2
I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." Revelation 1:8
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
In my adult life, I’ve been involved in various student and work computer users groups, a senator in student government, involved in staff council as a representative and on the leadership committee, organized new bowling clubs at work and sang in choirs. My husband had free tickets through vendors at his company to Verizon music concerts, Pacer’s Basketball games, IRT theatre plays, Murrat Temple ballets and plays, the 500-mile races and a myriad of other events. There were many dancing balls on top of the Indiana Roof we attended through my work. We had a very active social life and boating in the summer and an active life, I plan to continue.
Although, my husband died on earth, my social life did not die with my spouse. Neither did my relationship with Jesus Christ. I may have had a Tornado hit my life as far as the disaster of losing a husband early in life, but I had a basement to hide out in and that basement is Jesus Christ. My life is hidden with Christ in God.
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4
Baby You Are The One!
"Looking back and analyzing it, I can say that being with him was like being home. We were so comfortable, easy, and natural together. In the past, I've had relationships that had huge highs and lows, fireworks and dramas, and this was distinct from those relationships, because it had none of that. It was like the proverbial jigsaw piece fitting into place. Sometimes I hear from people who ask, "How can I be sure if he is the one?" If you're not sure, then simply wait until you are. Marriage is not something to enter into with extreme doubts!"
There are various Christian man’s philosophies as far as when you quit trying, quit seeking, quit thinking about getting a husband or wife, one will magically land in your boat (life). In other words, we don’t take our fishing poles and bait with us or we quit going fishing. If Thomas Edison who invented the light bulb, Alexander Fleming who invented Penicillin, or Henry Ford who invented a more reasonable automobile had that mind set we all would have missed out on great inventions/great discoveries in life. I’m a co-laborer with God which means I take my fishing poles fishing and as Peter had to let down his net. I don’t follow man’s philosophies, they don’t work.
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. Colossians 2:8
What happen to preaching determination? Have Christians decided that trusting God is throwing out determination in life? Where there is a will there is a way. The way is Jesus Christ, the will is surrender to His will.
So we rebuilt the wall, which was rebuilt to about half its [original] height. The people worked with determination. Nehemiah 4:6
They were just trying to intimidate us, imagining that they could discourage us and stop the work. So I continued the work with even greater determination. Nehemiah 6:9
Fishing is good in my life, because I know what kind of fish I want to catch. A guy can be a great Christian guy and be attractive and intelligent, but if he does not share dreams/passions of mine there is no point in taking a relationship farther, because it won’t work out. I was at a Bible study where a married woman said that she and her husband don’t agree on anything. This is sad because I don’t know what drew those people together in the first place? My husband and I were opposites as far as he was an introvert and I was an extrovert. Only my husband was not introverted when it came to activities. Most dating advise will tell you that having like interests is the best compatibility. I've spoken to several divorced men that complained about their wives just wanting to shop and they were not compatible in enjoying activites together. I even enjoyed painting a deck, remodeling the house, or sitting in the car next to my husband.
My mother had two men who proposed marriage to her at the same time. My mother wanted my dad. My dad had a fear of commitment, but when he found out he was going to lose my mother to a man more single-minded, he proposed.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:8
Yes, keep emailing me all these men’s philosophies about not seeking a mate. Thank you for your aggravation since it just makes me more determined. It’s the same oppression I had when I was divorced with four little mouths to feed. Are you sure God has not called you to be single? God wants you to scrape by and raise those four little children on your own. Are you sure God has not said to not eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil? When people say it can’t be done, I get more determined.
It’s like the time I got upset at a single’s social picnic two years ago, because a guy was teasing me about bringing a peanut butter pie that that had 640 calories each piece. I did not eat the pie, but I also went home and I worked out on the treadmill. His joking about eating a high-calorie pie made me all the more determined to stick to my diet. I lost 40 lbs. with determination.
It’s a “soft spot” in my life, because of my husband’s joking about eating ice cream every night and having a heart attack. I don’t take some things lightly in life. I don’t take eating and drinking unhealthy food lightly. I don’t take marriage lightly. I gained 10 lbs. back because I softened up in determination. I have to stick to my guns in my diet and I’ll stick to determination to get my goals in life. Hannah and Sarah had a “soft spot” in their life and their oppressor like to torment them about not having children. Sarai was aggravated with Hagar.
This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat….In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 1 Samuel 1:7,10
Yes, keep emailing me all these men’s philosophies about not seeking a mate. Thank you for your aggravation since it just makes me more determined. It’s the same oppression I had when I was divorced with four little mouths to feed. Are you sure God has not called you to be single? God wants you to scrape by and raise those four little children on your own. Are you sure God has not said to not eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil? When people say it can’t be done, I get more determined.
It’s like the time I got upset at a single’s social picnic two years ago, because a guy was teasing me about bringing a peanut butter pie that that had 640 calories each piece. I did not eat the pie, but I also went home and I worked out on the treadmill. His joking about eating a high-calorie pie made me all the more determined to stick to my diet. I lost 40 lbs. with determination.
It’s a “soft spot” in my life, because of my husband’s joking about eating ice cream every night and having a heart attack. I don’t take some things lightly in life. I don’t take eating and drinking unhealthy food lightly. I don’t take marriage lightly. I gained 10 lbs. back because I softened up in determination. I have to stick to my guns in my diet and I’ll stick to determination to get my goals in life. Hannah and Sarah had a “soft spot” in their life and their oppressor like to torment them about not having children. Sarai was aggravated with Hagar.
This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat….In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 1 Samuel 1:7,10
He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress Genesis 16:4 v.6 Your servant is in your hands," Abram said. "Do with her whatever you think best." Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her.
I have a soft spot in my life and it’s being a younger widow and losing out on the time of my life with my husband in my children being grown. The enemy knows my soft spot. Last night, I was at a single's Bible study where the speaker was talking about his wife of 27 years of marriage, and it as if a knife went through my heart that my marriage was not that long. Babies are born with a soft spot in life and you can’t hurt that soft spot until their skull grows together. You can have a soft spot which is bruise on your skin or maybe you have a soft spot on your foot that hurts. I find people and Satan likes to press in on my soft spot on my heart. In a dream I had, an evil man was doing his Chinese torture in pressing in the middle of my forehead. Although, Satan specializes in pressing on my soft spots, and he will be torturing people throughout eternity, I personally like to give the enemy a black eye in return or choke him back like in the same dream I had in telling more people about Jesus each year. That is a great goal in life and also my specialization is in encouraging as many Christians and widows that God has a great plan for their life.
I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. Psalm 142:2
Faith, patience, hope and determination pays off. It did for me in going through screening and dating 26 men through a secular single’s ad to find the “one.” I have the same determination now to find the next “one.” It did for David who had his momentum in killing a bear, lion and then Goliath. When David started running from Saul and hiding in a cave, David started getting doubts. You don’t want to lose your momentum in going to college and taking classes, looking for a job, looking for husband/wife, or serving God and going to church. When you drop out of the race, unless it’s a short period of time to wait on the Lord, you lose your momentum. I dropped out of advanced Math in college and now I’ve got a lion to face in defeating a Trig class.
Part of surrender is asking what we can do to be a better husband/wife to a person. I’ve thought about that question many times and I’ve asked myself can a person stand to live with me? It's been the time of reflection and prayer of the damage a sudden death did to me emotionally. I hope if you answer the question that the answer is “Yes.” I hope you are not so set in your ways that you can’t bend to another person’s will in life. For submission is one to another in the Lord.
and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Ephesians 5:21
The desire of my heart is to meet the second love of my love within the next four years. I don't like to be single too long because I know too many others who have a hard time "getting back in the saddle again" once you have not been in a relationship. I started dating my husband 1-l/2 years after my divorce and we were married in ten months after that. I knew within three months of dating he was the one for me. I like to keep a momentum going as far as I had a good relationship for 15 years and was happily married, and want that double blessing again in my life.
Ruth made steps to pursue Boaz as far as continually working in the field in his sight and she laid down at his feet at the harvest celebration. Jacob worked 14 years for Rachel so he did not quit thinking about Rachel. In fishing for souls, it’s our hands that does the reaching, our feet that do the walking, and our mouth that does the preaching. I had to send out resumes to obtain a good job. I’ve had to check out a home to live in or a car to purchase. The spies scoped out the promise land. There is scoping out the land, and we scope out a mate.
I like the song, The One, music by Elton John and lyrics by Bernie Taupin and I’ve posted it below. It was played at my husband’s funeral, because my husband and I were the one for each other. Whenever I think about my husband or I look at his pictures, my heart leaps. It was like that in marriage as far whenever I saw my husband in the 15+ years I knew him, my heart leaped. It’s been three years since he passed away, and the memory is just as vivid if he was alive today. I’m not sure how I get my heart back to love another, but God knows. The Lord spoke to me that He is taking care of my treasures (heart) in heaven.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34
I've spoken to other widows who feel the same. I don't have those type of living memories with my parents or sister as I do with my husband who is deceased. It's as Jesus said, "Give us this day our daily bread." That person was a living part of our lives, because it was a daily communication with them. When you have been in communion with a person 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years that person becomes a part of your soul. In the same way, when we commune with God every day, God becomes a part of our soul. We are partaking of his nature. I partook of my husband’s nature every day because I was in communion with him. You can’t wipe out my life/history with my husband even through a Tornado hit my life with a sudden death when he passed away just like you can’t wipe out my life with God. My husband was as much a part of me as breathing is a part of my life every day and God is a part of my life. We are sealed in Jesus and my husband is sealed in my memory. I don’t expect that history to ever go away because like the ruins of Greece remind us of an ancient civilization there will always be something that reminds me of my husband either externally through family, events or in my soul.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:30
In the movie Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow was out to capture Davey Jones’ heart that he ripped out, because of a woman who stood him up and it was in a chest. The chest became known as the Dead Man's Chest. I’ve not had another man capture my heart.
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23
Ruth made steps to pursue Boaz as far as continually working in the field in his sight and she laid down at his feet at the harvest celebration. Jacob worked 14 years for Rachel so he did not quit thinking about Rachel. In fishing for souls, it’s our hands that does the reaching, our feet that do the walking, and our mouth that does the preaching. I had to send out resumes to obtain a good job. I’ve had to check out a home to live in or a car to purchase. The spies scoped out the promise land. There is scoping out the land, and we scope out a mate.
I like the song, The One, music by Elton John and lyrics by Bernie Taupin and I’ve posted it below. It was played at my husband’s funeral, because my husband and I were the one for each other. Whenever I think about my husband or I look at his pictures, my heart leaps. It was like that in marriage as far whenever I saw my husband in the 15+ years I knew him, my heart leaped. It’s been three years since he passed away, and the memory is just as vivid if he was alive today. I’m not sure how I get my heart back to love another, but God knows. The Lord spoke to me that He is taking care of my treasures (heart) in heaven.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34
In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. 1 Timothy 6:19
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:20
I've spoken to other widows who feel the same. I don't have those type of living memories with my parents or sister as I do with my husband who is deceased. It's as Jesus said, "Give us this day our daily bread." That person was a living part of our lives, because it was a daily communication with them. When you have been in communion with a person 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years that person becomes a part of your soul. In the same way, when we commune with God every day, God becomes a part of our soul. We are partaking of his nature. I partook of my husband’s nature every day because I was in communion with him. You can’t wipe out my life/history with my husband even through a Tornado hit my life with a sudden death when he passed away just like you can’t wipe out my life with God. My husband was as much a part of me as breathing is a part of my life every day and God is a part of my life. We are sealed in Jesus and my husband is sealed in my memory. I don’t expect that history to ever go away because like the ruins of Greece remind us of an ancient civilization there will always be something that reminds me of my husband either externally through family, events or in my soul.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:30
In the movie Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow was out to capture Davey Jones’ heart that he ripped out, because of a woman who stood him up and it was in a chest. The chest became known as the Dead Man's Chest. I’ve not had another man capture my heart.
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23
Didn't the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. Malachi 2:15
Even though I had a great relationship, I've done my best to not pursue a person that was like my husband. I started doing that at first and it did not work in dating. I want to appreciate a person for their own uniqueness and specialness and see them as valuable and precious. Reminds me of a joke my friend said to a guy when he said her name was unique. How do you catch a bunny rabbit? Unique up on them. I like a wuzzy wabbit.
The One: Music by Elton John and Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
I saw you dancing out the ocean
Even though I had a great relationship, I've done my best to not pursue a person that was like my husband. I started doing that at first and it did not work in dating. I want to appreciate a person for their own uniqueness and specialness and see them as valuable and precious. Reminds me of a joke my friend said to a guy when he said her name was unique. How do you catch a bunny rabbit? Unique up on them. I like a wuzzy wabbit.
The One: Music by Elton John and Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
I saw you dancing out the ocean
Running fast along the sand
A spirit born of earth and water
Fire flying from your hands
In the instant that you love someone
In the second that the hammer hits
Reality runs up your spine
And the pieces finally fit
And all I ever needed was the one
Like freedom fields where wild horses run
When stars collide like you and I
No shadows block the sun
You're all I've ever needed
Baby you're the one
There are caravans we follow
Drunken nights in dark hotels
When chances breathe between the silence
Where sex and love no longer gel
For each man in his time is Cain
Until he walks along the beach
And sees his future in the water
A long lost heart within his reach
A spirit born of earth and water
Fire flying from your hands
In the instant that you love someone
In the second that the hammer hits
Reality runs up your spine
And the pieces finally fit
And all I ever needed was the one
Like freedom fields where wild horses run
When stars collide like you and I
No shadows block the sun
You're all I've ever needed
Baby you're the one
There are caravans we follow
Drunken nights in dark hotels
When chances breathe between the silence
Where sex and love no longer gel
For each man in his time is Cain
Until he walks along the beach
And sees his future in the water
A long lost heart within his reach
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