Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16
One of the problems I run into a lot with some Christian singles is a “self-condemnation/
Right before I was remarried when I was 35 years old, I read that book "Search for Significance" and it's a book that I probably should keep reading over and over. It's about knowing our identification and significance through Jesus Christ. Not finding our importance through people, our mates, our jobs (ministries) or things.
My manager got rifted and there was a big turnover at my former job and I was reassigned several times, around 15 people left in one year, then there was a turnover of a pastor and many people at a church I attended, next I've lost several family members and my spouse.
Sooner or later, I find the only stability in life is building our life around the revelation of Jesus Christ and who he is (our identification with him). Jesus said the “gates of hell” will not prevail against his church and that revelation.
(He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." And Jesus said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. And I say also to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. Matthew 16:16-18)
That is where our importance or significance lies. Not in what we do or what people think about us.
So whenever I hear Christian people putting themselves down or putting others down I think of this scripture:
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. Roman 8:1-2