Thursday, April 14, 2011

Old, Fat and Ugly? Try God's Makeover School, I'm Xena the Warrior Princess

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Proverbs 23:9

There are a number of makeovers programs.  There is the ABC Extreme Makeover Home edition which focuses on fixing up a person’s home or material things.  It’s nice to have a new home especially if your house is falling apart or too small for several children.  Then there are the plastic surgery makeovers.  I’m tempted to have one of those with a chin tuck, Botox, some other fixing on body parts, but have you noticed that some people are obsessed with plastic surgery?  Michael Jackson was constantly changing his nose. 

Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:4

Next, there are the hair, clothes, facial, pedicures, manicures makeover’s.  Friday, my friend and I went to a single’s group and we had a facial treatment and foot soaking.  Many single or married women could benefit from these external makeovers.  I believe as Christian women with such beautiful hearts, the outside of our body should align itself automatically with those hearts.  I see some extremely beautiful women, but then when they open their mouth, they ruin it all.   Our mouth should match what’s inside our hearts.   It would be nice if we could wear our bodies inside out like our shirts so people could see our heart like God sees our hearts.  It does not work that way.  I find I have to work at taking care of my body with exercise and eating right. 

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”  1 Samuel 16:7
I was watching the movie recently Princess Diaries.  It’s a movie about a clumsy teenager becoming a princess.  I remember my mother sending me to Charm School when I was 12 years old.  I was a Tom boy growing up with my brother, and playing with the neighbor boys army, football, baseball, skateboarding and climbing trees.  I’m not sure the Charm school worked.  In fact, I’m opening up my own refinishing school.  I will teach you like Jack on the Titanic to: Rose: Teach me to ride like a man. Jack: And chew tobacco like a man. Rose: And spit like a man!  Jack: What, they didn't teach you that in finishing school?

Alter Ego Makeovers

Most action heroes in comic book have gone through a tragedy in life and have an alter ego.  Spiderman lost his uncle, Batman lost his parents who were shot in front of him, Daredevil lost his girlfriend, Catwoman was pushed out of a window as a secretary, and Superman lost his father.   About a year ago, when everyone was sitting down eating their Thanksgiving dinners, I was busy sewing my alter ego costume.  Some on Facebook thought my alter ego should be Catwoman.  I’ve died a thousand deaths by now (definitely more than nine lives) in losing so many relatives I love in life, but Catwoman was a little psycho. 

I decided on Trinity of the Matrix at the time.   I like her black leather outfit and those wild jumps.  I jumped the highest bungy jump in the world (436 feet) in Queenstown, New Zealand in October a month before I decided that Trinity was my alter ego.  A slight problem with Trinity is she died on Matrix 3.  

I’ve decided my new alter ego is Xena the Warrior Princess.  Now where do I base this alter ego from? Gideon.  There is no male or female in Christ Jesus and examples in the Old Testament were written for our admonition.  If God saw Gideon as a mighty warrior, no reason to believe that he does not see me that way too.  

When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior."  Judges 6:12  V.14 The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?"

Like the Olympics has three medals for the top contenders, in this school there are three types of membership, gold, silver and bronze.  The gold members are for people who have endured hardships or have the most afflictions in life for the gospel, followed by a ministry of signs and wonders.   Most of those are the super apostles or Superman like Paul talked about.   I have not met too many super apostles or Super Christians in my lifetimeI do not think I am in the least inferior to those “super-apostles.” 2 Cor. 11:5

The things that mark an apostle--signs, wonders and miracles--were done among you with great perseverance 2 Cor. 2:12

The apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders among the people... Acts 5:12

.....prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again.  Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one.  Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers...... 2 Cor. 10:24-30
The next membership for God’s makeover school is the silver membership.  That level is where more fall in the category where they endured several hardships in life and have had success in ministry, serving their country, faithful to providing for their family and ministry on a job. 

Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 2:3
By your endurance you will gain your lives. / In your patience possess ye your souls.  Luke 21:19
“‘I know your works, your love and faith and service and patient endurance, and that your latter works exceed the first. Revelations 21:19

Notice the scriptures above are about endurance, as long as you don’t look like you are enduring a needed bowel movement.   LOL...The final is the bronze memberships.  This is for Christians on “barely” getting along street next to grumble alley with a needed attitude adjustment.  A whole generation of people died in the wilderness that had this membership.   The nice thing about all these memberships is they have equivalent awards as far as I can tell.  Well, as far as getting us into the gates of heaven.   What happens from there is anybody’s guess.  I’m not sure about those stripes, I’m not wanting any lashes personally since Jesus took lashes for me. 

And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not [himself], neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many [stripes]. Luke 12:47
But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first. Matthew 19:30
Even now the reaper draws his wages, even now he harvests the crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. John 4:36

Mary’s school of hard knocks has an added benefit that if you stick around long enough on this planet that Hercules will come visit the school and he will come on a white horse. 

There is no cost to this school  because Jesus said:

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Matthew 10:8


Bargaining Chips are Provided

I have “bargaining chips” with God.  If you play poker, you buy chips, and annie with those chips.  I loved playing poker with my grandmother.  I can picture my grandmother with a beer, eating black liqorich with no teeth and saying, “I’ll annie you four chips, Mary.” 

I bargain with God that if he wants me to do something than he has to provide companions or show me his will.   “God give me a confirmation that you want me to go to that Bible study.”   There are so many things I can be doing (acts of service).  I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing that God wants me to do.  I don’t want to be involved in worship with a single’s group when God wants me to do something else.  OR he may wants someone else leading worship to give them an opportunity to stretch their wings and do service. 

so David inquired of God: "Shall I go and attack the Philistines? Will you hand them over to me?" The Lord answered him, "Go, I will hand them over to you." 1 Chron. 14:10

Moses told God he needed help with his insecurity in public speaking and God gave him Aaron.  Paul had Timothy as a help and later Luke.  Jonathon asked God for a confirmation before he went to take a hill with his armor bearer.  God do you want me to take that hill in life?

But if they say, 'Come up to us,' we will climb up, because that will be our sign that the Lord has given them into our hands." So both of them showed themselves to the Philistine outpost. "Look!" said the Philistines. "The Hebrews are crawling out of the holes they were hiding in." The men of the outpost shouted to Jonathan and his armor-bearer, "Come up to us and we'll teach you a lesson." So Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, "Climb up after me; the Lord has given them into the hand of Israel." Jonathan climbed up, using his hands and feet, with his armor-bearer right behind him. The Philistines fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer followed and killed behind him. . 1 Samuel 14:10-13

I’ve done some "dare the devil" things in the past on my own as far as go into women’s prison with my guitar when other women at my church did not want to do it anymore and street witnessing downtown.   Recently I was lead to pick up a woman hitch hiker, and then ask a girl who was walking in the dark alongside of a road if she needed a ride.  One time I went by myself and covered worship for a person with my guitar at a nursing home.  On the whole, I take certain risks in life, if I believe God wants me to.  When I was in a Christian ministry I went witnessing outside of bars and adult bookstores with a buddy, and one time a riot broke out and a policeman was apologizing for pushing my back with a billy club while I was preaching the gospel.   In Washington D.C., another girl and I were threatened by pimps when we told some prostitutes, “Jesus loves you.”  

On the whole, whenever I have a ministry, there is another person who is called to work with me.  When I did worship at a single's group with my guitar, I had a man who played the keyboards.   Jesus sent his disciples out by twos, and I look for that support person that God has for me in my life.  I was thinking about going on vacation during March, but did not want to go by myself, and then my daughter called me saying she wanted to go on a vacation.  I was wanting to go to a Christian concert this June in Ohio, and a friend said she wanted to go with me.  I don't see that God has ever called me to be a Lone Ranger Christian.  Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.

Lately, I’ve been going through attacks on my life about being alone.  I see myself as a co-laborer with God which means like the movie Clash of the Titans, we are demi-gods or heroes in that the greater one (God) lives inside of us.  The focus needs to be on God, since He is the one who does the works through us...He is the head and we are the body, but he needs our cooperation.  The body has to cooperate with the head.   So if God has sent me into battle like David fought Goliath on his own, God is the one that makes the difference and it is God that will fight the battles for me.  What did David say:  With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. Psalm 18:29 & 2 Samuel 22:30

Also, David said that Goliath came against him with sword and spear (with a gun and bullets), but he came against Goliath in the name of his God.  We have the name of Jesus and the blood of Jesus: David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.  1 Samuel 17:45

For us who are in computer programming or Math we know that the sign > stands for greater than and < stands for less than.  God’s word says that we overcome because the greater one is in us.  This sign also means more than 2 > 1…2 is more than 1.  God + Mary is > (greater than or more than) the devil.  God + Lynn is greater than the devil, God + Sally is greater than the devil, God + Mike is greater than the devil. 

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37
You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

What is Mary’s goal in life as Xena the Warrior Princess?  Letting God crush Satan under my feet.  The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. Romans 16:20

Like children say, “This is my daddy.” “He’s my God, my deliverer, my fortress, my comforter, my Jehovah Jireh (provider), my light, my strength, my healer, my maker, my husband, my lover, my rock, he’s my all in all.” 

Jesus said a prophet is without honor in his own home, and in his own country.  When they wanted to push Jesus over the cliff, he went to another city where he was loved and welcomed.  If God sends you somewhere and one single group does not receive you or you don’t fit in at a church, go to another one and “shake the dust” off your feet.  God knows where you belong.  It’s not your problem, and don’t let it get you down. 

And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against  them. “ Mark 6:11
And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor." And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith. Matthew 13:57-58

If I was out “doing my own thing,” I would still be smoking marijuana.  God got a hold of me, and now I’m doing God’s thing.  There are so many other things one can do besides ministry outreaches.  When God gets a hold of you, you quit doing your own thing.  Going out on the streets and witnessing was something that God had me do many times “outside my own personal gain.”  What gain on this earthly planet is there in being a fool for Christ?  Definitely not popularity.  If I was in a popularity contest, I definitely don’t serve Jesus.  

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. Philip 2:21
I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." John 21:18 

I find a lot things God wants me to do and say to Christians or non-believers I “step on toes at times.”  Jesus was crucified and his disciples were martyred.  When Paul was saved immediately Jesus told him he was going to suffer for his sake.  That does not sound like a prosperity message to me.  Could it be because Satan was always trying to kill Paul through evil men and defame his ministry?  Are the current messages preparing Christians for the battle up ahead in life?   Paul was let down through a basket and escaped for his life and so was David when he escaped for his life from Saul.   The below scripture states that some Christians will be put to death.

I will show him how much he must suffer for my name." Acts 9:16
Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. Matthew 24:9

No More by Beckah Shae

Get behind me I’m coming through
I’m armed and dangerous
I’m like an army that’s fed up with you
commanding you must
get out my way and go back
to where you came from
Oh! Go! I’m telling you, no more!

I’m sick and tired of all you’re lies
nothing you say could make me
Agree with you, I know the truth
nothing you do could break me
You just don’t know who your messing with
I’m a warrior

Oh! Go! I’m telling you, no more!
The weapons of my warfare
they are not carnal

Oh! Go! I’m telling you, no more!
The weapons of my warfare
they are not carnal

The victory is mine
I’m taking back everything at least seven times
I raise my sword and make you wish
you never even tried
I’m telling you, No More!

All your attempts are only making me stronger
Your strategy ain’t fooling me any longer
I see you loud and clear
You can’t hide, but you can run
Oh! Go! I’m telling you, no more!

You best be leaving now
cause I’m about to bring some glory
You lose, and thanks again
for giving me an awesome story
You just don’t know who you’re messing with
I’m a warrior

Oh! No! I’m telling you no more!

Oh! Go! I’m telling you, no more!
The weapons of my warfare
they are not carnal

Oh! Go! I’m telling you, no more!
The weapons of my warfare
they are not carnal

The victory is mine
I’m taking back everything at least seven times
I raise my sword and make you wish
you never even tried
I’m telling you, No More

I’m not afraid cause I’m not alone
so be on your way
There’s nothing here for you
the battle’s already won
You ain’t worth my time
I ain’t messing with you no more
You’ve been defeated under my feet
crushed on the floor
You ain’t done nothing
but make me a better warrior!
So I’m telling you, no more!

The victory is mine
I’m taking back everything at least seven times
I raise my sword and make you wish
you never even tried
I’m telling you, No More!

The victory is mine
I’m taking back everything at least seven times
I raise my sword and make you wish
you never even tried
I’m telling you, No More!

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