Are women really the weaker sex? Peter said women were the weaker vessel (1Peter 3:7). God said it was not “good” for a man to be alone (that includes women) Genesis 2:18. This was before the fall when man had a perfect union with God and yet Adam still had a “sense of lack” in his life when he saw all the animals had a companion, but him. Apparently, dog was not man’s best friend! God said he would make a helpmate suitable for him. Jesus did not choose to have a mate because his bride was the Body of Christ. Paul chose to remain single because he was married to a ministry.
When woman ask me why when a man loses his wife, he moves on so fast. A common comment I hear is that “He is only a man.” I think I will use that excuse like Billy Joel’s song and I’ll say, “Because of Eve, I’m always a woman.” I realize that many women who ask me this question don’t understand men since many of them are never married or divorced. I would hope after living with a man successfully for almost 15 years, I pretty much have a man figured out so here it goes. People “settle” or they settle down because some sex is better than no sex in many men's minds and a relationship is better than no relationship in many women's minds.
What most men are looking for is the best help mate out there, but what happens is they settle for what they think is the best physical helpmate (the best for sex). I went through that too after my first marriage myself in that I chose someone based on great chemistry. He was a great kisser and we could kiss for hours, but what I find is a lot of people can fake being nice. They can even fake being nice up to six months or more. I’ve spoken to other women who went through short marriages like I did too because a man faked being nice until they got married.
Everyone has a past. Can the person and you make it in the present and the future together? Can you flow with the person as one unit? Some people may not have the personality or tolerance to be married. They may look too much at their self when marriage is becoming one flesh and looking at it as a unit. What happens is let’s call it the “me” syndrome or the “I” syndrome where that entire person thinks about all the time is their own needs. What you want in a relationship is the “we” syndrome and it’s a team effort of working together. No one gets a divorce for the better or good of the other person! Maybe that person is still an adolescent and never grew up. Adolescents typically have the “I” and the “me” syndrome. The planet and life does not revolve around our self. It revolves around the sun and when you think about it –that is how our life is it should revolve around the son of God.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Mark 10:7-8
I’ve worked with a number of adolescent men and women in the workplace. When I worked for residents at a hospital, they typically were adolescents as far as being so book-smart they did not have common sense. They were so intelligent they could not relate to other people. My former husband who is now deceased had that problem in that he had light Aspergers. I believe that is what partially attracted him to me is that I was better at social relationships than him. He was highly gifted in Science and Math.
Typically adolescents won’t admit they do anything wrong, they can’t see their own faults, they are fault-finding, they are rude/inconsiderate, and they blame others for things that go wrong in their life, they fail to have compassion for others or see life from a different viewpoint than their own viewpoint. They don’t typically take care of their stuff (maintain their stuff/fix it) and tear up other people’s stuff….just saying. They have no patience, but want everything now like children and say, “Are we there yet?”
I have a depth perception problem where I can’t drive a semi-truck and I’ve missed the last step of my stairs to my house several times and sprained my ankle thinking I was at the bottom of my stairs. I’ve spoken to others who have this same perception problem with the stairs to their home.
Last August, I missed the last step and broke my ankle when I was in a hurry to put my boat up when I was running down the stairs. I received a prophesy from the Lord that I should not miss the last step of my life in believing that my life is now over since my husband passed away. It’s a perception problem that most widows have in losing the love of our life, but the other part of the prophesy was not to rush that last step of my life. For me it’s rushing sex, because I’m a very physical person and I have been like that before I became a Christian. I like to slow things down in a relationship so that my head is not spinning out of control that I don’t see red flags or warning signs in front of me.
I believe we can turn our loneliness and sex drives over to the Lord and give it to him so we don’t “rush” into a relationship. It’s very easy to rush into certain relationships, because we like the easy road. It’s the road that is the most comfortable in life. I read a book a long time ago and it was called, “The Road Less Traveled.” I am currently on that road less traveled. It’s the same road that Moses was on. Through faith and "patience" it says we inherit the promises (Hebrews 6:12). I don't see an "exception" out there when it comes to relationships.
He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. Hebrews 11:25
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhbN1L4THh0&feature=related
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