My dad was the duct tape fix it specialist---duct tape just fixes it all. I wish I could duct tape my heart! I have enjoyed hanging out with my daughters and traveling with them. I'm counting my blessings today and one of them are my daughters. Sometimes they tend to weigh me down with their car and relationship problems because there are times like when my daughters called me to fix her lock that was frozen in the winter and I had no clue what to do outside of spray it with anti-freeze stuff. I know that my husband was so good at fixing stuff. My girlfriend said that she enjoyed hanging out with women at my Euchre party on Friday and giggling with the women. So one of my girlfriends and I are planning some girl's outings this spring/summer to have fun, and I definitely will plan a Monroe Lake adventure ---just for girls (no boys allowed)! I would rather have single women as my allies, not my foes! It’s a difficult since I had problems with jealousy from my sister and other girls I grew up with in the past, but it has been getting better.
This is so funny!
Steel Magnolias
Going through hell emotionally?
Yes folks there have been many times in my life I went through hell emotionally. I have another widow friend who woke up and her husband had passed away in bed of a heart attack and was gone in her bed. It’s very weird how sometimes just a little saying can mean so much but yesterday I saw that quote about "Going through hell? Well go through it."
I heard a minister say that some go through the fiery furnace and some go around it. Job went through it including boils on his body. When I broke my ankle and got pneumonia, I was starting to wonder!
Tuesday night at a Bible study they talked about how Jesus is Lord over hell and that scripture in Psalm came to my mind "though I make my bed in hell you are there." So when all hell is breaking out around me and I feel like hell Jesus is Lord of it.(If I ascend up into heaven, you are there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, you are there. Psalm 139:8)
I'm glad God is in hell with me right now! There are torpedoes or missiles of grief that hit me once in a while. It's strange because I remember when I went through a divorce I did not want to remember my past, but as a widow I just want to be able to remember some good times. The Lord showed me that it’s like Egypt that the 7 years of famine was so bad/severe in all their lives that no one could remember the 7 years of plenty. Part of my issue was raising six teenagers and thinking I was going to get a honeymoon when they were gone with my husband. Going through raising teens was hell sometimes and I never got my honeymoon, that time alone with my spouse never came. Only God can heal that. I can't fix my own life or fix my heart. Many people think they can fix their lives, I know I can't. (but seven years of famine will follow them. Then all the abundance in Egypt will be forgotten, and the famine will ravage the land. Genesis 31:40)
Jesus said to pray, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as in heaven." There is perfect love, joy and peace in heaven. I had a dream that I died about a year after my husband passed away and I remember floating towards that love, joy and peace. It’s not the same as what the world gives us. (Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27)
Jesus understood what widows/single moms go through his mother was widowed and he asked John to help her.
Sometimes we don’t see God’s grace in a situation, because we want our loved one. The first thing I thought about when I lost my husband Mike is how he was able to breathe freely in heaven. Because of my husband's chronic asthma, he never breathed a free day of air in his life without using an asthma inhaler. We take even breathing for granted.
I listened to Christian singer Tammy Trent's testimony on how she had a hard time breathing when she lost her husband who was her high school sweet heart and many times, I have felt like I was suffocating, one time when I was singing at church. I started suffocating and I thought of that scripture, "Let everything that hath breath praise the Lord. Psalm 150:6" Now when I get like that, I just start thanking and praising the Lord in the midst of that torment.
This pretty much sums up what I'm going through in life as far as wanting to run away and escape life hassels: I've thought about just moving out of town and changing my identity...LOL: I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest--I would flee far away and stay in the desert; Selah. Psalm 55:6-7
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