Broken glass are issues in our life or other's lives. One of the current dysfunctions of the single population is that ratio of men to women creates this jealousy among single women. In God’s order, God wanted the older (spiritual) women to teach the younger women how to love their husband and love their children.
Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, Titus 2:4
I went through this same jealousy for thirty years with my sister and when our mother passed away she told me that she did not feel that I deserved any of my mother’s estate, because I had a good husband and she was widowed and her children were poor. I got my sister to work through her jealousy issues with me in being the baby of the family. All I wanted was some jewelry of my mothers and a sewing machine.
I find it is a little more difficult to work with many single women through their jealousy issues. Some women I have met their spouse actually ran off with their best friend so that damaged their relationship with other women.
What happens is what I experienced a lot in previous non-Christian women friendships where I could not trust a woman to use me to meet a guy and then I was history. I find that many women in the body of Christ overcome this and I have found my greatest allies in women. When I was going through a divorce I had a woman who worked with me in the same office and she had a lot of wisdom in helping through that troubled time. She had lost a five-year old sister to leukemia so at 10 years old she had to take over a lot for her mother going through that grief so she was 10 going on 30 years old. I found she was a resource of wisdom. Right before my husband passed away, I had a Christian assistant at work and with her marriage of around 35-years, and I found she was always an encouragement in the Lord every day. When my husband passed away there was a widow at work who lost her husband a year before and she said I could call her right away and talk to her.
I’ve always respected James Dobson’s ministry and I listened to him a while back when I first was married how women used to can fruits and vegetables, roll up their sleeves on the farm, and share their burdens with other women. Now part of the current crisis is that women want men to carry those loads when emotionally they are not capable of carrying them.
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Gal. 6:2
Women are the key to another women’s emotional health, but the enemy tries to get in and block this healing from a women’s life. Just like I saw my husband had many non-believing friends, but I never saw him really get close to any Christian man at church for the healing he needed. A lot of it was he could not relate to people in our church, because they had not lost a child and none of the men in our church were divorced at the time. He just never got the emotional support he needed, but he did get support from unbelievers as far as doing sporting type things. I always wanted my husband to join Promise Keepers and I think any Christian wife wants to see her husband be a stronger spiritual leader, but I just never saw this happen in the 15 years my husband walked with the Lord and he just came back to the Lord when I met him (he was baby Christian).
I never really saw him mature in Christ like the scripture talks about (Christ be formed in you), but one thing my husband did not fail at is love. Loving me and loving his family. The Bible says that “love never fails.” Being perfect is walking in love. When that which is in part is done away with than that which is perfect (love) and Jesus will be coming back.
My husband was an engineer and when I married him, I realized that emotionally he was not a hand-holder, but the good news is I did not need a lot of hand-holding in life. We were both raised in unaffectionate homes, where our parents buried their feelings and affections under the carpet. I always considered it a challenge to get my husband to hold my hand in public, but he was a very private man so he was not into public display of affection. It was rather difficult for me at times in public like at music concerts when I wanted more affection from him, because he just was not that way. But I find if you keep reaching out to a man, he will come around.
I heard the example a long time ago of the couple in the car (before they had bucket seats) and the woman who complained that they were so distance. The man said he never moved he was the driver, it was the woman who no longer was crazy about him. Well, I was always trying to think of ways to make our love life more romantic and I just never had a problem with my husband going along for that ride.
What man does not want a woman to fuss and romance him?
I was talking to a guy last night who lost his wife on the phone and he was telling me how his wife has such a sweet spirit. Not a mean spirited person. I’ve never heard anyone say, “I wish I was just a meaner person in life,” but I have heard people say that I wish I walked in more love. My mother said that after she had cancer of the gallbladder in that she was not more compassionate in the pain my dad went through with pancreatic cancer and going down to skin and bones.
I felt the same way in that I did not understand some of my husband’s behavior in losing his son. He moved his son’s baby crib from house to house for 23 years that he lost to SIDS. I thought he needed to go for more counseling, I saw a big hole in his heart. C.S. Lewis says that losing his wife was like having his arm amputated and a stub there to remind him of that. I’ve heard of widows just closing the door to a room and leaving it the same for 25 years. I’ve also spoken to many widows that the more years go by that it actually gets more difficult without their spouse, same with men who lost their wife. Part of that is understand grief and especially in sudden death that if I stab myself in my hand, many times the pain defers to my shoulder because my hand cannot stand the intense pain all at once. Many times the pain is deferred over a period of times so we can emotionally handle the pain. That is what this current world does not understand that mourning can last for several years. I’ve even have people tell me that they were in the department store and just a shirt reminded them of their dad and they burst into tears even ten years later.
People just don’t understand this unless they have been through it. My former pastor was not very empathetic until he lost his dad this last year and he said that he now has an appreciation for those with loss.
The “best” advice I can give any woman is to guard the words of her mouth, because a wise woman builds a good relationship with her words (same with a man). The tongue of the wise brings healing, but a person with a critical spirit will cut and pierce a person’s heart.
We had a good relationship, because we did not usually speak unkind words to each other in 15 years. It was not perfect, but it was perfect as far as walking in love and keeping unkind words to a minimal.
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1 and By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; Proverbs 24:3
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12
Walking on Broken Glass:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS-vGDbb70w&feature=related
Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, Titus 2:4
I went through this same jealousy for thirty years with my sister and when our mother passed away she told me that she did not feel that I deserved any of my mother’s estate, because I had a good husband and she was widowed and her children were poor. I got my sister to work through her jealousy issues with me in being the baby of the family. All I wanted was some jewelry of my mothers and a sewing machine.
I find it is a little more difficult to work with many single women through their jealousy issues. Some women I have met their spouse actually ran off with their best friend so that damaged their relationship with other women.
What happens is what I experienced a lot in previous non-Christian women friendships where I could not trust a woman to use me to meet a guy and then I was history. I find that many women in the body of Christ overcome this and I have found my greatest allies in women. When I was going through a divorce I had a woman who worked with me in the same office and she had a lot of wisdom in helping through that troubled time. She had lost a five-year old sister to leukemia so at 10 years old she had to take over a lot for her mother going through that grief so she was 10 going on 30 years old. I found she was a resource of wisdom. Right before my husband passed away, I had a Christian assistant at work and with her marriage of around 35-years, and I found she was always an encouragement in the Lord every day. When my husband passed away there was a widow at work who lost her husband a year before and she said I could call her right away and talk to her.
I’ve always respected James Dobson’s ministry and I listened to him a while back when I first was married how women used to can fruits and vegetables, roll up their sleeves on the farm, and share their burdens with other women. Now part of the current crisis is that women want men to carry those loads when emotionally they are not capable of carrying them.
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Gal. 6:2
Women are the key to another women’s emotional health, but the enemy tries to get in and block this healing from a women’s life. Just like I saw my husband had many non-believing friends, but I never saw him really get close to any Christian man at church for the healing he needed. A lot of it was he could not relate to people in our church, because they had not lost a child and none of the men in our church were divorced at the time. He just never got the emotional support he needed, but he did get support from unbelievers as far as doing sporting type things. I always wanted my husband to join Promise Keepers and I think any Christian wife wants to see her husband be a stronger spiritual leader, but I just never saw this happen in the 15 years my husband walked with the Lord and he just came back to the Lord when I met him (he was baby Christian).
I never really saw him mature in Christ like the scripture talks about (Christ be formed in you), but one thing my husband did not fail at is love. Loving me and loving his family. The Bible says that “love never fails.” Being perfect is walking in love. When that which is in part is done away with than that which is perfect (love) and Jesus will be coming back.
My husband was an engineer and when I married him, I realized that emotionally he was not a hand-holder, but the good news is I did not need a lot of hand-holding in life. We were both raised in unaffectionate homes, where our parents buried their feelings and affections under the carpet. I always considered it a challenge to get my husband to hold my hand in public, but he was a very private man so he was not into public display of affection. It was rather difficult for me at times in public like at music concerts when I wanted more affection from him, because he just was not that way. But I find if you keep reaching out to a man, he will come around.
I heard the example a long time ago of the couple in the car (before they had bucket seats) and the woman who complained that they were so distance. The man said he never moved he was the driver, it was the woman who no longer was crazy about him. Well, I was always trying to think of ways to make our love life more romantic and I just never had a problem with my husband going along for that ride.
What man does not want a woman to fuss and romance him?
I was talking to a guy last night who lost his wife on the phone and he was telling me how his wife has such a sweet spirit. Not a mean spirited person. I’ve never heard anyone say, “I wish I was just a meaner person in life,” but I have heard people say that I wish I walked in more love. My mother said that after she had cancer of the gallbladder in that she was not more compassionate in the pain my dad went through with pancreatic cancer and going down to skin and bones.
I felt the same way in that I did not understand some of my husband’s behavior in losing his son. He moved his son’s baby crib from house to house for 23 years that he lost to SIDS. I thought he needed to go for more counseling, I saw a big hole in his heart. C.S. Lewis says that losing his wife was like having his arm amputated and a stub there to remind him of that. I’ve heard of widows just closing the door to a room and leaving it the same for 25 years. I’ve also spoken to many widows that the more years go by that it actually gets more difficult without their spouse, same with men who lost their wife. Part of that is understand grief and especially in sudden death that if I stab myself in my hand, many times the pain defers to my shoulder because my hand cannot stand the intense pain all at once. Many times the pain is deferred over a period of times so we can emotionally handle the pain. That is what this current world does not understand that mourning can last for several years. I’ve even have people tell me that they were in the department store and just a shirt reminded them of their dad and they burst into tears even ten years later.
People just don’t understand this unless they have been through it. My former pastor was not very empathetic until he lost his dad this last year and he said that he now has an appreciation for those with loss.
The “best” advice I can give any woman is to guard the words of her mouth, because a wise woman builds a good relationship with her words (same with a man). The tongue of the wise brings healing, but a person with a critical spirit will cut and pierce a person’s heart.
We had a good relationship, because we did not usually speak unkind words to each other in 15 years. It was not perfect, but it was perfect as far as walking in love and keeping unkind words to a minimal.
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1 and By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; Proverbs 24:3
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12
Walking on Broken Glass:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS-vGDbb70w&feature=related
No comments:
Post a Comment