I was a young teen during the hippie peace movement. I am posting one
of my pictures when I was 19 years old. What I'm blogging about is how I
find peace of mind in life. I was a little "out there"
when I dated my first boyfriend as far as he told my dad he wanted to
marry me and he was going to support me by writing poetry and music. I
was not quite as far out there as the Grateful Dead Heads!
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18, Hebrews 12:14
One of the things I did when I came out of a divorce is to pray that
God would give me a person who loved me as much as I loved him. I seem
to get in relationships too much with family and friends where I was the
one that seemed to call them up for lunch to get together, and it did
not seem like I was ever on a two-way highway with people. I always felt
in my heart in my marriage that my husband loved me just as much as I
loved him so I got my prayer request.
The way I overcame the
bitterness of going through divorce and rejection was to write it all
down in a journal format. Another woman I worked with at the time I was
going through a divorce told me she did that. So, when I met my husband
Mike, I gave him my journal. That way I never had to talk about my past
or about my ex. He was not ever the subject of any conversation and it
was great.
We prayed for our exes on a regular basis because we
had children with them so we prayed for their success. We did not want
to see them fail because of our children. I had a more difficult time
dealing with other relatives that were upset with them. My relatives
took it more personally than I did. Our praying for our ex---in a sense
was feeding our enemy because we prayed for their finances.
On
the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give
him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on
his head." Romans 12:20 Proverbs 25:22
I was out socializing
with a single’s group and a single divorced man shared a little bit
about his past and then he felt guilty for sharing what he shared.
Later, I explained to him to let God lead on how much of his testimony
to share. Usually, if I don’t know someone I just share that I’m
widowed, I find bringing up being divorced and something that happened
to me 23 years ago is not worth it. It’s so long ago in my mind after
moving successfully in a new relationship.
One thing that
helped me in being widowed and not getting to say goodbye to my husband
(a sudden death) was to write a letter of my victories and
disappointments to him and burn the letter. It was a custom of Indians
is what a person told me. I’ve met other people who have had sudden
death of a brother/sister, spouse, or a father/mother, and it just seems
there are issues that they never got their cards out of on the table.
They had the death of a relative and it was a negative relationship.
I suggest anyone that has that situation to write that letter and then
burn it. My husband went on a high note as far as in our relationship we
had worked out all our issues, but I still felt a need to write that
letter on the first anniversary of his death.
What I find in
life the way I live my life is to follow the peace of my spirit. I knew
when I was dating my husband he was the right person for me because a
person I dated before him I had trust issues with him, and I never had
much peace in the relationship. The difference between lust and love is
that love does not drive you to do things. Love is a gentleman. It’s not
that you “have to be with that person,” but that you enjoy their
presence daily. It’s very relaxing, not a pressure.
Many times
in life people have substituted infactuation and call it love. It got to
the day that I did not want to let my husband go. It’s like Ruth told
Naomi, I will cleave to you. I wanted to be with him every day, but it
was a “peaceful thing.”
But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to
leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where
you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.
Ruth 1:16
I met what I thought was a great guy a few months
ago, but something inside me said, “Don’t date him.” I could not bring
myself to call him back or go out with him and pursue the relationship.
That is good indication that there is a leading or a voice inside that
“something is not quite right.”
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philip 4:7
Later, the Lord revealed to me that the person’s motives were not the
best intention for me. At times, I tend to reason things out with my
head and not listen to my heart.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5
I have experienced quite a few problems with being widowed so I make
sure ahead of time that people know I don’t have a small fortune stashed
away with a large insurance policy. People get in relationships for the
wrong reasons. Jacob worked 14 years for Rachel and it says it was like
it was a single day. Jacob had that love. Same way with Boaz who
considered doing what was right and the best interests of Naomi and
Ruth.
So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they
seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. Genesis
29:20
When you have had such a jewel in life, I know for most
widows the enemy comes against us and it’s the same with men I’ve met
that had a good relationship that it’s impossible to replace someone so
stellar, but you have to think of it the way God thinks of it.
It’s not like my spouse was perfect. It’s that God’s love is perfect.
God is perfect love. It says what is impossible with men is possible
with God.
Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to
you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son." Genesis
18:14
One of the main scriptures I pray on a regular basis is
below, is to have a peace with God and please the Lord. I know I’m
“accepted” in the beloved, but most of it has to do with the thoughts
and attitudes of my heart. That I keep my heart open and my spirit open
to his word and his voice every day. I want my spirit in tune with God’s
spirit and my heart open to his love. Keep out any roots of bitterness
towards others in my life and walk in his love and forgiveness.
When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone's way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them. Proverbs 16:7
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged
sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and
marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
No comments:
Post a Comment