Peace and Love...From a Former Flower Child

I was a young teen during the hippie peace movement. I am posting one of my pictures when I was 19 years old. What I'm blogging about is how I find peace of mind in life. I was a little "out there" when I dated my first boyfriend as far as he told my dad he wanted to marry me and he was going to support me by writing poetry and music. I was not quite as far out there as the Grateful Dead Heads!

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18, Hebrews 12:14

One of the things I did when I came out of a divorce is to pray that God would give me a person who loved me as much as I loved him. I seem to get in relationships too much with family and friends where I was the one that seemed to call them up for lunch to get together, and it did not seem like I was ever on a two-way highway with people. I always felt in my heart in my marriage that my husband loved me just as much as I loved him so I got my prayer request.

The way I overcame the bitterness of going through divorce and rejection was to write it all down in a journal format. Another woman I worked with at the time I was going through a divorce told me she did that. So, when I met my husband Mike, I gave him my journal. That way I never had to talk about my past or about my ex. He was not ever the subject of any conversation and it was great.

We prayed for our exes on a regular basis because we had children with them so we prayed for their success. We did not want to see them fail because of our children. I had a more difficult time dealing with other relatives that were upset with them. My relatives took it more personally than I did. Our praying for our ex---in a sense was feeding our enemy because we prayed for their finances.

On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Romans 12:20 Proverbs 25:22

I was out socializing with a single’s group and a single divorced man shared a little bit about his past and then he felt guilty for sharing what he shared. Later, I explained to him to let God lead on how much of his testimony to share. Usually, if I don’t know someone I just share that I’m widowed, I find bringing up being divorced and something that happened to me 23 years ago is not worth it. It’s so long ago in my mind after moving successfully in a new relationship.

One thing that helped me in being widowed and not getting to say goodbye to my husband (a sudden death) was to write a letter of my victories and disappointments to him and burn the letter. It was a custom of Indians is what a person told me. I’ve met other people who have had sudden death of a brother/sister, spouse, or a father/mother, and it just seems there are issues that they never got their cards out of on the table. They had the death of a relative and it was a negative relationship.

I suggest anyone that has that situation to write that letter and then burn it. My husband went on a high note as far as in our relationship we had worked out all our issues, but I still felt a need to write that letter on the first anniversary of his death.

What I find in life the way I live my life is to follow the peace of my spirit. I knew when I was dating my husband he was the right person for me because a person I dated before him I had trust issues with him, and I never had much peace in the relationship. The difference between lust and love is that love does not drive you to do things. Love is a gentleman. It’s not that you “have to be with that person,” but that you enjoy their presence daily. It’s very relaxing, not a pressure.

Many times in life people have substituted infactuation and call it love. It got to the day that I did not want to let my husband go. It’s like Ruth told Naomi, I will cleave to you. I wanted to be with him every day, but it was a “peaceful thing.”

But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Ruth 1:16

I met what I thought was a great guy a few months ago, but something inside me said, “Don’t date him.” I could not bring myself to call him back or go out with him and pursue the relationship. That is good indication that there is a leading or a voice inside that “something is not quite right.”

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philip 4:7

Later, the Lord revealed to me that the person’s motives were not the best intention for me. At times, I tend to reason things out with my head and not listen to my heart.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5

I have experienced quite a few problems with being widowed so I make sure ahead of time that people know I don’t have a small fortune stashed away with a large insurance policy. People get in relationships for the wrong reasons. Jacob worked 14 years for Rachel and it says it was like it was a single day. Jacob had that love. Same way with Boaz who considered doing what was right and the best interests of Naomi and Ruth.

So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. Genesis 29:20

When you have had such a jewel in life, I know for most widows the enemy comes against us and it’s the same with men I’ve met that had a good relationship that it’s impossible to replace someone so stellar, but you have to think of it the way God thinks of it.

It’s not like my spouse was perfect. It’s that God’s love is perfect. God is perfect love. It says what is impossible with men is possible with God.

Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son." Genesis 18:14

One of the main scriptures I pray on a regular basis is below, is to have a peace with God and please the Lord. I know I’m “accepted” in the beloved, but most of it has to do with the thoughts and attitudes of my heart. That I keep my heart open and my spirit open to his word and his voice every day. I want my spirit in tune with God’s spirit and my heart open to his love. Keep out any roots of bitterness towards others in my life and walk in his love and forgiveness.

When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone's way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them. Proverbs 16:7

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12