Wise Counsel on Marriage

Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.  ~ Proverbs 12:15

I heard on a recent news report that in Kansas City, Kansas, they have decreased their city’s divorce rate by half, because the churches have older couples mentoring younger couples.  A minister said that church is too busy preaching on heaven, and they are not showing others how to have a successful marriage on earth. In premarital counseling, some couples decided not to get married, because they did not have enough going for them.  Divorced women have a higher poverty rate at 26% and they cost taxpayers billions in welfare benefits when they have children.

I heard someone give a person advise recently who was having a hard time landing a job that it’s not getting a job for “I,”  but when we interview, it’s what we have to offer to the job.  Not what the job can do for us.  Some people don’t do their research ahead of time so they can’t gripe about their working conditions.  Same way in a relationship, it’s not what we can get out of a relationship, it’s what we bring. 

Do we have joy in our lives and do we bring joy to others?  #1 I look for will a person bring joy, and can I give joy to this person.  I know in my relationship, it was not all fun and games, but my husband said I brought him joy in life, and I can say the same thing.  I’m praying for my second soul or “joy” mate.

Two years ago, I was going through several attacks on my life while I’m trying to move on successfully with another person and be happy.  When I broke my ankle, (first broken bone ever in my body) I heard this voice say, “You have not given fun over to me.”  I did not realize that fun could be an idol in life, and that I could be worshipping and serving fun so I said to God, “God you can have fun in my life.”  I lay it down on the altar and whatever fun I do in life– I commit it to you.  

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:5-6

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

That commitment has governed many of my decisions as far as how I lead my life that I don’t seek pleasure in life and I like to please a man.  Part of my “rest” in God is to keep fun on the altar each and every day and not let a love for pleasure rule my life.  We tend to think of idols as wood and stone, but idols can be many things in our life.  My fun is what I enjoy doing most in life.

Dear children, keep yourselves from idols. 1 John 5:21

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Col. 3:5

It is a daily commitment to present my body and mind to God, as far as living sacrifices tend to crawl off the altar.

Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.  Romans 6:13

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship. Romans 12:1

There is a difference between pleasure (happiness) and joy in a relationship that comes from God.

But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 1 Timothy 5:6

Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. James 5:4-5

treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—2 Timothy 3:4

Most of all, is I have this tendency to strive at times and Hebrews talks about striving to enter into God’s rest.  There are times that God just wants us to stand still and see the salvation of God, that is because than he gets the glory. Exodus 13:14, 2 Chronicles 20:17.  It’s hard to do when those Egyptians are nipping at my heels. Ephesians 6:13 tells us to stand with our armor against evil.  The Israelites had a lot problems with Philistines that bothered them.  I become like Martha many times and I get aggravated about many things in life with finances and home repairs and losing my companionship for each day.

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, Luke 10:41. 

When we allow God’s grace working in and through us – it really ceases us from the struggle and striving in life to get our needs met, and enter into God’s rest.  Then when we give an account of our lives, it’s those faithful words, “enter into the joy of the Lord.”

Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. Hebrews 4:1

His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.  Matthew 25:23

I think that God moves at a turtle pace in life.  But, then again I’m not sure if God moves at a turtle pace as far as Abraham’s 25 years to turn his hope into faith and Isaac’s 18 years for Rebecca to conceive, or it’s us he is waiting on to stand still and trust him.  It seems to be our human nature that we want to take credit for things and get self-glory, but in the long run, God gets the credit.  When Paul had an abundance of God’s revelation knowledge he had a thorn in the flesh to keep him from getting self-exalted.  Paul talked about laboring more than anyone, but he said it was the grace of God inside of him. 

or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 2 Cor. 12:7

God is a God who restores.  My sister taught me to do restoration of furniture as far as the sanding, filling in holes, varnishing and sanding again.  We are God’s project.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10

Restore our fortunes, Lord, like streams in the Negev. Psalm 126:4

Then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. Duet 30:3

After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.  Job 42:10