Overcoming Betrayal Issues

When a person dies, they no longer have any obligations in this world.  There was nothing that gave me more satisfaction is that I did not have to pay my husband’s debts in his name since there was not enough money to open up an estate and when credit card companies would call it was unsecured debt so when they would threaten about his credit score I would say, “I don’t think he is worried about his credit score where he is at.”  Neat thing about being dead is that we don’t have to worry about paying bills, fixing a car or our house. 

As far as I am concerned no one has to come to my funeral and everyone can spit on my grave too.  It’s because when I am dead who cares?  Well that is what it’s like to be crucified, dead and buried with Christ.   The longer I become a Christian, the more I realize I am dead to this world.  The life I live now I live by the faith of the son of God.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. Romans 6:4-5

Now once in a while the old Mary wants to keep score (love keeps no score of wrongs) as far as one of those fiery darts got through my shield of faith of what someone did or said to me.  I find it disconcerting if the man I was sleeping with is on my firing squad in life instead of my cheerleading block, and I could relate to that movie a long time ago, “Sleeping With the Enemy” that Julia Roberts was the actress.

Jesus warned us that people in our family are going to betray us and that includes the family of God.  

Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. Matthew 10:21

There are two types of betrayal which seems to be abandonment and then when a person becomes the accuser.  Our persecution, betrayal, rejection, accusations by the enemy and mocking were laid on Jesus.  What helped me in going through abandonment and divorce is how low down can a person get that Jesus was betrayed for 30 pieces of silver- for money?  Seeing that the very close friend of Jesus – Judas who walked with him three years betrayed him helped me because this was my best friend I thought in life. 

But, we don’t know everything about Judas life.  It’s possible that maybe Judas’ parents raised him that money was the most important thing in life.  Maybe instead of having a father that sat down with him and spent time with him he just worked all the time and gave him material things and then after a while, material things were more important to him than relationships.  It’s the behavior that Judas learned in life and thought was acceptable and for some reason Jesus teachings did not rub off on Judas.

It’s what we place a high “value” on in life.  Problem with some people being rich is they place value on riches and become high minded.  Esau placed his value on a single bowl of stew over his birthright.

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 1 Timothy 6:17

See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Hebrews 12:16

If we were to assign a value to every person we are in contact with we have to realize that Jesus died for every person while they were yet sinners.  That includes the worst scumbag alive we are to treat kindly.   It was the philosophy of Mother Teresa that every person was Jesus to her.   That is placing a high value on a person that recognize what we do to others, we just treated Jesus like that.  We are repay good for evil, not evil for evil, and that is how we overcome it.  1 Peter 3:9

The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Romans 5:6

If we reject, mock, accuse and betray a friend or family member we are doing that to Jesus. Christ has redeemed us with a price.  He paid a high price for our sins.  As Christians, we are to give honor one to another recognizing the precious gifts that God has redeemed which is Christ in us the hope of glory.  

So them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27

you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Cor 6:20

You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. 1 Cor. 7:23

When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. Matthew 13:46  (The pearl of great price is how Jesus redeemed us)

If we value our marriage partner, and that person values us, than we will do whatever it takes to make that marriage work.  They will go to marriage counseling if that is what it takes, but some people bomb out after the first marriage counseling session, because the other person wants to put all the faults and blame on the other partner.  It takes two to Tango and it takes two to make a marriage work.  

Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3

If we disvalue the gift (the man or woman) that God gave us than we are more likely to bail out.  Over and over it talks about how “marriage is honorable in all” and to give honor one to another.  The lower value we place on a person and marriage, maybe related to a lower value a person feels about one own self, or how we were treated in the past.

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:2

Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4

Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other. 1 Thess 5:13

Many people who abandon and betray others, they usually have felt abandoned by their parents either as a child or a teen.  I’ve seen it nine times out of ten where there was a lack of bonding in childhood and it carries over to a lack of bonding in adulthood.

One of the things my parents never did was argue in front of my brother or I when we were growing up.  They went to bedroom and argued.  My husband and I did the same thing as far as discussed matters in a normal tone of voice behind closed doors.  We presented a united front to our six children.  I could not get that respect in a former marriage.   It’s not good to argue in front of children, it builds insecurity in them.  Jesus said a house divided against itself will not stand.

Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. Matthew 12:25