Life is a Roller Coaster Ride and Sometimes a Torture Chamber

I am a thrill seeker.  I love roller coasters.  Cedar Point Amusement Park has some great roller coasters.  I’ve never been on the Dragster roller coaster.  It was either broken or the lines were too long, but I love the Magnum roller coaster.  The first time I rode the Magnum was at night and when the roller coaster hesitated at the tip top, “I thought what am I doing on this ride.”  I was committed then because it was too late to get off the ride.  Once my stomach went in my throat as I went down that first hill in the dark, the thrill was so exhilarating, I was ready to go again.  I rode the Millennium roller coaster in the rain and it felt like needles hitting my eyes.

My children and I have also been to other theme parks such as King’s Island, Six Flags, State Fair, Universal Studios, Holiday World, MGM Studios and  Disney World.  My daughters liked the Mummy ride at Universal Studio and we were able to ride it about six times in a row since the line was not bad.   I have motion sickness problems with rides that are upside down or rock back and forth and I remember after one ride with the Vortex at King’s Island years ago I was very sick when my son rode it around ten times in a row.  Same when I was a child and went to Riverside Park and road the Bullet with my brother.  I vomited right inside the cage of the Bullet as I was suspended in the air!   I believe the more I screamed and vomited the longer the guy operating the Bullet ride kept me suspended upside down.  When I think about it that amusement park operator reminds me of the devil….LOL!

I enjoyed the 436 feet bungy jump in New Zealand it was thrill of a lifetime to get over a fear.  I know diving off very high dives in town when I was 4-5 years old and the fear I overcame back then helped prepare me for the swan dive for the bungy jump.  I also road the Slingshot ride at Daytona Beach two years ago.  I’ve watched bungy jumping and I always said to myself, “I would love to bungy jump” and I finally did.

Now I can’t live on these thrilling feelings in my life.  Life is not made up of all euphoric feelings!

God is trying to bring us to the place like Psalm 1 that we are tree planted by living waters.  That we don’t walk by feelings, but by faith.

We live by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor. 5:7

We don’t get bent out of shape by the waters and the waves of life.  A palm tree bends with the winds and the waves.

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. Psalm 1:1-3

In being a woman and having many women friends one of the main things I see is that many women are ruled by their emotions.  If someone does not accept them or offends them that can ruin their day.  I learned a long time ago in working with difficult bosses who came into the office (sometimes I question if men don’t have some type of change of life symptoms since they sure act like it at times) but that person’s problems are not my problem.  I’m not going to let someone’s bad moods ruin my day.  Another one is negativity.  It reminds me of the cartoon Charlie Brown and the teacher that whines.  Feelings and goosebumps are nice but we can’t be ruled and controlled by feelings.  If we are we will be on a roller coaster ride in life.  Other people’s negativity, strife, rejection, jealousy, I’m constantly learning to “shake the dust off my feet.”   Part of it is praying for them and asking God to bless them. 

As a Christian I believe it is important to continue to build ourselves up on the word of God and prayer.  It amazes me how things leak out in my life and it’s a continual battle each day from the enemy trying to take the word of God out of my heart.  Jesus said to “give us this day our daily bread.”  He also said we are his disciples if we continue in his word.

If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels." Mark 8:38

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. John 15:7

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. John 8:31

If we continue in God’s word it is building our house upon that rock.

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. Matthew 7:24

Since I’ve been single again now for three years, I find Christian guys that I have a great conversation with.  Problem is I’m not physically attracted to them.  Then I have other guys I’m physically attracted to, but there is no connection where I enjoy a deep conversations with them.  My son said he wants a girl that is “hot” to him and a good conversationalist and I agree.  I’ll know when I’ve got the right guy because I will have both.   Marriage is like bungy jumping.  You have to have a comfortable harness (be comfortable around them) and then they match the bungy cord to your body type (physical attraction).  Then you trust in those two combinations and make the bungy jump (commitment for marriage).   Once you had a great bungy jump you are ready to go again.   Some people are too afraid to make the jump (the commitment) and some people got the bungy cord tangled up or their rip cord did not work coming up and had a bad experience!

I know many people get discouraged when they go to Christian single socials because of the lack of Christian men.  The Lord reminded me how Peter got discouraged when he went fishing and that Jesus knows where the fish are.  There are many other venues in life beside Christian socials.  God can lead you to the best venues to find a godly mate.

He said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. John 21:6

Besides my heavenly Father encouraged me that he does meet our needs according to what we see he meets our needs according to his riches in glory. 

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philipians 4:19

Many things in God’s word and a faith life do not make sense in the natural mind and the natural mind does not understand the things of God.  I’ve noticed the more I get into the word of God the more I move out of my natural mind into listening more in tune with the voice of my spirit.   The Bible says to lean not unto your own understanding.

But people who aren't spiritual can't receive these truths from God's Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can't understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means 1 Cor. 2:14

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6

I had a dream a few months ago about an evil man choking me and I was choking him back.  Then I dreamed the evil man put his finger in the middle of my forehead and was pressing on my forehead like a Chinese torture.  In my dream the evil man was winning at this Chinese torture method.

I know it was Satan and the constant tormenting thoughts he hits me with in losing my husband.  Unless you have been through the battle of grief in your life you will not understand the battles in your mind.  Whether it is a battle from the grief of a long-term marriage in divorce or death.   Sometimes I shake the dust off my feet when a person says something that discourages me, some days I manage to keep a positive attitude in the midst of a bad days and than other days I go to bed depressed.  Even if I go to bed depressed and crying I know the sun will be shining the next day and it’s another day and God’s mercies are new every morning and tomorrow will be a better day in my life.   Even though I lose a battle and get discouraged some days, I’m trusting for that victory like the horse Secretariat at the Belmont where I win 31 lengths ahead of my adversary at the end of my life.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philip 4:8

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:23

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

For me sometimes it’s like I’m in a torture chamber at times.  I heard a great sermon on the pressures we experience from the outside and then the pressures on the inside.  I got mad at my computer printer on Sunday since it would not work when I was trying to print off songs to get ready to lead worship for a single’s group.  The Lord reminded me that I saw that printer light flashing all week so I put myself in crisis mode when I could have fixed the problem earlier in the week.

As part of my ministry to couples I encourage them to take walks together and to go on vacations while they are healthy.  My husband had said that we needed to take walks together around the neighborhood and we never got around to it so whenever I see a couple walking around the neighborhood it bothers me.  I know that other widows go through this also.  The ones that said that there husband promised that they would travel together in retirement and then they never got to travel since they passed away before retirement.  I know a number of people who passed away even one or two years after their retirement so their retirement was short-lived.  I'm helping married couples go into the preventive mode (like fixing my printer) of not missing all the opportunities that life has to offer.  "Take time to smell the roses as a couple."

My other squeeze on the torture rack in life has been whenever I took a difficult college class.  A child would get sick and start vomiting when I needed to be studying for a test or some fun event would come up where I did not want to work on the class project!   I typically made A’s in most of my computer graphics class but when the Star Wars Convention came to town and my son got free tickets it was always around finals week and it was hard to pull off making A’s and have a social life.  I find there are usually trade-offs in life and sometimes a price to pay and usually the price to pay sometimes was attending my daughter’s volleyball games or fun events if I was trying to get through a college final.  That was a choice I made a long time ago as a teenager was to go into a full-time Christian evangelistic ministry instead of going to college like my dad wanted me to do early in my life.  I chose to put God’s work of the ministry first above a job career.  There is a promise in God’s word when we put spiritual things first is that we are laying up treasures in heaven.   I still struggle with that today on not letting my job and college come before God and the ministry and then I struggled with not letting my job and college come before my family.

I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields--and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. Mark 10:30

I know a person who drove from the westside of town to the Fishers area and did not go into a single Bible study because a couple of women were not smiling outside on the porch in the front yard.  We cannot let people govern our spiritual walk with the Lord.  Walking in love and forgiveness is an act of our will and not based on feeling or what a person deserves. I talk to a number of people who don’t go to church because they were offended at what someone did or say.  They are letting other people keep them out of the kingdom of God or moving forward in joy in their life.  Jesus said we are to forgive 77 times.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22

I’ve noticed a number of people with a lack of commitment in their life.  If a person does not show themselves faithful over a period of time to keep a job in the ups and downs than what makes you think they will be committed to a marriage?  There are various commitments and I know people who are not committed to anything.  They are not faithful to provide for their children or raise them, they bounce in and out of jobs, they are not faithful in church attendance and they are not faithful to keep their word.   You can’t depend on them for anything.  They are not dependable. When Jesus asked Peter “if you love me feed my sheep.”  I believe he was asking Peter can I depend on you?  Peter had denied the Lord three times after promising to go with him to the end and now Jesus is asking Peter can I depend on you?  

I’m rather a driven person when it comes to keeping my word and that is why when I have been needed at my job for a student orientation or needed at church to lead worship even when I was sick I come anyway and pray that God helps me do the best I can.  It’s because others are counting on me and many times there has been no one to cover for me.  I believe it’s the same way with God.  He wants to know if he can count on us to do his will.   I had a manager in the past at a prestigious law firm when I was working as a word processor that would not give me a raise because she did not feel I was working hard enough.  She made a comment to me, “It’s not like we can’t replace you.”  I ended up moving to Indiana soon and I was exonerated that the firm could not find anyone to replace me on that job.  I know it took them many months to find someone who was willing to work downtown at night.   Jesus had invested a lot in Peter and no one could cover the ministry that Peter had to do.

For God, who was at work in the ministry of Peter as an apostle to the Jews, was also at work in my ministry as an apostle to the Gentiles. Galatians 2:8

We each need to see how important our place is in the body of Christ.  When there are holes in the wall that God wants to use us to plug those holes.

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 1 Cor. 12:21-26

I Shall Not Be Moved.

Jesus is my Savior, I shall not be moved;
In His love and favor, I shall not be moved,
Just like a tree that's planted by the waters,
Lord, I shall not be moved.

Chorus
I shall not be, I shall not be moved;
I shall not be, I shall not be moved;
Just like a tree that's planted by the waters,
Lord, I shall not be moved.

In my Christ abiding, I shall not be moved;
In His love I'm hiding, I shall not be moved,
Just like a tree that's planted by the waters,
Lord, I shall not be moved.

If I trust Him ever, I shall not be moved;
He will fail me never, I shall not be moved,
Just like a tree that's planted by the waters,
Lord, I shall not be moved.

On His word I'm feeding, I shall not be moved;
He's the One that's leading, I shall not be moved,
Just like a tree that's planted by the waters,
Lord, I shall not be moved.