Fly By the Seat Of Our Pants or a Purpose Driven Life?

There are times, I one of those “fly by the seat of her pants girls.”  Decide a course of action as you go along, using your own initiative and perceptions rather than a pre-determined plan or mechanical aids.  Then there are weeks I don’t wander aimlessly without a purpose from single’s social event to the next single’s social event and plan on being like that for twenty years.  I have a purpose.  My purpose is to obtain more friends, minister to those who God wants me to minister to, recruit more boating friends for fun, and find the second love of my life.  It’s because I’m not called to be a eunuch and I have not renounced marriage.  When Jesus said that if anyone divorces their wife except unfaithfulness and marries another he commits adultery, the disciples said that it was better to stay single because of his statement.  Than Jesus talked about eunuchs and those staying single for the cause of Christ.  

For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

I’m coming from a fully satisfying Christian marriage of over 14 years so I’m speaking from a healthy prospective.  Scriptures I refer to in the Bible is that younger widows (or divorced women) should marry because they would not be able to keep a vow of celibacy to God and I can marry anyone I wish who is in the Lord.   I’ve not made a vow of celibacy to the Lord as a widow.

As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. v.14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. 1 Timothy 5:11

A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 1 Cor. 7:39

My husband and I had a date night usually every weekend and our children were old enough to help out when we married or we asked relatives so we developed a close relationship even though we were raising six little children together.  I find now I need my “date” night on a weekend as far as an activity, or it becomes discouraging for me.  All ministers should have some hobby like golf to unwind in life and I find I do best to at least have a fun activity one time during the weekend from work and it’s usually on Saturday night.  I can get too serious because I’ve not unwound.  It is “washing our feet” from the world as far as being able to unwind that is spiritually with church on Sunday and mentally with a leisure activity.

It took about six months after my husband’s heart attack where I started coming out of a grief-stricken state.  That was about the time I did not wake up every morning pinching myself hoping my husband’s death was a bad dream.

heartbroken, broken, crushed, devastated, overwhelmed, despairing, keenly distressed, sorrowing, afflicted, desolate, agonized, sorrowful, wretched, inconsolable, woebegone, brokenhearted, i.e. the Queen was grief-stricken over his death.

When I came out of the state, my physical drive did not “cease to exist.”  So as a single female Christian in trying to please the Lord, I’ve made some steps to do what God wants me to do to endure the race being single.  The first is offering my body as a living sacrifice each day and living sacrifices crawl off the altar.

I beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.  Rom. 12:1

Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. Roman 6:13

Checking out online dating sites if a guy is 20 years old and emails me or flirts with me, I ignore it.  When I see a good looking Christian man who is 35 years old and wants to take me out, it’s like the movie Vacation where Chevy Chase sees Christie Brinkley in slow motion….Oh….yeah…..Oh….yeah….

One fundamental difference is a person in their 20’s and 30’s are typically coming out of a microwave society.  It is instant everything.   Paul in the Bible was dealing with the city of Corinth which men had a mistress and a wife.  In the same way, we are dealing with a present society of immorality.

But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 1 Cor. 7:2

I remember when my dad bought the first gigantic microwave and had so much fun cooking potatoes in it.  During the recent Christmas holiday, I did not have any microwave popcorn and my family wanted to watch a movie, I did have the old fashion kind of popcorn.  I got out the oil and put it in the pan on the stove and heated up the popcorn with a lid slowly until it was fully popped and then had to melt butter to put on it.   The popcorn still tastes good.  That is how I see a lasting relationship it does not start out like microwave popcorn.   I know most men in their 30’s see it the microwave way.   Same as a concert piano masterpiece.  A better piece starts out slow and the crescendo is about the middle of the piece (gradually becomes louder) and you can end on a high note or it will decline…ecrescendo.  My husband ended his life on a high note.  So love considers what is best for the other person and puts the other person’s needs above his/her own.  It is not an occasion for the flesh.

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don't use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13

My view of Christianity is a little different as far as being pro-actively involved in our society in non-Christian community involvement and social clubs.  I am currently a member of an organization of computer graphics professionals in my field and in a secular single’s social group.   I attend secular spousal loss groups.  My plan is to join a scuba diving club that travels and get involved in some type of mission work like Wheeler Mission. I look at it like proactive acne medication in getting rid of pimples, it’s just doing what God has called me to do in evangelism outreach and "rubbing shoulders with lost people."  I served seven years on the Staff Council as a representative of my school and one year in leadership at the university I work for.  I've been in several computer clubs and been in student government in my college classes as an adult seeking a degree late in life. My personality has not changed since I was 17 years old and went out on weekends witnessing on the streets for Jesus on a regular basis.

When I needed a job and my babies needed to eat, I applied to ten temporary job agencies to keep me busy when I moved here from Florida to Indiana, until I landed a permanent job.  One of those temporary jobs got me a permanent job at a hospital I had for 7 years.   I sent out around 50 resumes to obtain certain jobs.  To land a real big whale of a job I know people who go on five interviews and they require a background check.  The type of field I plan to get involved in requires a digital portfolio.  For my current job, I produced a printed portfolio.  I found if I wanted to rent a nice house, I had to be first in line to get the newspaper and call the homeowner to get the house to rent or I would be sleeping in my car.   That is how I bought my first house is my realtor found it on the market before it was listed.  

In the same way, I approach obtaining a good husband.  I don’t sit around on my hands waiting for apples to drop from the sky.  I actively dated as a young single Christian in my 20’s, actively dated when I was divorced at 35 years old, and I like staying active now in dating and taking advantage of every opportunity available.  I organized several social bowling clubs at the current university I work for students and staff and organized a bowling Christian social event about a year ago.  I had one student complain after he left that there were no women in the desert in Nevada where he works.  He left after obtaining a master’s degree in our school.  He never took advantage of the clubs on campus at IUPUI or the bowling club that I organized that had single females in it and then he complaining that he could not find a wife in his city.  He did not take advantage of every opportunity available.

I am a person who is not hard to please.  I’ve lived in a tent/camper with my son in a Christian evangelistic group for two years of my life.  Lived in a cheap hotel traveling with my husband in a ministry and a hand-to-mouth daily existence for food many times.  I remember going to sing at John Osteen’s church in Houston, Texas and all they had was stale spaghetti noodles to eat in their missionary houses, at the time my husband had gone on some missionary trips to India and we were raising support for another trip there.  We happened to have a check from the church for $1K at the time, but did not have a way to cash the check and they had not updated their supplies in the missionary homes.

Like Paul, I’ve learned to abase in life.  So I have gotten by on crumbs.  It’s not a preference for a life style now.  My father made me work for a car and I know in God’s kingdom there is faith and patience.  Patience is lacking with most people in this instant society of life of wanting everything on a silver platter.  Action is putting faith to work like exercise and many people don’t act on God’s word, because we are lazy.  I am  lazy at times, spiritually, mentally and with physical exercise.  I ask God daily to help me overcome laziness in my life.  I get lazy on Sunday mornings not wanting to get up and go to church, but I go when I don't feel like it.  I know some people go to Saturday night church and that solves the problem.   I listen to the Bible on CD on a regular basis and that helps with not falling asleep when I’m trying to read the Bible and the sand man comes faithfully each night to put me to sleep.

We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. Hebrews 6:12

What I grieve more than missing a man who loved and cared about me is the ability to give to a person.  Pouring out my love and affection on a person and I like to spoil a man.   I have the same nature as my heavenly Father and that nature is I’m a giver. I’m not looking at relationships strictly on what I can get.  Love is give and take and there are some times you do more giving.  God put His new heavenly nature in me since my spirit has been reborn. 

They are reborn--not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God. John 1:13

That new nature not only seeks to please my Heavenly Father, but it was pleasing to my husband.   It is more than natural human love as Christians, we have the God kind of love.  Human love fails.   Any other Christian woman I know that is walking in God’s love, they want to spoil their man too.   Marriage is how can I out do you in love.  I love to compete with a man.  Not in sports, but how can I compete in pleasing each other.  I love to give good gifts to my children, but it is limited to my income.  With God his resources are unlimited. That is how my heavenly Father is, he spoils his kids.  He lavishes gifts on us.

 

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  Matthew 7:11 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.  1 John 3:1

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

My husband chose me with five children, because he always wanted to have a large family.  Like my husband, God chooses us because He wanted to have a family.  He even planned on sending Jesus before he created man because he knew man was going to sin.  I don’t know why God wanted a family but He did.  Maybe it’s because he likes to build and create.  God wanted to “hang out” with man and walk and talk with him in the garden.  I enjoyed daily fellowship with my husband, my children, and my friends as much as possible. God in turns enjoys daily communion with us.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love Ephesians 1:4

God likes to hang out with us, but I know he does not hang out with complainers and whiners.  What makes me happy now in life is hanging out with people who are happy with themselves.  One of my daughters had a prophesy awhile back that God wanted to have fun with her.  Her fondest childhood memory is sledding in the snow with her dad in Jacksonville, Florida since it rarely snowed there.   It’s the same way with God,  He liked walking with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day in the garden.  God is wanting to hang out with his children and He enjoys it when we recieve His abundant life.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10

For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. 1 Peter 3:10
And do not grumble, as some of them did--and were killed by the destroying angel. 1 Cor. 10:10

I know Jesus loves me and I'm a weak but He lives inside of me and He is strong!

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus loves me! this I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong;
they are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me! loves me still,
'tho I'm very weak and ill,
that I might from sin be free,
bled and died upon the tree.

Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me! He who died
heaven's gate to open wide;
He will wash away my sin,
let His little child come in.

Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me! He will stay
close beside me all the way.
Thou hast bled and died for me,
I will henceforth live for Thee.

Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.