Most of us were raised with a warning by our parents about not getting into a car with a stranger. Hitch-hiking is not as popular as back when I was a teenager, because of the dangers. I did some hitch-hiking as a teenager by myself and so did some of my friends. One night, I was somewhat afraid when a man picked me up, and I just did not feel right about the encounter. It was a feeling that he wanted to do me harm. A relative told my dad he saw me hitch-hiking so I got a lecture that night from my father about the dangers of hitch-hiking and decided to quit doing it. I know a Christian man who hitch-hiked from Florida to California and back. He said the most difficult part of the road trip were some areas that were densely populated in Florida on his trip back.
When my brother was a child my mother said that one time he fell asleep with his dog in the nearby cornfield. My mother did not worry too much about my brother being gone for a long time. She found my brother by calling the dog (did not panic). When I was growing up, I would play for many hours in the woods nearby by house. Currently, in my yard, I don’t want my grandson to leave my eyesight for long. With all the child abductions it is a “sign of the times” that the days are becoming more and more evil. When my husband and I were looking at used houses to buy, I remember one was right off 10th Street. It had a side street in front of it, but it was still in eye sight of a street with heavy traffic. It had a sun deck on top of the house, but I just could not picture our teenage daughters sunning themselves in plain sight of strangers. I like the house I live at now because it is on a cul-de-sac.
Some people don't realize the world we live in compared to the world I grew up in, because there are gradual declines with increased crime. With a gradual decline we become de-sensitized to the coldness of our society and the coldness of some people in churches.
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. Matthew 24:12-13
In traveling to different resorts and hotels across the U.S., Bahamas, New Zealand and Australia, I’ve noticed hotel and resort workers that are very friendly/cordial and it makes you want to come back to stay there again. Then, I've had some customer service people who were rude and I don't want to go back. If the experience is positive than I usually will come back for a vacation at that hotel or resort. That is the same with restaurants and stores.
In visiting churches and single Bible studies and Christian or secular social groups, it is the same experience as far as people’s friendliness. If there is constant rudeness at a Christian social group or it is a “click” than I usually can’t drag any of my friends back to the social either.
There are a couple of experiences I had recently that are good examples by Christians on how to treat others. A recent experience was when I was out to eat with a couple of girl friends and after eating out Friday night we went to Starbucks to continue to talk since the restaurant was overcrowded and the waitress was pushing us to hurry up and leave. When we arrived at Starbucks, my friend set up her coat by three chairs. Two chairs were very comfortable chairs and the other was a hard chair. My friend set up herself to sit on the hard chair. I was very touched and honored by her that she put us at the nicer comfortable chairs and was willing to sit on the hard chair. In fact, I even thought to myself, I’m glad I get to sit on the comfortable chair. When her friend saw that she put herself in the hard chair, she made a comment that she was not going to “let her to do that” she was going to change her belongings to sit her at the nicer comfortable chair. My friend was preferring us above herself.
When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, 'Give this man your seat.' Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, 'Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. Luke 14:8
My second experience was the very next evening when I went to a single’s game social at a church. I was not sure I wanted to go because I knew I had a week vacation coming up and I thought about just staying home and getting ready for the vacation. I came one hour later than the start time and when I came every table was filled and all the singles were busy eating. I said Hi to different people, but no one invited me to come sit with them. I asked one of my friends, Michelle about sitting at her table, and I would have to go find a chair and she made a comment to me “Mary, if there is not room, we will make room for you.”
I did not think much about these two back to back experiences until I heard a message on honor after that weekend and then thought of these examples. I was just praying about some things in life and the Lord spoke to me that my two friends passed the test those evenings on what God wants from Christians in that in order to be first in the kingdom of God, we have to humble ourselves, put ourselves last, and we are to be friendly and treat others as we would want to be treated and accepted.
The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Matthew 23:11-12
Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." Mark 9:35
When I was pregnant with my third child, I rode the bus to downtown Indy to a temporary job at a lawfirm to save money on parking. No one would give up their seat even when I was nine months pregnant on the bus to let me sit down on the ride from downtown to where I lived, I had to stand. It’s a very similar experience I've seen in many single socials I've attended where there was a shortage of seats, that I noticed that even at my house parties, that a man would not have a common courtesy of giving up his seat for a woman. On my trip to Florida, my daughter offered her seat to a pregnant woman on the airport shuttle, and she also offered help in putting up a suit case for an elderly gentleman who was struggling to put it in the overhead bin on the plane. In a road rage society, it seems that many people will “step on people” at any cost.
I believe the churches that know how to win over visitors are the ones that are going to know how to win over the lost. One day I was visiting E91 single parent group and I was sitting in the lobby on a bench and started talking to a couple and it was their first visit ever to the church and they were asking me a number of questions about the services. I just grinned thinking about that I was their Welcome Center that day – they had not visited the visitor’s area first. God had me as the doorkeeper to the church and I was just a visitor myself. It’s sort of like being asked directions in a city where you are new to the city yourself. I did the best I can to present a good impression of friendliness to that couple. I believe God sets these types of encounters up for a reason.
Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people has entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2
If angels (strangers) came to my residence like Abraham or like Sodom and Gomorrah, I would not want to miss on the opportunity of a lifetime. For Abraham it was to give him the good news of the promise child they had been waiting 25 years to receive and Sarah would conceive within that year, for Sodom and Gomorrah, it was to see if ten righteous people lived in the city so it would not be destroyed. If a stranger came up to you at church, at a single’s social, on the street, what is your reaction? Rahab took in the spies of Israel and her life was spared. She did not turn the spies in to her people.
Unfortunately, in Sodom the men wanted to abuse/molest strangers. I know these types of experiences happen in prison to other men, but this was openly in a city. The strangers could not walk the streets of Sodom without being attacked and molested.
Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom--both young and old--surrounded the house. They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them." Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, "No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof." Get out of our way," they replied. And they said, "This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge! We'll treat you worse than them." They kept bringing pressure on Lot and moved forward to break down the door. But the two angels reached out, pulled Lot into the house, and bolted the door. Then they struck the men who were at the door of the house, young and old, with blindness so that they could not find the door Genesis 19:4-9
What Jesus said was top in God’s book:
He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27
God told David through Nathan the prophet that he would have given him the moon. David did not love his neighbor as himself, he was taking on the nature of Satan which was to kill and covet his neighbor’s wife:
Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! Thus says the Lord God of Israel: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave you your master's house and your master's wives into your keeping, and gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if that had been too little, I also would have given you much more! Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in His sight? You have killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword; you have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the people of Ammon.' 2 Samuel 12:7-9
Part of obtaining favor with others is helping strangers and meeting new people in our lives. If Joseph just would have "stayed on his cell block" in prison and not sought God for the interpretation of dreams, how would he have gotten out of jail? Joseph was bold to tell both men what their dreams meant even though one was a positive outcome and the other was a negative outcome.
Genesis 41:12 "And there was there with us a young man, an Hebrew, servant to the captain of the guard; and we told him, and he interpreted to us our dreams; to each man according to his dream he did interpret."
Jesus gave his disciples an example of being a good neighbor of the Samaritan who helped a man who was beat up and his money was stolen. The Jews did not associate with the Samaritans. Jesus also set the example for us of washing his disciple’s feet.
The Lord wants me to stand in the gap for other single mothers with sons who do not have strong role models. Standing in the gap for others in offering more help in prayer and any other assistance the Lord lies on our heart. There are big brother programs that more Christian men should consider in being a role model for young boys. It’s one community service type project that men can get involved in. My husband helped out in Boy Scouts even after his son was grown. There were single mothers who put their sons in Boy Scouts and my husband was involved in helping those boys.
The longer I walk with the Lord and the more I study His word the more His light shines in my heart and I realize how selfish I am. I was just listening to a testimony about a couple who should be enjoying their empty nest with each other who took in a single mother with five children. There are seasons in life that we may need to focus on healing and recovery and then after our gas tank is filled up that we reach out to do what God shows us to do to minister to our neighbors.
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Philip 2:3
When James and John asked Jesus if they could sit on the right hand and the left hand, Jesus asked them if they could drink the cup He was going to drink which was suffering. Jesus also corrected his disciples in their being critical about James and John for asking to sit on the right and left hand in glory.
"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said. "Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?" Mark 10:38 When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:41-45
When my brother was a child my mother said that one time he fell asleep with his dog in the nearby cornfield. My mother did not worry too much about my brother being gone for a long time. She found my brother by calling the dog (did not panic). When I was growing up, I would play for many hours in the woods nearby by house. Currently, in my yard, I don’t want my grandson to leave my eyesight for long. With all the child abductions it is a “sign of the times” that the days are becoming more and more evil. When my husband and I were looking at used houses to buy, I remember one was right off 10th Street. It had a side street in front of it, but it was still in eye sight of a street with heavy traffic. It had a sun deck on top of the house, but I just could not picture our teenage daughters sunning themselves in plain sight of strangers. I like the house I live at now because it is on a cul-de-sac.
Some people don't realize the world we live in compared to the world I grew up in, because there are gradual declines with increased crime. With a gradual decline we become de-sensitized to the coldness of our society and the coldness of some people in churches.
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. Matthew 24:12-13
In traveling to different resorts and hotels across the U.S., Bahamas, New Zealand and Australia, I’ve noticed hotel and resort workers that are very friendly/cordial and it makes you want to come back to stay there again. Then, I've had some customer service people who were rude and I don't want to go back. If the experience is positive than I usually will come back for a vacation at that hotel or resort. That is the same with restaurants and stores.
In visiting churches and single Bible studies and Christian or secular social groups, it is the same experience as far as people’s friendliness. If there is constant rudeness at a Christian social group or it is a “click” than I usually can’t drag any of my friends back to the social either.
There are a couple of experiences I had recently that are good examples by Christians on how to treat others. A recent experience was when I was out to eat with a couple of girl friends and after eating out Friday night we went to Starbucks to continue to talk since the restaurant was overcrowded and the waitress was pushing us to hurry up and leave. When we arrived at Starbucks, my friend set up her coat by three chairs. Two chairs were very comfortable chairs and the other was a hard chair. My friend set up herself to sit on the hard chair. I was very touched and honored by her that she put us at the nicer comfortable chairs and was willing to sit on the hard chair. In fact, I even thought to myself, I’m glad I get to sit on the comfortable chair. When her friend saw that she put herself in the hard chair, she made a comment that she was not going to “let her to do that” she was going to change her belongings to sit her at the nicer comfortable chair. My friend was preferring us above herself.
When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, 'Give this man your seat.' Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, 'Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. Luke 14:8
My second experience was the very next evening when I went to a single’s game social at a church. I was not sure I wanted to go because I knew I had a week vacation coming up and I thought about just staying home and getting ready for the vacation. I came one hour later than the start time and when I came every table was filled and all the singles were busy eating. I said Hi to different people, but no one invited me to come sit with them. I asked one of my friends, Michelle about sitting at her table, and I would have to go find a chair and she made a comment to me “Mary, if there is not room, we will make room for you.”
I did not think much about these two back to back experiences until I heard a message on honor after that weekend and then thought of these examples. I was just praying about some things in life and the Lord spoke to me that my two friends passed the test those evenings on what God wants from Christians in that in order to be first in the kingdom of God, we have to humble ourselves, put ourselves last, and we are to be friendly and treat others as we would want to be treated and accepted.
The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Matthew 23:11-12
Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." Mark 9:35
When I was pregnant with my third child, I rode the bus to downtown Indy to a temporary job at a lawfirm to save money on parking. No one would give up their seat even when I was nine months pregnant on the bus to let me sit down on the ride from downtown to where I lived, I had to stand. It’s a very similar experience I've seen in many single socials I've attended where there was a shortage of seats, that I noticed that even at my house parties, that a man would not have a common courtesy of giving up his seat for a woman. On my trip to Florida, my daughter offered her seat to a pregnant woman on the airport shuttle, and she also offered help in putting up a suit case for an elderly gentleman who was struggling to put it in the overhead bin on the plane. In a road rage society, it seems that many people will “step on people” at any cost.
I believe the churches that know how to win over visitors are the ones that are going to know how to win over the lost. One day I was visiting E91 single parent group and I was sitting in the lobby on a bench and started talking to a couple and it was their first visit ever to the church and they were asking me a number of questions about the services. I just grinned thinking about that I was their Welcome Center that day – they had not visited the visitor’s area first. God had me as the doorkeeper to the church and I was just a visitor myself. It’s sort of like being asked directions in a city where you are new to the city yourself. I did the best I can to present a good impression of friendliness to that couple. I believe God sets these types of encounters up for a reason.
Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people has entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2
If angels (strangers) came to my residence like Abraham or like Sodom and Gomorrah, I would not want to miss on the opportunity of a lifetime. For Abraham it was to give him the good news of the promise child they had been waiting 25 years to receive and Sarah would conceive within that year, for Sodom and Gomorrah, it was to see if ten righteous people lived in the city so it would not be destroyed. If a stranger came up to you at church, at a single’s social, on the street, what is your reaction? Rahab took in the spies of Israel and her life was spared. She did not turn the spies in to her people.
Unfortunately, in Sodom the men wanted to abuse/molest strangers. I know these types of experiences happen in prison to other men, but this was openly in a city. The strangers could not walk the streets of Sodom without being attacked and molested.
Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom--both young and old--surrounded the house. They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them." Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, "No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof." Get out of our way," they replied. And they said, "This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge! We'll treat you worse than them." They kept bringing pressure on Lot and moved forward to break down the door. But the two angels reached out, pulled Lot into the house, and bolted the door. Then they struck the men who were at the door of the house, young and old, with blindness so that they could not find the door Genesis 19:4-9
What Jesus said was top in God’s book:
He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27
God told David through Nathan the prophet that he would have given him the moon. David did not love his neighbor as himself, he was taking on the nature of Satan which was to kill and covet his neighbor’s wife:
Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! Thus says the Lord God of Israel: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave you your master's house and your master's wives into your keeping, and gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if that had been too little, I also would have given you much more! Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in His sight? You have killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword; you have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the people of Ammon.' 2 Samuel 12:7-9
Part of obtaining favor with others is helping strangers and meeting new people in our lives. If Joseph just would have "stayed on his cell block" in prison and not sought God for the interpretation of dreams, how would he have gotten out of jail? Joseph was bold to tell both men what their dreams meant even though one was a positive outcome and the other was a negative outcome.
Genesis 41:12 "And there was there with us a young man, an Hebrew, servant to the captain of the guard; and we told him, and he interpreted to us our dreams; to each man according to his dream he did interpret."
Jesus gave his disciples an example of being a good neighbor of the Samaritan who helped a man who was beat up and his money was stolen. The Jews did not associate with the Samaritans. Jesus also set the example for us of washing his disciple’s feet.
Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. John 13:12-17
I know some single mothers who seem to have a very hard time in controlling their children and I am praying for them. Many of these mothers don’t have a strong father image for their sons. I can remember the struggles I went through in raising a son without a father when he was 2-4 years old. It’s very difficult for single women with sons. Tony Dungy’s new book on Mentoring discusses how people get ahead because they walk on people, but character is not about winning, it’s about “how you win.” He talked about how young boys are looking for male mentors and role models.
The longer I walk with the Lord and the more I study His word the more His light shines in my heart and I realize how selfish I am. I was just listening to a testimony about a couple who should be enjoying their empty nest with each other who took in a single mother with five children. There are seasons in life that we may need to focus on healing and recovery and then after our gas tank is filled up that we reach out to do what God shows us to do to minister to our neighbors.
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Philip 2:3
When James and John asked Jesus if they could sit on the right hand and the left hand, Jesus asked them if they could drink the cup He was going to drink which was suffering. Jesus also corrected his disciples in their being critical about James and John for asking to sit on the right and left hand in glory.
"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said. "Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?" Mark 10:38 When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:41-45
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