Are you going to war in a court battle? As the Godfather would say, “Going to the mattresses?” Now that my children are grown, I’m finished with battles with an ex, but I still have financial battles in having one-income and other battles of life. So if you do go to court against an ex-spouse be prepared to battle like you are fighting against the gates of hell. A good idea is to put a piece of paper before God – like a court document or a bill and make it a prayer request. That is what the king did in the Bible when he got a negative letter: (Hezekiah received the letter from the messengers and read it. Then he went up to the temple of the Lord and spread it out before the Lord. And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord: Isaiah 37:14-15.) Walk into that court room or the court room of life for that matter and say: The Greater One is in me today. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. The Greater One is able to meet any challenge that comes against me today (1 John 4:4). Recognize that the Lord is in this battle of life with you in going to court, getting a job, paying your bills. (How could one man chase a thousand, or two put ten ! thousand to flight, unless their Rock had sold them, unless the Lord had given them up? Duet 32:30). There are times in life that I don’t see much Christianity or the truth. "I swear that the evidence that I shall give, shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God." Pilate was confused and he asked Jesus, “What is truth?” (John 18:38). The Roman Empire with Caesar in control and then Herod over Jerusalem was so corrupt by then it was “get your head out of your rear end.” I like what David said about going to war: (Of David. Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. Psalm 144:1). When I go-kart race with my Christian guy friends, it becomes more like bump cars to get ahead. It reminds me of Danica Patrick and if you are going to race with the big boys, be prepared to battle for the front. The same is true in going to court with an ex or serving on jury duty. I’ve not seen Christianity with people who stretch/fudge the truth or what the Bible referred to as “bearing false witness (testimony).” (Exodus 20:16, 23:1, Matthew 19:18, Proverbs 25:18). I believe the Lord said this for a reason: (Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown! into prison. Matthew 5:25).
Variety is the spice of life in dating or ministry for God. I like mixing variables in life. Life is like a mixing bowl. I’m always mixing ingredients in life to get what tastes good. (Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8). I always felt in the past that my sister and I limited our dating opportunities as Christians when it came to our choice in marriage partners. It's because we only dated a person in our church and did not check out other fishing ponds. That was not the case when I met my husband. I was like blood vessels in the Body of Christ in that I circulated around and carried the blood. Being an active witness for Christ to others in dating. When I placed that single's ad in a magazine, I witnessed to many men about having a relationship with Jesus Christ. Being a Christian is not trying to be good or attending church. I witnessed to close to 26 men on the phone through the single's ad. I’m going along with the flow in my life now which is the season that God puts me in. Many times as a single person it’s like eating spinach, because I don’t like spinach, but as Popeye the Sailor man, I’ve developed more spiritual muscles in life. When you are used to eating steak every night, you really don’t want hamburger, so I’ll eat vegetables for a while. Even in the natural world, I rarely eat hamburger meat anymore. With the Lord being our good shepherd, sometimes that table before our enemies is eating spinach. Not everything in life goes our way or ends up like we want it. (You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Psalm 23:5) I’ll sit down for lunch with my married couple friends, because I find they are not dealing with the same struggles as those of us who are single. Ministry to others is always something I’ve mixed up in my life. It started with street evangelism, children's ministry, teen's ministry at church and girl's prison, and now I've been ministering in the single's ministry with socials and leading worship. I'm going along with the flow in my life. The Lord is the good shepherd guiding our relationships, friendships and outreaches. Guiding my relationships after a death or divorce of a spouse. The Lord is guiding my life. Reminds me of that soap opera my mother used to watch called, “The Guiding Light.” Jesus is the Guiding Light. (The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23). What are the talents/gifts and flow that God is leading in our life and the next season, He will use our ministry gifts in?
What is our current focus in life? I believe there are healthy and unhealthy distractions in life. Some of my single girlfriends come boating, and they need that type of distraction in their life that helps them relax and get their mind off their problems. I know that some people like fishing or golfing as a distraction. Joyce Meyer said she takes bubble baths to help her relax after she ministers. These are what I call “healthy distractions” in keeping in step with the spirit of God in living a balanced Christian walk. Boating was my healthy distraction in the summer as far as my hobby. This winter, my distraction will be working out in the gym, because physical exercise does profits a little. Usually, as you exercise, you feel better about yourself so that is a good distraction/profit in life. (1 Tim. 4:8). When I met my husband, I was working out three times at the gym a week, going to college and raising four children. I focused primarily on my relationship with my children at that season in my life to fill up my time, but with my children being so young, I found they only brought a certain amount of fulfillment. After l-l/2 years, I started attending secular and Christian single socials and I hit the jackpot in meeting my husband through a single’s ad. Many people focus their lives around their children and it becomes difficult to remarry a husband/wife, because their world is focused around their children. Adam and Eve came first and then the children. Not the children first. I find it’s important that I focus on Jesus first, than next is a relationship with a man and then children. That is the order that God intended in life and how I kept my priorities straight when I was raising a blended family with my husband. If there was a sick child in the family, sometimes those priorities changed to meet the needs of that season, but I keep my life in that order. (Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2). With being widowed it has been different than a divorce as far as I found grief so devastating, I had no tolerance or patience for children or anyone in my life. I lost all ability to focus on anything for a while. I’ve spoken to other widows who said they experienced the same thing as far as patience with people was under attack. Next, I found my in-laws and children were going through grief, and I did not have anything to give to help them through their own grief process. It’s like two people totally drained of their resources trying to help each other. When you are on an airline in an emergency you put on your oxygen mask first before you put on the oxygen mask for your children. Same with scuba diving in rescuing a person. In going through a divorce or death of spouse, patience is a key, and it seems patience is constantly under attack (Behold, we count them happy which endure. You have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy. James 5:11). Patience to hold up under the affliction of losing a companion, having one income, losing your home, losing your root support system, and in working through the grief in handling in-laws, children and relatives. As I focus on God and do what he wants me to do, than I find that God takes care of my needs so I don’t have to worry about focusing on myself and trying to meet my own needs.
There is Something About Mary:” When I was growing up I had to longsuffer hearing those nursery rhymes, “Mary, Mary Quite Contrary How Does Your Garden Grow?” Or “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” I like the name Mary because there were three Mary’s in the Bible. The first Mary was Mary Magdalene who cried and washed Jesus feet with expensive alabaster ointment. Apparently it was a whole year’s wages she poured on Jesus feet. Jesus said “her sins are many were forgiven, because she loved much.” My past as a young teenager, it became very easy to go out in street evangelism and follow David Wilkerson's "The Cross and the Switchblade" because of my own life. It was a radical salvation experience. That does not mean I “arrived” as a Christian overnight because everyone still has to renew their minds to the Word of God and put off unlovely attitudes. Next, there is Mary who was the sister of Lazarus. When they entertained Jesus disciples whom I’m not sure if it was 16 people or the total 70 that were following him at that time, but she was doing it all by scratch with no microwaves or what I would call “easy bake oven” including killing and plucking chickens. Mary started listening to Jesus teachings so she aggravated Martha because she was not helping her. Many times I become like Martha especially now with all the responsibility of a house I have on my shoulders on my own, I want to run away in life. I find that those who “wait upon the Lord will renew their strength.” (Isaiah 40:31) Next, is Mary the mother of Jesus. Simeon warned Mary the mother of Jesus that a “sword would pierce her heart.” (Luke 2:35). He was talking about the sword of losing her son I believe. First Mary lost her husband Joseph, then she lost her son Jesus in one day by a horrible death. Crucifixion. Can you imagine watching your son die on the cross by crucifixion? That would be a lot of bitterness to watch how mean people were to Jesus with him being beat, kicked, mocked and my son being spit on. Mary was blessed above every woman on earth and yet her son died a horrible death. Jesus was both human and God. But Mary was at the foot of the cross and she heard those words, “Father forgive them they know not what they do.” I find those are words too I have prayed for others at times in my life that have hurt me. Mary and Jesus brothers were also in the upper room at the day of Pentecost to receive the infilling of the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:14). God is not a respecter of persons, but he is a respecter of faith and when the angel appeared to Mary to say the Holy Spirit would overshadow her and she would conceive of God, she said, “Be it unto me according to your word.” Next, when Jesus was at the wedding, when he turned the water into what it is said to be the “finest” wine, Mary said, “Do whatever he tells you to do.” Many people had their name changed in the Bible. Saul was changed to Paul. Jesus called James and John the name Boanerges, which means Sons of Thunder (Mark 3:17). I’ll keep the name Mary. When I first became a Christian I had a night dream where I was walking on an evil road and I became afraid. Then I heard someone say, “Mary” and all fear left. That is what I look for is my master’s voice. My master’s voice calms the waves and the seas. When Mary Magdalene was distressed trying to find where they laid the body of Jesus, Jesus called her name and although she did not recognize his physical appearance, she recognized the voice of Jesus. I’m always looking for the voice of God in my life every day. (Psalm 29:3) As has just been said: ("Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion." Hebrews 3:15, 3:7, 4:7 Psalm 95:7, Revelation 3:20)
I don’t expect others to understand what the death of a child or spouse is like until they have gone through it. Nor would I expect them to understand the challenge of raising step-children and hearing “You are not my mother/father” unless you have raised step-children. If you are an overcomer of cancer how can anyone else understand that battle you went to get there? That is the cross each of us carries in life and it's an individual cross (Luke 9:23). Your cross may be too large or too small for me, but Jesus had a man who helped him carry his cross and we are to help others carry their cross. (Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2). I met a married couple at a Bible study and the husband was in the prison ministry and he had a strong zeal/love for serving God and that is the type of man I want. One who is consumed with the zeal for the Lord (Roman 12:11, Psalm 69:9). Jesus when he overturned the money changer’s table he said that he was consumed with the zeal of the Lord. Jesus came in the flesh (2 John 1:7). I know how the physical realm affects the emotional and spiritual realm. I find the natural world can affect my spiritual outlook in life. My horizontal relationships affect my vertical relationship with God (Matthew 5:23). I keep hearing divorced people say how they got closer to God when they got a divorce. For widows, it’s usually the opposite. We are tempted to pull away from God due to the extreme hurt and bitterness of loss like Job’s wife. I had a husband where we served God together. The sermon at Indian Creek church was on a skit they did where Jesus gave a woman an 8 oz. coke, then he gave someone else a 16 oz. and someone else a 2 liter. She was jealous of the person’s larger coke bottle, when that is what Jesus wanted her to have. I’ll be happy with whatever crumbs from God’s table as far as that goes in whatever God “has for me.” The minister was talking about how he wanted a game station for Christmas as a child and he did not get it. I find that the physical and the spiritual are very intertwined in life. I can seek to meet those needs strictly on my own or through God. I can go out and buy me a larger coke bottle if I want. God said if I’m mad at him for allowing my husband to die young, than I’m “biting the hand that feeds me.” Like I used to get mad at my dog for growling when I came too close to his dog food bowl. God is my Jehovah-jireh, (or Yahweh-yireh, The Lord will provide). God promised he would meet all our needs according to his riches in glory and he understands what those needs are (Philip 4:19). God’s crumbs are going to be better than what the world has to offer. For one woman, the crumbs were healing for her daughter. For one woman, it was healing for her issue of blood in touching Jesus garment. Some of us have bleeding hearts from a death or divorce. I can relate to that song, “Reach out and touch the Lord as He goes by.” (They begged him to let the sick touch at least the fringe of his robe, and all who touched him were healed. Matthew 14:36 and Matthew 9:20) (He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs." Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table." Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour. Matthew 15:23-28
The perfect match made in heaven: I know a lot of divorced people who filed bankruptcy coming out of their marriage, but a worse bankruptcy in life is bankruptcy with God. Who cares what treasures you have on earth if you are not rich toward God? (Luke 12:21) What is a perfect match made in heaven? In my book, it could be a match spiritually or it will be on the comfort level. I’m going less and less with physical looks because I’m finding too much conceit when it comes to good looking guys. I had to deal with my husband’s high IQ and it was a thorn in my flesh on a continual basis as far as his trusting and leaning to his own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) There are some men that think they are so “cute” in themselves. They need to do a study on humbling themselves under the hand of God and letting God exhalt them in due time. He that is first will be last. In God’s book, it’s the person that humbles themselves that will get ahead in the kingdom of God. I’m not looking to heap up a bunch of trophies and rewards here on earth. You can keep your earthly treasures and I’m looking for my spiritual bank. Personality, inner spirit, loving qualities, character, sexual drive and appeal, and cooking abilities matter so much more I would hope? There are a “few” men I’ve met in the Christian circles where this does seem to matter over the physical, but not much. It’s interesting because it seems that men either really like blondes or they don’t. In my book, blondes still know how to have fun. As if hair color has anything to do with a hill of beans in life. The problem is it does it some people’s books. I think I’m going to start wearing a black or red wig once in a while. When I was in high school. All the guys wrote in my yearbook, to the girl with cool long blonde hair and I was wearing a wig since I fried my hair using an iron too much to make it straighter. Well you can pray for me as far as what type of guy do I like? Tall, dark, handsome, he bungy jumps out of the airplane on to the mountain and then ski boards down the mountain into a snow mobile. I watched all those James Bond movies with my mother and I seem to go for that type of guy. I am meeting a lot of guys bald or gray with an inner tube. Maybe the inner tube will come in handy in jumping out of those planes like Indiana Jones.
God did not make junk. Self-esteem is knowing that Jesus paid a high price in making us precious in his sight. Like the song we sing, “Jesus loves the little children, All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, All are precious in His sight...” When are we going to start treating others as precious, and when are we going to start treating ourself as precio...us? It makes me think of those figurines, “Precious Moments” or the movie, “Precious” which I could not watch for very long since it had abuse against an innocent girl from her father who lived in Harlem. For people with mental disabilities, God said we are to make allowances for each other (We who are strong ought to bear with the failings (quirks) of the weak and not to please ourselves. Romans 15:1). I lived with my husband’s compulsive behavior of waste in not leaving lights on in the house and leaving milk in the cereal bowls. I know it was due to his job as an estimator and not bidding too high or too low on his work projects. I had a friend I worked with that said her brother had an obsessive behavior over using several rolls of toilet paper a day. I have had to deal with low self-esteem issues in my past, but I found that over time I’ve come to understand that I have to value (respect) myself first, and then I can honor and value others. As a man thinketh so is he…we need to think of ourselves as precious in God’s sight (Proverbs 23:7). Joyce Meyer commented that the journalists think she has too high of a self-esteem, because she does not see herself as God’s worm crawling in the dust. I want my self-esteem built in who I am in God like David’s said, (For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall Psalm 18:29) or as Paul said, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philp 4:13). Sometimes I'm tempted to say things out of anger when a person offends me so I'm still overcoming this. Especially when a person makes a sarcastic remark. I find that there is always an element of truth so if a person puts me down even in a teasing way, I know they really believe what they are saying bad about me. That is when I pray that scripture into practice, "Forgive us our trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me." I have people who tease and they know how to tease in a funny way, but then I know people who hurt a person when they make fun of someone. They are being mean in a funny way. (You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 1 Cor. 7:23) and (Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Cor. 6:19-20.
Variety is the spice of life in dating or ministry for God. I like mixing variables in life. Life is like a mixing bowl. I’m always mixing ingredients in life to get what tastes good. (Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8). I always felt in the past that my sister and I limited our dating opportunities as Christians when it came to our choice in marriage partners. It's because we only dated a person in our church and did not check out other fishing ponds. That was not the case when I met my husband. I was like blood vessels in the Body of Christ in that I circulated around and carried the blood. Being an active witness for Christ to others in dating. When I placed that single's ad in a magazine, I witnessed to many men about having a relationship with Jesus Christ. Being a Christian is not trying to be good or attending church. I witnessed to close to 26 men on the phone through the single's ad. I’m going along with the flow in my life now which is the season that God puts me in. Many times as a single person it’s like eating spinach, because I don’t like spinach, but as Popeye the Sailor man, I’ve developed more spiritual muscles in life. When you are used to eating steak every night, you really don’t want hamburger, so I’ll eat vegetables for a while. Even in the natural world, I rarely eat hamburger meat anymore. With the Lord being our good shepherd, sometimes that table before our enemies is eating spinach. Not everything in life goes our way or ends up like we want it. (You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Psalm 23:5) I’ll sit down for lunch with my married couple friends, because I find they are not dealing with the same struggles as those of us who are single. Ministry to others is always something I’ve mixed up in my life. It started with street evangelism, children's ministry, teen's ministry at church and girl's prison, and now I've been ministering in the single's ministry with socials and leading worship. I'm going along with the flow in my life. The Lord is the good shepherd guiding our relationships, friendships and outreaches. Guiding my relationships after a death or divorce of a spouse. The Lord is guiding my life. Reminds me of that soap opera my mother used to watch called, “The Guiding Light.” Jesus is the Guiding Light. (The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23). What are the talents/gifts and flow that God is leading in our life and the next season, He will use our ministry gifts in?
What is our current focus in life? I believe there are healthy and unhealthy distractions in life. Some of my single girlfriends come boating, and they need that type of distraction in their life that helps them relax and get their mind off their problems. I know that some people like fishing or golfing as a distraction. Joyce Meyer said she takes bubble baths to help her relax after she ministers. These are what I call “healthy distractions” in keeping in step with the spirit of God in living a balanced Christian walk. Boating was my healthy distraction in the summer as far as my hobby. This winter, my distraction will be working out in the gym, because physical exercise does profits a little. Usually, as you exercise, you feel better about yourself so that is a good distraction/profit in life. (1 Tim. 4:8). When I met my husband, I was working out three times at the gym a week, going to college and raising four children. I focused primarily on my relationship with my children at that season in my life to fill up my time, but with my children being so young, I found they only brought a certain amount of fulfillment. After l-l/2 years, I started attending secular and Christian single socials and I hit the jackpot in meeting my husband through a single’s ad. Many people focus their lives around their children and it becomes difficult to remarry a husband/wife, because their world is focused around their children. Adam and Eve came first and then the children. Not the children first. I find it’s important that I focus on Jesus first, than next is a relationship with a man and then children. That is the order that God intended in life and how I kept my priorities straight when I was raising a blended family with my husband. If there was a sick child in the family, sometimes those priorities changed to meet the needs of that season, but I keep my life in that order. (Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2). With being widowed it has been different than a divorce as far as I found grief so devastating, I had no tolerance or patience for children or anyone in my life. I lost all ability to focus on anything for a while. I’ve spoken to other widows who said they experienced the same thing as far as patience with people was under attack. Next, I found my in-laws and children were going through grief, and I did not have anything to give to help them through their own grief process. It’s like two people totally drained of their resources trying to help each other. When you are on an airline in an emergency you put on your oxygen mask first before you put on the oxygen mask for your children. Same with scuba diving in rescuing a person. In going through a divorce or death of spouse, patience is a key, and it seems patience is constantly under attack (Behold, we count them happy which endure. You have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy. James 5:11). Patience to hold up under the affliction of losing a companion, having one income, losing your home, losing your root support system, and in working through the grief in handling in-laws, children and relatives. As I focus on God and do what he wants me to do, than I find that God takes care of my needs so I don’t have to worry about focusing on myself and trying to meet my own needs.
There is Something About Mary:” When I was growing up I had to longsuffer hearing those nursery rhymes, “Mary, Mary Quite Contrary How Does Your Garden Grow?” Or “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” I like the name Mary because there were three Mary’s in the Bible. The first Mary was Mary Magdalene who cried and washed Jesus feet with expensive alabaster ointment. Apparently it was a whole year’s wages she poured on Jesus feet. Jesus said “her sins are many were forgiven, because she loved much.” My past as a young teenager, it became very easy to go out in street evangelism and follow David Wilkerson's "The Cross and the Switchblade" because of my own life. It was a radical salvation experience. That does not mean I “arrived” as a Christian overnight because everyone still has to renew their minds to the Word of God and put off unlovely attitudes. Next, there is Mary who was the sister of Lazarus. When they entertained Jesus disciples whom I’m not sure if it was 16 people or the total 70 that were following him at that time, but she was doing it all by scratch with no microwaves or what I would call “easy bake oven” including killing and plucking chickens. Mary started listening to Jesus teachings so she aggravated Martha because she was not helping her. Many times I become like Martha especially now with all the responsibility of a house I have on my shoulders on my own, I want to run away in life. I find that those who “wait upon the Lord will renew their strength.” (Isaiah 40:31) Next, is Mary the mother of Jesus. Simeon warned Mary the mother of Jesus that a “sword would pierce her heart.” (Luke 2:35). He was talking about the sword of losing her son I believe. First Mary lost her husband Joseph, then she lost her son Jesus in one day by a horrible death. Crucifixion. Can you imagine watching your son die on the cross by crucifixion? That would be a lot of bitterness to watch how mean people were to Jesus with him being beat, kicked, mocked and my son being spit on. Mary was blessed above every woman on earth and yet her son died a horrible death. Jesus was both human and God. But Mary was at the foot of the cross and she heard those words, “Father forgive them they know not what they do.” I find those are words too I have prayed for others at times in my life that have hurt me. Mary and Jesus brothers were also in the upper room at the day of Pentecost to receive the infilling of the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:14). God is not a respecter of persons, but he is a respecter of faith and when the angel appeared to Mary to say the Holy Spirit would overshadow her and she would conceive of God, she said, “Be it unto me according to your word.” Next, when Jesus was at the wedding, when he turned the water into what it is said to be the “finest” wine, Mary said, “Do whatever he tells you to do.” Many people had their name changed in the Bible. Saul was changed to Paul. Jesus called James and John the name Boanerges, which means Sons of Thunder (Mark 3:17). I’ll keep the name Mary. When I first became a Christian I had a night dream where I was walking on an evil road and I became afraid. Then I heard someone say, “Mary” and all fear left. That is what I look for is my master’s voice. My master’s voice calms the waves and the seas. When Mary Magdalene was distressed trying to find where they laid the body of Jesus, Jesus called her name and although she did not recognize his physical appearance, she recognized the voice of Jesus. I’m always looking for the voice of God in my life every day. (Psalm 29:3) As has just been said: ("Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion." Hebrews 3:15, 3:7, 4:7 Psalm 95:7, Revelation 3:20)
I don’t expect others to understand what the death of a child or spouse is like until they have gone through it. Nor would I expect them to understand the challenge of raising step-children and hearing “You are not my mother/father” unless you have raised step-children. If you are an overcomer of cancer how can anyone else understand that battle you went to get there? That is the cross each of us carries in life and it's an individual cross (Luke 9:23). Your cross may be too large or too small for me, but Jesus had a man who helped him carry his cross and we are to help others carry their cross. (Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2). I met a married couple at a Bible study and the husband was in the prison ministry and he had a strong zeal/love for serving God and that is the type of man I want. One who is consumed with the zeal for the Lord (Roman 12:11, Psalm 69:9). Jesus when he overturned the money changer’s table he said that he was consumed with the zeal of the Lord. Jesus came in the flesh (2 John 1:7). I know how the physical realm affects the emotional and spiritual realm. I find the natural world can affect my spiritual outlook in life. My horizontal relationships affect my vertical relationship with God (Matthew 5:23). I keep hearing divorced people say how they got closer to God when they got a divorce. For widows, it’s usually the opposite. We are tempted to pull away from God due to the extreme hurt and bitterness of loss like Job’s wife. I had a husband where we served God together. The sermon at Indian Creek church was on a skit they did where Jesus gave a woman an 8 oz. coke, then he gave someone else a 16 oz. and someone else a 2 liter. She was jealous of the person’s larger coke bottle, when that is what Jesus wanted her to have. I’ll be happy with whatever crumbs from God’s table as far as that goes in whatever God “has for me.” The minister was talking about how he wanted a game station for Christmas as a child and he did not get it. I find that the physical and the spiritual are very intertwined in life. I can seek to meet those needs strictly on my own or through God. I can go out and buy me a larger coke bottle if I want. God said if I’m mad at him for allowing my husband to die young, than I’m “biting the hand that feeds me.” Like I used to get mad at my dog for growling when I came too close to his dog food bowl. God is my Jehovah-jireh, (or Yahweh-yireh, The Lord will provide). God promised he would meet all our needs according to his riches in glory and he understands what those needs are (Philip 4:19). God’s crumbs are going to be better than what the world has to offer. For one woman, the crumbs were healing for her daughter. For one woman, it was healing for her issue of blood in touching Jesus garment. Some of us have bleeding hearts from a death or divorce. I can relate to that song, “Reach out and touch the Lord as He goes by.” (They begged him to let the sick touch at least the fringe of his robe, and all who touched him were healed. Matthew 14:36 and Matthew 9:20) (He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs." Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table." Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour. Matthew 15:23-28
The perfect match made in heaven: I know a lot of divorced people who filed bankruptcy coming out of their marriage, but a worse bankruptcy in life is bankruptcy with God. Who cares what treasures you have on earth if you are not rich toward God? (Luke 12:21) What is a perfect match made in heaven? In my book, it could be a match spiritually or it will be on the comfort level. I’m going less and less with physical looks because I’m finding too much conceit when it comes to good looking guys. I had to deal with my husband’s high IQ and it was a thorn in my flesh on a continual basis as far as his trusting and leaning to his own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) There are some men that think they are so “cute” in themselves. They need to do a study on humbling themselves under the hand of God and letting God exhalt them in due time. He that is first will be last. In God’s book, it’s the person that humbles themselves that will get ahead in the kingdom of God. I’m not looking to heap up a bunch of trophies and rewards here on earth. You can keep your earthly treasures and I’m looking for my spiritual bank. Personality, inner spirit, loving qualities, character, sexual drive and appeal, and cooking abilities matter so much more I would hope? There are a “few” men I’ve met in the Christian circles where this does seem to matter over the physical, but not much. It’s interesting because it seems that men either really like blondes or they don’t. In my book, blondes still know how to have fun. As if hair color has anything to do with a hill of beans in life. The problem is it does it some people’s books. I think I’m going to start wearing a black or red wig once in a while. When I was in high school. All the guys wrote in my yearbook, to the girl with cool long blonde hair and I was wearing a wig since I fried my hair using an iron too much to make it straighter. Well you can pray for me as far as what type of guy do I like? Tall, dark, handsome, he bungy jumps out of the airplane on to the mountain and then ski boards down the mountain into a snow mobile. I watched all those James Bond movies with my mother and I seem to go for that type of guy. I am meeting a lot of guys bald or gray with an inner tube. Maybe the inner tube will come in handy in jumping out of those planes like Indiana Jones.
God did not make junk. Self-esteem is knowing that Jesus paid a high price in making us precious in his sight. Like the song we sing, “Jesus loves the little children, All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, All are precious in His sight...” When are we going to start treating others as precious, and when are we going to start treating ourself as precio...us? It makes me think of those figurines, “Precious Moments” or the movie, “Precious” which I could not watch for very long since it had abuse against an innocent girl from her father who lived in Harlem. For people with mental disabilities, God said we are to make allowances for each other (We who are strong ought to bear with the failings (quirks) of the weak and not to please ourselves. Romans 15:1). I lived with my husband’s compulsive behavior of waste in not leaving lights on in the house and leaving milk in the cereal bowls. I know it was due to his job as an estimator and not bidding too high or too low on his work projects. I had a friend I worked with that said her brother had an obsessive behavior over using several rolls of toilet paper a day. I have had to deal with low self-esteem issues in my past, but I found that over time I’ve come to understand that I have to value (respect) myself first, and then I can honor and value others. As a man thinketh so is he…we need to think of ourselves as precious in God’s sight (Proverbs 23:7). Joyce Meyer commented that the journalists think she has too high of a self-esteem, because she does not see herself as God’s worm crawling in the dust. I want my self-esteem built in who I am in God like David’s said, (For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall Psalm 18:29) or as Paul said, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philp 4:13). Sometimes I'm tempted to say things out of anger when a person offends me so I'm still overcoming this. Especially when a person makes a sarcastic remark. I find that there is always an element of truth so if a person puts me down even in a teasing way, I know they really believe what they are saying bad about me. That is when I pray that scripture into practice, "Forgive us our trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me." I have people who tease and they know how to tease in a funny way, but then I know people who hurt a person when they make fun of someone. They are being mean in a funny way. (You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 1 Cor. 7:23) and (Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Cor. 6:19-20.
Forgetting What’s Behind: The message last night at the Bible study was about forgetting things behind. We can choose to forget what is behind because it will hinder us from moving forward. That is the thing I deal with that divorced people hold on to their fears and hurts. For widows we think about the good past, but there is one thing I recognize that those good past memories don’t keep me warm at night. I’ve told that to people who condemned me about wanting to move on with my life when Mike passed away. (Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philip 3:13). I had shared previously that Lot’s wife looked back because she did not have faith that God would bring her into a better place. For us widowed, it’s more like Egypt as far as the famine is so great in losing our husband (the seven years of loss or however long it takes just to start feeling good about our lives) compared to the seven years of plenty in Egypt (the years with our husbands). Some widows have told me that their marriages are more like a dream now to them. We know that is not true. Just like you lose a child, that child was not a dream, but a precious person in your life, so we have lost our precious person. For me, it’s like I’ve lost Jesus in the flesh. My husband was Jesus to me because he walked most of the time in an unselfish love. The Bible has a commandment for husbands to love (Agape) their wives and for wives to respect their husbands. (Eph. 5:33) It was not hard to respect my husband, because of his love for me I could trust him. Just like I trust God’s word in my life now because I’ve had a very long relationship with the Lord built over time and I’ve seen his faithfulness in my life. (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28). It seem to be a combination of God keeps his promise, we fully believe he will keep his promise and then timing on keeping his promise. Many men/women of faith struggled with some of this. Abraham believed God he would keep his promise (being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. Romans 4:21). Did it take Abraham 25 years to turn his hope into faith for Sarah to conceive? It does say, “at the appointed time,” Genesis 18:14. There are several scripture studies about an“appointed times.” (Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son." Genesis 18:4). Did it take Isaac 18 years to turn his hope into faith for Rebecca to conceive? (Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1) and What does the Scripture say? "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness." (Romans 4:3, Genesis 15:6, Galatians 3:6, James 2:23, Romans 4:22). Several people in the Bible struggled in their faith in having children, John and Elizabeth, Hannah and Rachel. When John was visited by the angel he did not believe the angel’s report that his wife was going to conceive in old age so he could not talk for the whole time before she conceived until the baby was born. Can’t help but wonder if that was to keep his mouth shut from his unbelief so he did not hinder the purpose of God. (And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their proper time." Luke 1:20)
Have You Caught Your White Rabbit Yet? There can be a syndrome that I would call “chasing the white rabbit.” It’s a trap where many singles keep going from single event to single event searching for the right mate. It’s the same with chasing the right job. It’s not a question of finding the right job, it’s taking a job and making it your own. I always like jobs where I could use my computer skills to make the job more interesting or better. Maybe a man is that way to me as far as my project. How can I make the guy more interesting or better and I guarantee you when I get done with him he will definitely be new and improved. The one thing I appreciated about my husband is that he did not try to change me in any way. He let me “live and let live” when it came to being my own person and loving me just as I am. Love that song, “Just as I am.” I find God is the same way. There are some things that God may not particularly like what I’m doing and things could be a whole lot smoother in my life if I listen to his instruction, but God does not twist my arm to do it. He has given me a free will to follow his lead. I can follow a man’s lead if I can trust that he has my best interests in his heart and not his own selfish interests/agenda. I find it the same way with God. Sometimes I question God’s lead and what is going on with my life. When I went through a divorce, I noticed my dating experiences were similar to the movie, “Look Who is Talking.” The movie came out and I found that the character Mollie played by Kirstie Alley in trying to find a father for Mickey. I would meet men for lunch who seemed negative and critical and I knew they would constantly either nag and criticize me or my children. I was not only looking for only a good mate, but I was looking for a good step-father for my four daughters. I don’t need a full-time father image now, only a person who likes children. You don’t like the fishing ponds you are at? Change ponds. In fact, when I got upset about bitter men, the Lord told me to quit fishing in bitter ponds (James 3:11. ) Look for never married guys or those who lost their spouse. Nothing wrong with divorced guys if they are not holding a grudge. The problem with holding a grudge is what happened to Herodias. She got John the Baptist head on a platter. I know some ex-wives who would like to have their ex-husband’s head on a platter. (So Herodias nursed a grudge against John and wanted to kill him. But she was not able to, Mark 6:19) One of the ways I overcame bitterness when I was going through a divorce was to put that bitterness on Jesus. It helped to think about Judas and how he was very close to Jesus in being a disciple day after day, but Jesus could not trust him. It was a very similar for me because red flags started happening where I could not trust my spouse. It could be words that he said or what he was doing. God wants a marriage where love is at flood tide. If you remember the story of “Look Who is Talking,” she ends up with a guy friend that she worried was too flaky. Make sure that when you are dating there is a not a good choice under your nose. I happened to hit the jack pot with a single’s ad. I will try for that duplicate pot of gold! Dating and matchmaker people typically have high success rates because that is their mission is to match people. Like the mission of a university is teaching and a learning environment. I have my profile set to “not looking for sexual encounters.” I’m not playing church, like I am not playing games now in life. I'm playing for keeps.
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