Today, I woke up and I prayed, “God give me this day my dating beating.” I guess I have a different Bible translation like some churches I’ve attended. The Lord’s prayer is “Father give us today our daily bread.” My daily feeding. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young came out with a song, “Teach Your Children Well.” Our society is caught-up in behavior modification. I would think our current penal/prison system should show us that behavior modification has its drawbacks. We are back to Mary’s Roto-Rooter service and let’s get to the root of the problem.
My father was a harsh discipliner and he used the belt on me up until five years old. It put a wedge/wall in my heart against him all my childhood until I became a Christian at age 17 years old. Same thing happened to my sister. Both my sister and I harbored resentment against my dad for his harsh spanking. The saving grace in my life was my mother stepped in after he lost his temper and beat me severely for disobeying his order not to feed the dog’s grapes. Her correction was a lot gentler and since my father did not correct me anymore, I did not have to deal with more beatings in growing up. (Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3:21).
From age 5 years old, I rejected my father on every level of my life. My mother brought it up to me that when I left home, because I would only write letters home to her. When I telephoned I only spoke to my mother. I had an enmity against God in my life like that wall of separation between my dad and I. There was a time as a child I talked to God and attended church regularly, but as a teenager, I became bitter against God (For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God's laws, and it never will. Romans 8:7)
I would probably have a worse image of God in my life than I do if my mother had not stepped in to take over discipline. I still have to pray at times that God helps me understand he is a loving heavenly Father and he is not my problem. That correction from God is not with a 2x4 board or with a belt. (But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Hebrews 12:8).
I received unconditional love from my mother. I talk to countless Christian men and women that have these problems from their parents when it comes to their image of God. I run into the same harsh spirit like my dad with some Christians I meet. I have many talents and gifts I’ve received from God, but then I meet people that like to criticize me for one flaw. What is the problem? It possibly can stem from insecurity/low self esteem in their lives. Why do we want to pick apart people and focus on a person’s flaws? Why don’t we focus on each other’s strengths? It’s a very legalistic attitude. Where is grace? Several scriptures talk over and over about grace:
(Grace and peace to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Thess. 1:2, Romans 1:7; Philip 1:2, 2 Timothy 1:2; Ephesians 1:2; Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father's Son, will be with us in truth and love. 2 John 1:3)
Is it possible that nothing I do is right with some Christian people? Doesn’t that seem rather far-fetched? Why would a person focus only on the negative of a person? Well, one guess is maybe they had a critical father or mother. We tend to minister condemnation to others when we received condemnation or criticism in life. Jesus corrected the Pharisees about them not extended mercy to others. The Pharisees understood the Old Testament/Torah. They neglected justice, mercy and faithfulness.
(Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices--mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. Matt. 23:23)
Peter talked about dwelling with your wife according to knowledge. That is not dwelling with a spouse according to what treatment you think you should give them or the way your dad treated your mother, but according to their needs. We get ourselves in a trap of marrying a person that is a harsh discipliner or have a critical spirit like our father or mother.
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7
Same way with ministering to others. We minister to a person according to their needs. Not what we think they need. Job’s friends had “foot in the mouth" disease in giving him advice. They just sat with him for the first week, it’s when they opened their mouths they got into trouble.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:9
Some single people without children are quick to give advice on raising children when they don’t have any children. Then when they get children it’s a whole different ball game. My husband was excellent in straightening out my kids and I was excellent and seeing the flaws of his kids, but we both lacked insight on straightening out our own kids as teenagers. I was very patient with my own children because I remember how mean I was as a teenager. It’s because we are into behavior modification rather than it’s the heart and man’s free will that is the problem.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9
What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.'" v.11, But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' Matthew 15:18
When John the Baptist saw the Pharisees and the Sadducees coming to him, he said the “axe has to be laid to the root of the tree.” Notice it was the religious leaders he made a comment about their hearts.
(Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River, but when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. Matthew 3:10)
(Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Matthew 7:19)
There can be reasons why a person turns into a psychopath. I had a close girlfriend from first grade through seventh grade, but in seventh grade she started stealing my clothes, and then she lied that she did not take them. It was things like a head band came up missing on my desk at school and then she was wearing it. She borrowed a belt she said that she put back in my locker, but then it was not there, and she was wearing my belt in a few days. She said her mother bought the belt for her, but it had scratches on it like my belt. I called her mother and told her mother that I wanted my stuff back. She brought the stuff back to me the next day at school, and her mother said she did not want me hanging out with her. I said, “Fine I don’t need to hang out with a thief.” I forgave my friend and we hung out some in high school, but I noticed she used me to pick up boyfriends and once she got a boyfriend, I never saw her again. I have experienced that same behavior with Christian woman. Later, after she was married and divorced and remarried she told me that her problems stemmed from being adopted and that her mother was jealous of her relationship with her father. She believed this was why she was so messed up. She went through healing in her life from her past as an adult.
A girlfriend I had in junior high who was from a very wealthy family liked to constantly criticize me a lot. I tried to be friends with her, but I could not handle her constant tongue lashing. I found out later that her parents were verbally and physically abusive. I had suspicions of that when I spent the night over her house since she got in tremendous arguments with her mother.
There was a great poem I heard a long time ago:
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live. (Excerpted from the book CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE; ©1998 by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris, The poem "Children Learn What They Live"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sslUup8RENo&feature=related
My father was a harsh discipliner and he used the belt on me up until five years old. It put a wedge/wall in my heart against him all my childhood until I became a Christian at age 17 years old. Same thing happened to my sister. Both my sister and I harbored resentment against my dad for his harsh spanking. The saving grace in my life was my mother stepped in after he lost his temper and beat me severely for disobeying his order not to feed the dog’s grapes. Her correction was a lot gentler and since my father did not correct me anymore, I did not have to deal with more beatings in growing up. (Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3:21).
From age 5 years old, I rejected my father on every level of my life. My mother brought it up to me that when I left home, because I would only write letters home to her. When I telephoned I only spoke to my mother. I had an enmity against God in my life like that wall of separation between my dad and I. There was a time as a child I talked to God and attended church regularly, but as a teenager, I became bitter against God (For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God's laws, and it never will. Romans 8:7)
I would probably have a worse image of God in my life than I do if my mother had not stepped in to take over discipline. I still have to pray at times that God helps me understand he is a loving heavenly Father and he is not my problem. That correction from God is not with a 2x4 board or with a belt. (But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Hebrews 12:8).
I received unconditional love from my mother. I talk to countless Christian men and women that have these problems from their parents when it comes to their image of God. I run into the same harsh spirit like my dad with some Christians I meet. I have many talents and gifts I’ve received from God, but then I meet people that like to criticize me for one flaw. What is the problem? It possibly can stem from insecurity/low self esteem in their lives. Why do we want to pick apart people and focus on a person’s flaws? Why don’t we focus on each other’s strengths? It’s a very legalistic attitude. Where is grace? Several scriptures talk over and over about grace:
(Grace and peace to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Thess. 1:2, Romans 1:7; Philip 1:2, 2 Timothy 1:2; Ephesians 1:2; Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father's Son, will be with us in truth and love. 2 John 1:3)
Is it possible that nothing I do is right with some Christian people? Doesn’t that seem rather far-fetched? Why would a person focus only on the negative of a person? Well, one guess is maybe they had a critical father or mother. We tend to minister condemnation to others when we received condemnation or criticism in life. Jesus corrected the Pharisees about them not extended mercy to others. The Pharisees understood the Old Testament/Torah. They neglected justice, mercy and faithfulness.
(Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices--mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. Matt. 23:23)
Peter talked about dwelling with your wife according to knowledge. That is not dwelling with a spouse according to what treatment you think you should give them or the way your dad treated your mother, but according to their needs. We get ourselves in a trap of marrying a person that is a harsh discipliner or have a critical spirit like our father or mother.
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7
Same way with ministering to others. We minister to a person according to their needs. Not what we think they need. Job’s friends had “foot in the mouth" disease in giving him advice. They just sat with him for the first week, it’s when they opened their mouths they got into trouble.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:9
Some single people without children are quick to give advice on raising children when they don’t have any children. Then when they get children it’s a whole different ball game. My husband was excellent in straightening out my kids and I was excellent and seeing the flaws of his kids, but we both lacked insight on straightening out our own kids as teenagers. I was very patient with my own children because I remember how mean I was as a teenager. It’s because we are into behavior modification rather than it’s the heart and man’s free will that is the problem.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9
What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.'" v.11, But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' Matthew 15:18
When John the Baptist saw the Pharisees and the Sadducees coming to him, he said the “axe has to be laid to the root of the tree.” Notice it was the religious leaders he made a comment about their hearts.
(Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River, but when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. Matthew 3:10)
(Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Matthew 7:19)
There can be reasons why a person turns into a psychopath. I had a close girlfriend from first grade through seventh grade, but in seventh grade she started stealing my clothes, and then she lied that she did not take them. It was things like a head band came up missing on my desk at school and then she was wearing it. She borrowed a belt she said that she put back in my locker, but then it was not there, and she was wearing my belt in a few days. She said her mother bought the belt for her, but it had scratches on it like my belt. I called her mother and told her mother that I wanted my stuff back. She brought the stuff back to me the next day at school, and her mother said she did not want me hanging out with her. I said, “Fine I don’t need to hang out with a thief.” I forgave my friend and we hung out some in high school, but I noticed she used me to pick up boyfriends and once she got a boyfriend, I never saw her again. I have experienced that same behavior with Christian woman. Later, after she was married and divorced and remarried she told me that her problems stemmed from being adopted and that her mother was jealous of her relationship with her father. She believed this was why she was so messed up. She went through healing in her life from her past as an adult.
A girlfriend I had in junior high who was from a very wealthy family liked to constantly criticize me a lot. I tried to be friends with her, but I could not handle her constant tongue lashing. I found out later that her parents were verbally and physically abusive. I had suspicions of that when I spent the night over her house since she got in tremendous arguments with her mother.
There was a great poem I heard a long time ago:
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live. (Excerpted from the book CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE; ©1998 by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris, The poem "Children Learn What They Live"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sslUup8RENo&feature=related
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