I would say many singles need to get with the program of lowering expectations since it is taking them 50 years to meet a mate. Their expectations so far have not been low enough. Is that what Abraham did? Did Abraham not expect God to do what he had promised him? Are the promises of God not to be expected? It says that Abraham was fully assured/fully persuaded (had a full expectation when he got his promise child).
Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead--since he was about a hundred years old--and that Sarah's womb was also dead. yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform. Therefore it was also credited to him as righteousness. Romans 4:19-22
The promises of God are yeah and Amen. What does God say about a partner in life? If the promises of God are “yes” and a wife is a good thing and it’s not good that man should be alone than that is a definite yes from God!
For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. 2 Cor. 1:20
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18
So if God is not the problem as far as all his promises are yes and Amen than who is the problem? Us! Just a thought but choosing a mate seems to one of the top “things” since in Proverbs it’s called a good thing. It talks about God not withholding good things:
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Psalm 84:11
If the statement was true that God sends us a person when we least expect it, than I would have missed out on 15 wonderful years with the sweetest man I have ever met in my entire life on this planet. I placed an ad in single’s magazine, fully expecting to meet a nice Christian man. I did meet several nice guys through that single’s ad, and then I met some players. I was attracted to my husband’s smile when I first met him through a single’s ad at Crawford’s Bakery across from where I worked at Methodist Hospital. At the funeral most of the work vendors that came up to me said they noticed how my husband smiled all the time.
When I go buy a car I have a car salesman; when you buy a house you get a real estate agent. I like a professional to fix my boat, sometimes I need a tax accountant to help me with difficult taxes, I used an attorney to help with settling my husband’s and mother’s estate when they passed away. Do you think that maybe once in a while you can use a dating coach? Why in high school and college don’t we have more “life” practical classes on how to be successful in relationships? We need Relationship 101 classes for friends, family and our mates! Why do we leave our brains at home when it comes to chemistry/biology with a person?
I heard one dating comment from the secular scene is when a man is ready to get married they are like a taxi cab and the light is on, and they will take the first appealing thing that jumps in their cab. I just happened to jump in my husband’s cab at the right time with that magazine ad.
One reason my husband placed that ad is because his single’s group was very small at the Presbyterian church and he was not interested in anyone there, but also because he had two children and he did not meet very many single women with children. As a professional engineer, he had limited time to go through and screen women through single’s group because he was busy with his children. Same problem I had in raising four little girls and I was in college part time. I had limited time to go to single’s socials, especially since my ex-husband lived in Florida so I did not get many breaks to date from the children. I wanted a man that I could take my children with on dating.
That is what was so appealing about my husband is he wanted to take the children with from the start, because he had custody of his son. There were times we had the grandparents help out, but he never singled me out to myself, but he knew how to share me with the children. I meet so few men that know how to balance family and their mate. My marrying men in my past without children, was not a good idea because they became jealous of my children.
It’s a balancing act. It’s very difficult to marry someone without children unless they have a good understanding at the amount of time you will spend with your children. Single parents don’t usually make the best companions. I know because I’ve been a single parent off and on my adult life. It’s hard to put your mate above the children, and I found when I did that, it did not usually fare well for me. Many men who do not have a good relationship with their children, will not like it if you spend too much time with your kids. You want to be “equally yoked” if you are a single parent and spend time with children or grand-children, you have to find a person who understands the commitment to the children. You are marrying children, not just the spouse when you take on a blended family. So many never married singles are naïve to this.
When they see “God love never fails.” They don’t understand that love is very sacrificial. What did fare well is when I was more concerned about the household like Abigail to interceed for the household. The Bible talks about the Proverbs 31 and she considers the needs of the whole household where Nabal was being selfish. I found that many men just consider themselves in the relationship. The Proverbs 31 women had earnings. She was a working women. Either you work at home as a house keeper or you work a job:
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. Proverbs 31:15-16W
Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare. Proverbs 31:15
to be sensible and pure, to manage their households, to be kind, and to submit themselves to their husbands. Otherwise, the word of God may be discredited Titus 2:5
I will change this urban legend to---not trying so hard and take time to get to know the person. To what Yoda said on Star Wars, “Do, or Do Not, there is no try.” Look at the book of James and we see that Christianity is “doing/acting on God’s word.” I had to overcome my fear of a stalker to meet my spouse through a single’s ad. It was a courageous move outside myself, because I never had tried it before. It’s acting on our faith that gets results. By that time I screen 25 men, I was so tired of telling my story I could have punched a tape recorder. So maybe what people are saying “when you least expect it” is when you quit worrying about it and struggling to get it. We are to labor to enter into God’s rest. The rest is that he is able to fulfill promises in our life. Thanking God ahead of time for his provision and that our heavenly Father takes care of our needs.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philip 4:6
Let us labor therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. Hebrews 4:11
And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who disobeyed? Hebrews 3:18
So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Hebrews 4:9-10
The Good Samaritan did not pass by the man beaten in the ditch, but the Levite and the Priest passed him by. Luke 10:25-37. In today’s society that would be, “Sister Mary, we will pray for you.” If you have in your power to do good and you do it not, than you are sinning.
Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. James 4:17
Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. Proverbs 3:27
A lot of people sin when it comes to their mate, because they know what they are supposed to be doing in a relationship or how they are supposed to treat their wife or husband, but they don’t do it! They don’t speak and act kindly to their marriage partner and are not concerned to meet their needs.
Yoda:
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