"Allow the other person's feelings to come out. Do not discount the other person's feelings by saying, "You should not feel that way.´All feelings of anger, disgust, jealously, despair, etc. are human and need to be expressed. Bottled up feelings that are uncomfortable will only serve to make the problem worse as resentment and bitterness increase."
Many people were raised in a home where they were not allowed to share their feelings, that is a sign of weakness. In marriage seminars, they encourage the husband to repeat back what the wife is saying in an argument.
One of the things I've run into since I have been widowed is people who discount a person’s feelings. It happened to a friend of mine where after she lost her husband a woman said, "Oh I lost two co-worker friends I know what you are going through." She told me she wanted to leave work at that moment. It's because losing a co-worker is not like losing a husband that you slept with every night. It may be losing a close friend, but it does not affect the very core of your being in missing them every day. I won't pretend to know what it is like in missing a child since I've not lost a child.
She "discounted" her feelings. I find that there are many things that people discount in life. People discount the Bible, prayer, the gifts of the spirit, the importance of spirituality in life, the importance of marriage and an accountability partner, and the importance of fellowship.
The pastor of Indian Creek talked about being connected Sunday how even animals –birds travel in flocks, cattle travel in herds, bees travel in swarms, ants travel in a colony, etc. We can learn sometimes from the animal kingdom. As God's sheep we are to be in a herds, not be like wolves that gangs up on another sheep.
He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness. Hebrews 5:2
Many people were raised in a home where they were not allowed to share their feelings, that is a sign of weakness. In marriage seminars, they encourage the husband to repeat back what the wife is saying in an argument.
One of the things I've run into since I have been widowed is people who discount a person’s feelings. It happened to a friend of mine where after she lost her husband a woman said, "Oh I lost two co-worker friends I know what you are going through." She told me she wanted to leave work at that moment. It's because losing a co-worker is not like losing a husband that you slept with every night. It may be losing a close friend, but it does not affect the very core of your being in missing them every day. I won't pretend to know what it is like in missing a child since I've not lost a child.
She "discounted" her feelings. I find that there are many things that people discount in life. People discount the Bible, prayer, the gifts of the spirit, the importance of spirituality in life, the importance of marriage and an accountability partner, and the importance of fellowship.
The pastor of Indian Creek talked about being connected Sunday how even animals –birds travel in flocks, cattle travel in herds, bees travel in swarms, ants travel in a colony, etc. We can learn sometimes from the animal kingdom. As God's sheep we are to be in a herds, not be like wolves that gangs up on another sheep.
He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness. Hebrews 5:2
I love this old black spiritual song sung by Louis Armstrong. The reason why I decided to blog on it is because I have divorced women telling me that they understand what I am going through with spousal loss.
I have been divorced and it is somewhat comparable to a person dying of cancer where you are glad that they finally have laid down their pain, not those of us who have had sudden loss of a great relationship due to heart attack, murder or an accident. The other lady lost her husband suddenly in the hospital after 35 years of marriage.
We can discount other people's feelings when we compare. We have to be careful about “comparisons.” The Bible warns about not doing this. It’s talking more about bragging about ourselves, but it’s the same way with comparing pain stories.
... Sort of like this black spiritual song, “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen!” It’s actually a great song.
Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. Galatians 6:4
We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 2 Cor. 10:12
For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends. 2 Cor. 10:18
Louis Armstrong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVKKRzemX_w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVKKRzemX_w
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