His
kingdom come (Matthew 6:10)
I
went to this funeral of a dear woman of God, but she had 13 years of
Alzheimer’s. I listened to the minister’s sermon who talked about all these
other tragic deaths and disappointments that we don’t understand. I
remembered other phenomenon where my niece/nephew’s cousin was struck by
lightning and died and where I had a former brother-in-law who was an avid surfer
and he drowned fishing at night in a calm river. Anyway, it’s the same
type of thing I heard from my grief professional counselor, all of these
Twilight Zone episodes of people choking on the end of a banana, and the
hospital cafeteria people did not even think of doing the Heimlich maneuver so he died eating a banana split!
A
couple of times I’ve slipped recently on some water once at Mike’s car wash
with these new sandals I bought and once when I was having dinner with a guy
friend at this Mexican restaurant. It was like slipping on a freaking
banana peel and I’m just glad I did not break any bones when I landed flat on
my back! We can think that God is a “harsh” God, but it says:
How precious to me are your thoughts, O
God! How vast is the sum of them! Psalm 139:17
I
realize that God gave his son in my place. This is very easy for me to
understand in that when my husband died, a woman came up to me at work and she
said because my husband died that her husband had indigestion that she made him
go to the hospital when he was not going to go, and they caught a clogged stent
in time and it probably saved his life (from him having a heart attack).
I
also got a letter from my husband's organ recipient, and it said because of tissue donation
from his legs, a woman with a child was able to walk. I’ve also heard that
sometimes an early death is like a “wake-up” call. Like when you go to a
hotel room and they wake you up to go catch your plane. If death is a
wake-up call it’s only to tell you that life is very temporary and the only
thing you can take with you is love and hopefully you lived a life of love on
earth.
I’ve
not reached that point in my love walk with God that I am able to trade my
husband for your husband or my child for your child, I want my husband
back. I know my husband is “full-time” with God now. I used to
share my spouse with God and others, but now God has him full-time. God
traded his son’s life for my life.
I
don’t have that capacity of love in my own self to willfully do that.
I
was coming back from the funeral and I was thinking about something my husband
said to me a few weeks before he passed away that he was disappointed in
something I did 14 years prior. I could have come back and said,
“I’m disappointed in you too.” You are King Elvis in
disappointments. That is in relationship to him wanting to play sports on
Sunday (golf) rather than go to church and not stepping up to bat to be the
spiritual leader of the house many times in 14 years. When he passed
away, the first thought I had is “Now you will understand why I pushed you to
be spiritual.”
I
did not tell my husband that I was disappointed in him. I said, “I take
my disappointments to God.” I followed my own advise that night after the
funeral, and I said, “Lord I am disappointed in you.” I am disappointed that my
friend and I are women of God and you allowed our husbands to die young.
That when I prayed when my husband had a heart attack, unlike 90 Minutes in
Heaven book, I could not pray my husband back to this earth. “God, I am
further disappointed how my life has turned out being a Christian. It’s
been a constant struggle for me the last five years on my own.”
I’ve
always heard Christians say that you can go through struggles with God or you
can go through struggles without God. Of course I don’t want to go
through struggles without God. But what we don’t hear much about are
struggles because of God. Those are the ones related to serving
God. As far as there can be suffering where we are buffeted for our
faults from the enemy or we are buffeted because we are taking ground from the
enemy.
Mary
and Martha were disappointed in Jesus too and told him. In that case, Jesus
raised Lazarus from the dead.
Anyway,
it was a couple of hours, the Lord answered me. He said that although I
was comfortable in my life on earth, this is not my final resting place.
That I serve a God whose city is not a city made with hands. It’s the
same thing he told Pilate that if his kingdom was of this world (age) his
people would fight. Like in the book of Hebrews 11, all the men/woman
of faith were striving for a kingdom not made with hands.
Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of
this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the
Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place." John 18:36
But they were looking for a better
place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their
God, for he has prepared a city for them. Hebrews 11:6
Christ
is coming back and it says that a sword will come out of his mouth and he will
slay his enemies with the sword out of his mouth. He is coming back to
“set up” his kingdom on this earth.
In his right hand he held seven stars,
and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like
the sun shining in all its brilliance. Rev. 1:16
In
the meantime, the Lord reminded me of when I was 19 years old in a Christian
missionary group and I was living in a tent. There were all kinds of
trials in this missionary group I was in for two years. We had to watch
for scorpions that could get in our shoes when we were at this lot in Florida. In Nashville, my son was sick a lot when we were stuck in the
cold there for a few months and we had cut down a field, and I had to throw my
mattress away that field mice made their bed in my mattress.
I
had these elders in that ministry that were like Job’s friends who kept asking
me if I had sin in my life. I would hope that confessing it would have
gotten the sin out, but that did not seem to be enough for them, but I just
kept telling them that God was able to get me through those trials and I would
come out victorious. I did not even realize what I was saying the same
thing that the three Hebrew children were saying to their king, “God is able to
deliver us from the firey furnace, but even if he does not delivers us we will
not bow down and worship your golden image.”
God
did not save me to let me die in the wilderness. The Children of Israel
just could not seem to have the faith that although God brought them out of
Egyptian bondage (salvation) that God could not see them through to the promise
land. We don’t always know if the promise land is here on earth, but we
know as the example of the rich man and Lazarus, that God can see us
through till we breathe our last breath. God is able to see us through
our trials like he saw Job through his trials and he saw Joseph and David through
their jail/wilderness journeys. We don’t have to say that we are going to die
in the wilderness of grief.
As you know, we consider blessed those
who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what
the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. James
5:11
When
people tell me they don’t know their Bible, they are telling me they don’t know
how to use their sword. Where is our sword? It is just a printed
book that we can throw in the trash, leave on a shelve, or burn up? It’s
supposed to be in our hearts and in our mouths. The sword comes out of
our mouths.
They overcame him by the blood of the
Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives
so much as to shrink from death. Rev. 12:11
Whoever offers praise glorifies me: and
to him that orders his conversation aright will I show the salvation of God.
Psalm 50:23
The
Lord gave me a prophesy when I broke my ankle not to miss the last step of my
life like I missed the stairs running down in the dark. It’s a perception
problem that many people have in losing a companion that their life is over.
Johnny Cash had that with June Carter. I’ve spoken to many people who
have missed the last step of their stairs in the dark. We are in the dark in
this life about many things, we can ask God to help us shed light on some
issues to resolve issues in our lives, but ultimately we will see “face to
face” when we stand before God. Jesus Christ is on the right hand
of God.
For now we see through
a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then
shall I know even as also I am known. 1 Cor. 13:12
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