Is Your Cross Becoming Too Heavy on Your Back/Heart—Overwhelmed?

—Overwhelmed?---death, cancer, marriage, health or financial problems, or teenage rebellion?

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

Jesus stumbled and fell carrying his cross. A soldier picked a man to help him carry it. I stumble at times too in many ways and at many things. I just don’t like to be a stumbling block to others.

for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity. Proverbs 24:16

persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Cor. 4:9

A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; Psalm 34:19

 Jesus learned to endure his cross, but close to the end of his life, he needed a person to help him carry his cross the last mile of the way.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

God has dealt with me all my life to be independent of man. Keep my own car running, be able to keep my own house going. I chose to stay off of welfare and food stamps with four children and little child support. There was a short time when I had to move back in with my parents when I was in my 20’s because of a divorce, but as time went on I have found my safety nets disappeared one by one.

I’ve become a burden bearer for others (Galatians 6:2), but for myself my main emotional strength and comfort has been God – not people. I could usually trust and depend on my husband when he was alive, but now I am finding it’s mostly been God that sees me through this difficult time and a few of his angels in my life. I was one of the lucky ones that had a loving husband, because I talk to many women or men that could not count on their spouse for emotional support.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10
May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones. 1 Thess 3: 13
But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 2 Thess 3:3

There are times in my life I have gotten “disjointed” and this is a time in my life I am like a foot out of joint. As far as I don’t fit in with single groups that are divorced or never married and I don’t fit in with spousal loss groups, because I’m still a younger widow and I don’t fit in with married people. It is when I hate my cross. I was happily married to a Christian man and when I see other Christian couples together it’s a reminder that I have been robbed.

Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. Hebrews 12:12-13

Bible studies work best for me because my husband and I never attended Bible studies together, but church every Sunday is a battle unless my children go with me because it reminds me of the family and the life I lost, same with holidays. During these times of battle, I am just going through the motions of living, it reminds me of that song, “Stayin Alive”—I am just in survival mode trying to make a living now.

It was the same way when I had four children at home as a single parent working full time and going to college. People say “don’t focus on the loss” but those people who say that have not been through the death of a spouse or child, or maybe struggled to make ends meet with children. When you meet a widow who has “arrived” on planet don’t focus on the loss I would like to meet her, because I see widows and divorced women struggling who remained single now 15 years down the road, even those who are very active in service to God’s ministry.

At these times where the loss seems like a huge gulf in my life and I see that I don’t fit in anywhere with the Body of Christ is when I tell the Lord – God I need your yoke, I need your burden, because Jesus, this cross is too heavy –too big of a burden to bear.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." Matthew 11:28-30 

This burden is too heavy for me to bear, so “Jesus I need you to bear my burdens, I can’t carry this cross on my own.” Help me learn of you….” It is like the Lord wraps his arms around me. I always like that song by Rich Mullins about Jesus putting his arms around him because it was written by a single man and it’s hard for me to imagine a single man who was not used to wrapping his loving arms around a woman day and day out every day in his bed –how could he write a song about Jesus wrapping his arms around him?

Hold Me Jesus: Rich Mullins

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gBGGX3yvMo