A pastor said recently that women
want attention, affection and admiration. I will go a step further to say that
the older women get, they seek security and a feeling of safety, especially
when they become a widow. Boaz
provided the young widow Ruth protection in making sure when she gleaned behind
the reapers, the men did not bother her.
In the Bible, women did not have the right to property so if their husband died they lost everything unless there was a son who became the heir. We have the example of Judah who refused to give his daughter-in-law his son after several of his sons died so Tamar tricked him into sleeping with her, Onan who refused to give a widow relative a child that displeased the Lord, and Naomi where Boaz purchased land for her. This caused women to be very focused on having boy children. Abraham knew that his land and everything would go to his servant.
In my parent's generation, my mother was a full time housewife and so was my husband's mother. Both of our fathers pushed for their daughters to go to college. Many women today balance a career along with a husband and children.
The movie, "In Her Shoes" is about two sisters, one who focuses on her looks to get through life, and one who focuses on her brains. It's a story how these two sisters who lost their mother work out their differences to eventually come back together. Part of the problem was their father did not handle the suicide death of their mother well.
Rachel and Leah's father in the Bible put them in in the middle of one man Jacob. We don't have any indication that these two sisters did not have a good relationship before then and we don't hear about their mother. Leah tried to earn the love of her husband by popping out baby after baby in hopes that Jacob would love her. Every baby except her last baby Judah was named in hopes her husband would appreciate her. It's sad when two sisters allow a man to come between them.
Trying to earn a man's love in some way usually doesn't work. I've known many men where the wife did everything for him, but it was not appreciated or respected. They even bought him a car. Children have the tendency too when we give them everything in life rather than having them work and pay for their own car, not to appreciate it as much. That is why it's more profitable to teach a homeless person a job skill and a sense of responsibility rather than just giving handouts.
An inheritance claimed too soon will not be blessed at the end. Proverbs 20:21
Women lose their self-value and respect. I think it's great when a man does not ask us to give up our dreams for him. It's very liberating. A relationship is compromise, but I've seen all too many times it becomes totally one-sided where instead of two becoming "one flesh" as far as the "we" of the relationship it is like Nabal where is "I" and "my" stuff. Then we can end up like Abigail in apologizing for our husband being selfish. Making excuses for his poor behavior.
I've even had men want me to move out of state for them and I learned my lessons well in the past. Rebecca moved from her family to marry Isaac and there was no friendship/courtship (just road back on the camel with Abraham's servant) and Isaac took her into his tent and they were married. I am glad in our society we can date and get to know someone to determine if they will be a good companion. When I am going to lay my cards down, I like to be ready to show my cards and in turn, I want to make sure I'm ready for that person to lay their cards down too.
Another security women are looking for is faithfulness. Faithfulness is a fruit of the spirit. Galatians 5:22. A person they can depend on for one to be there when they need him and also not to wander from the marriage bed. When a woman knows she is a man’s top priority, above sports, job, his friends, it’s easier to want to please him.
(Marriage is honorable in every way, so husbands and wives should be faithful to each other. God will judge those who commit sexual sins, especially those who commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4)
My step children had pictures of their dad with their mom when they were married hanging in their room, but I was secure in my husband's love to know that he was not going to go back to his ex-wife. I only remember one time going to his work Christmas party where we had pretend gambling tables and some woman talking to him and I came up to let her know "He was taken," and my husband never took off his wedding ring or did a “double take” around me when a woman walked in the room.
In the Bible, women did not have the right to property so if their husband died they lost everything unless there was a son who became the heir. We have the example of Judah who refused to give his daughter-in-law his son after several of his sons died so Tamar tricked him into sleeping with her, Onan who refused to give a widow relative a child that displeased the Lord, and Naomi where Boaz purchased land for her. This caused women to be very focused on having boy children. Abraham knew that his land and everything would go to his servant.
In my parent's generation, my mother was a full time housewife and so was my husband's mother. Both of our fathers pushed for their daughters to go to college. Many women today balance a career along with a husband and children.
The movie, "In Her Shoes" is about two sisters, one who focuses on her looks to get through life, and one who focuses on her brains. It's a story how these two sisters who lost their mother work out their differences to eventually come back together. Part of the problem was their father did not handle the suicide death of their mother well.
Rachel and Leah's father in the Bible put them in in the middle of one man Jacob. We don't have any indication that these two sisters did not have a good relationship before then and we don't hear about their mother. Leah tried to earn the love of her husband by popping out baby after baby in hopes that Jacob would love her. Every baby except her last baby Judah was named in hopes her husband would appreciate her. It's sad when two sisters allow a man to come between them.
Trying to earn a man's love in some way usually doesn't work. I've known many men where the wife did everything for him, but it was not appreciated or respected. They even bought him a car. Children have the tendency too when we give them everything in life rather than having them work and pay for their own car, not to appreciate it as much. That is why it's more profitable to teach a homeless person a job skill and a sense of responsibility rather than just giving handouts.
An inheritance claimed too soon will not be blessed at the end. Proverbs 20:21
Women lose their self-value and respect. I think it's great when a man does not ask us to give up our dreams for him. It's very liberating. A relationship is compromise, but I've seen all too many times it becomes totally one-sided where instead of two becoming "one flesh" as far as the "we" of the relationship it is like Nabal where is "I" and "my" stuff. Then we can end up like Abigail in apologizing for our husband being selfish. Making excuses for his poor behavior.
I've even had men want me to move out of state for them and I learned my lessons well in the past. Rebecca moved from her family to marry Isaac and there was no friendship/courtship (just road back on the camel with Abraham's servant) and Isaac took her into his tent and they were married. I am glad in our society we can date and get to know someone to determine if they will be a good companion. When I am going to lay my cards down, I like to be ready to show my cards and in turn, I want to make sure I'm ready for that person to lay their cards down too.
Another security women are looking for is faithfulness. Faithfulness is a fruit of the spirit. Galatians 5:22. A person they can depend on for one to be there when they need him and also not to wander from the marriage bed. When a woman knows she is a man’s top priority, above sports, job, his friends, it’s easier to want to please him.
(Marriage is honorable in every way, so husbands and wives should be faithful to each other. God will judge those who commit sexual sins, especially those who commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4)
My step children had pictures of their dad with their mom when they were married hanging in their room, but I was secure in my husband's love to know that he was not going to go back to his ex-wife. I only remember one time going to his work Christmas party where we had pretend gambling tables and some woman talking to him and I came up to let her know "He was taken," and my husband never took off his wedding ring or did a “double take” around me when a woman walked in the room.
No comments:
Post a Comment