The Pike Fish Syndrome
There was a research/scientific study on Pike fish. Research and scientific study/Psychology is good about pointing out man has problems. Psychology focuses on behavior modification, where God does heart modification/changing.
I've been the Internet Christian police woman with single men for online dating concerning rude comments they make in their emails. I’ve emailed a few about “cleaning up their act,” but I’m not called to change people. I realize that a person’s heart has to be changed. When you are looking for a gentleman in life, you are looking for a person who sees themselves as valuable and precious. If you don’t love yourself and respect yourself first, see yourself as a lady, it’s hard to respect another human being. Many people that talk trash see themselves as trash.
“Researchers ran some experiments on Pike fish in a large fishbowl. They placed a clear glass barrier in the middle. On the side the fish was not on, they placed some food. The fish saw the food and moved towards it. It banged against the glass barrier. The Pike fish repeatedly attempted to get the food but was foiled by the glass. Eventually the fish stopped trying. The researchers then took the glass out. The fish no longer would try to get the food. They even placed food right next to the fish but the fish would not eat it because it was convinced it could not get to it. The fish died of starvation.”
“This conditioning experiment is an illustration for humans that faulty assumptions can cause barriers. Wrong attitudes when the food was all around him, but the Pike did not eat the minnows and died of starvation. Wrong anticipation and expectations of what people are going to do. Know it all attitudes, experiences in life should be re-evaluated, stay in the “here and now” because when the conditions were changed, the fish still had a barrier in its mind.”
“People are limited by a whole host of barriers such as age, abilities or even self confidence. It does not matter if the barrier is physically there or not, but if our minds perceive a limitation, then a barrier is very much in place. If you perceive yourself to be inferior for instance, this could eventually become a self fulfilling prophecy. In addition, this experiment tells us that it is often difficult to identify the change, even when the barrier is removed. The Pike was unable to change its mindset when the barrier was removed and starved to death. Similarly, people suffer from the same problem as well. We often assume that the barrier is still in place when in fact, it has already disappeared. So, do try to identify cases of Pike Syndrome in your life. Remove the constraints that limit your life by critically examining the situation and remove any false assumptions that have been previously holding you back. You can change and be a better person! Achieve better interpersonal communication.”
Proverbs 3:27, "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he." You will eventually become what you think....I keep telling my male friends don’t say that women don’t want to date you. Say that you have plenty of opportunities to date.
Freeing JoeFish From The Blender of Life (Self-Esteem Issues)
A few years ago, there was an Internet cartoon called JoeFish. It was a cartoon fish in a blender (http://www.joecartoon.com/) and you push keys on the computer and you can torture the cartoon fish. There is another one where a hamster is lowered into a fish tank and the hamster kicks holes in the fish. I don’t know why, but for some reason I seem to like to torture the fish when I played the cartoon. There was a Christmas computer cartoon where people were skating in a snow globe and you could shake the snow globe and the people would fall down skating and scream. It was fun to shake the people and see them fall down and hear them scream.
Do I find pleasure or rejoice in others who are afflicted and in torturing JoeFish? I guess there is a sort of sick side of me (mean spirit). There were boys in my neighborhood when I was a child who enjoyed cutting legs off of frogs or boiling them in water. I realize there are spirits that enjoy torturing us. It can be with fear, depression, worry, anxiety, sickness etc.
Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?" Luke 13:16
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 1 Timothy 1:7
Gideon suffered from a low self-esteem problem as he said his clan was the weakest and he was the least in his family. When the angel appeared to Gideon, God saw Gideon as a mighty warrior, but Gideon suffered from a low self-esteem. Gideon said “But Lord.” David said we are the sheep of God’s pasture and Jesus said he was the shepherd who laid his life down for his sheep. Sheep go baa, goats butt.
When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior." Judges 6:12 V.14 The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?" But Lord," Gideon asked, "how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family." Judges 6:15
Part of being free from the "pike fish syndrome" is I notice many single men and women are seeking a trophy wife or husband to feel better about themselves. I would bring my husband to high school reunions to "show him off" because I was proud of him. When my husband and I went to Hawaii he commented to me how many men at the resort had wives ten years younger. My husband and I and another couple were the "few" that were with a spouse our own age. It's men who are caught up on the physical beauty of a woman rather than what is in a woman’s heart. I find myself getting "caught up" in some of that trophy hunting for a new spouse too only my meat market is the healthy meat market. I'm at the 4-H state fair looking at the guy's teeth and his gut to see if he is grade A healthy prime rib roast as far as what the guy eats and if he exercises, because I lost a person from a heart attack.
I'm not a rat in some Christian single social maze going to be caught up in that game. I broke free of it when I was 35-years old and I certainly am not getting caught up in the whole rat maze again! Besides, I've already been down that road before in a previous marriage, where I believe I was a trophy wife to someone and then when he got me, he was off to finding another trophy in life.
I have done rotations around the Body of Christ (i.e. I used to work at Methodist Hospital for medical residents for seven years and they did rotations to see what specific field of study they wanted to specialize in. The surgery residents did rotations in plastic, cardiovascular, general or pediatric surgery). I visited different churches to see what body I want to work with since when my husband died, I was not comfortable staying at the church where we were attending together. I’ve noticed in doing these rotations that sometimes ministers tend to mix their sermons with condemnation. There seems to be a fine line between having a healthy self-esteem versus humbling ourselves and not walking in pride.
I found a church and like JoeFish in being free from the blender, I believe it has the combination of good plastic surgery and cardiovascular (heart surgery) and it's called the Blended Church since it has mixed races. What is funny is that the news media called it the Blender Church recently which I believe is appropriate in being free from the blender of life (being beat up in life). Christians should find a church that they can attend and get rooted in to receive mentorship and edification.
A hang-up my husband had that bugged me is he starting putting himself down about his job. I’ve not quite understood why when you cut the wire in some men’s life as far as a job it affects their whole self-esteem. When I married him, he did not have this problem. He was very happy with his job and determined that his job was not enough to fulfill his life and he wanted to be in a marriage relationship. A few years after we were married, he started saying how others in his office belonged at his company, but he was privileged to have his job. He was punching himself in the face which in turn was punching me, because I was his partner in life. I don’t see where my job has to drive my self-esteem as much as my skills drive my job. I have my job through abilities that God gave me and my husband had great skills as a professional engineer. I realize that men who are providers, have a hard time separating their self-esteem from their jobs. I've lost jobs in the past through downsizing so it may have prepared me better for losing jobs than my husband.
I encouraged my husband as much as possible, but I could not put that warrior spirit in him. He was like Gideon. He was a very intelligent man and he made straight A’s in high school and good grades in college, but he saw himself as a low-life Christian at times. He had a job as a senior estimator for land development where he could not bid too high or bid too low. He missed a changeover with a difficult client and got yelled at by his boss and it affected his bonus. This was right before he passed away. His manager called me up on the phone to apologize about yelling at him. The Bible talks about when we make mistakes that we are to bear it patiently and his boss made a comment to me that he did not argue back. My husband obeyed this verse:
But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 1 Peter 2:20
During the funeral many vendors came and they talked about how they could trust my husband to give them straight, honest answers. The funeral was packed with flowers and people who came to express their thanks for 17 years of building up his company. I was touched my husband’s boss closed the company down at 3 pm so that people could come to the funeral calling.
I believe that God gave me that as a gift when he passed away as far as his memory was exonerated. It was a gift to me because my husband was gone so he could not appreciate the gift as I and his family did.
A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. Proverbs 22:1
The memory of the righteous will be a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot. Proverbs 10:7
A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. Eccl. 7:1
God has several gifts through people and one is helping our self esteem. It's a promise in God's word if we humble ourselves, that God will exalt us.
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10
The lowly he sets on high, and those who mourn are lifted to safety. Job 5:11
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 1 Peter 5:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6
My heavenly Father has a picnic basket of goodies and I’m wanting some of his goodies from that picnic basket here on earth. Some of these goodies are the gifts of the spirit and I like God’s best spiritual gifts.
Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy. 1 Cor. 14:1
The other gift my Heavenly Father gave me before my husband passed away is that he was not very romantic or verbal with his feelings and emotions and did not say "I love you" very much. I count it a blessing that he said that right before he passed away and another time that week and he also said he appreciated me helping him by driving to Bloomington when his car broke down when he was out having fun jet skiing to come get him. I needed to be studying for an advanced Algebra test, but I gave up my study time to come rescue him.
It was nice to hear those things right before my husband passed away. I compare what I did to help him that evening "a drop in the bucket" to everything my husband did for me the 15+ years and I compare things I go through in life (trials/testings/tribulations) a drop in the bucket to what my heavenly Father has in store for me, because I love him and what Jesus did on the cross for me.
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God -- 1 Cor. 2:9-10
Many people beat themselves up about failing at marriage in getting a divorce. I agree with a statement that Joel Osteen said that if a person leaves you than you have the opportunity to find the person that God has for you. Who wants to continue to live with a Saul in life who won’t obey God? I want to live with a person who wants to be with me. It’s like the song by Bonnie Raitt, “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” If a person chooses to go their own way rather than God’s way and you can’t walk in peace, it’s better to be at peace with your own self! After I went through a divorce, I started reading books on co-dependency and one-sided relationships and made up my mind that I was going to focus on having friends that it was a mutual beneficial relationship and have a spouse where I was not the one giving all the time. I did not want a friendship or marriage relationship in life that was like a flea parasite.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
Partying Too Hard?
Parents beat themselves up over their children. We can’t control a husband/wife to do God’s will, we certainly can’t control teens and adult children to obey the Lord. I recognize what is out of my control is in God’s control. I was recently at a single’s Bible study and a woman said that she was going to send her teen daughter to a boot camp. I asked her several times if she had tried praying and fasting for her daughter and she avoided the question. Her daughter was not into drugs or alcohol, but it was because she was rebellious. The problem with sending children to a boot camp or off to boarding school, is it can minister rejection. I’m glad my mom “hung” in there when I was going through my rebellious teenage years and through the prayers of my sister and the church, I accepted the Lord into my life. My mom was not even a Christian, but a woman encouraged her that I would come out of the rebellion.
Job continually sacrificed for his children “just in case” they did something wrong. They were out partying when the roof came down. I don’t know about you, but that is some wild partying. (just a joke although it was not a joking matter). I remember reading where there was a party and a whole deck in some apartment building collapsed with people on it in Chicago. Most of us make sacrifices in life for our children on a regular basis. I did some wild partying in the past and I'm glad the roof did not fall on me physically.
His sons used to take turns holding feasts in their homes, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would send and have them purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, "Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." This was Job's regular custom. Job 1:4-5
While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!" Job 1:17-18
Part of being an overcomer in life I spoke to my mother-in-law is remembering the good memories about her two children who passed away early in life. It’s the enemy that tries to drag us down to focus on the bad ending of a person’s life and the tragedy. Rather than the joy of her daughter, she remembers the last memories of cancer and how she wanted to have children and never accomplished that ambition in life. It’s hard not to focus on what we don’t have in life rather than what we do have or the joys and love that person brought to us in life. Sometimes it’s a daily struggle to give the sacrifices of praise in our lives.
Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise--the fruit of lips that confess his name. Hebrews 13:5
I like a statement that Joyce Meyer said that the news journalist criticize her, because she has a good self-image. Kudos to Joyce Meyer. Ministers like Joel Osteen, remind me of a good spiritual plastic surgeon. I find I need a spiritual plastic surgeon at times. Joel Osteen said that people don’t like that he smiles so much. I’ve had the same criticism in the past. I smiled a lot because I was happily married. I still strive in life to “Put on a Happy Face.” I’ve posted those lyrics below.
Smile so people know what your heart is doing. Going through difficulties in life has nothing to do with what is going on in the inside of my heart. I have many times deep sorrow that wants to swallow me up. David in the Bible talked about that. Many current faith teachers don't talk about pouring our heart out before the Lord. Christians wear a facade.
I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes. Away from me, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer. Psam 6:6-9
Remember, O LORD, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes." And Hezekiah wept bitterly. Isaiah 38:3
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" Psalm 42:3
Either we go through trials with or God or without God. It rains on the just and the unjust. That is why we bless others who use us and persecute us, because our heavenly Father blesses even the unthankful and the evil. I prefer to go through trials with my Heavenly Father in control. If I choose to look at the natural, my life looks impossible and things can feel gloom and doom, but I choose to look at God who is my provider, my encourager and the strength of life. I serve a God who moves in the realm of the impossible. I don't look at the circumstances of my life or the circumstances of what is going on in other people's lives, my children, but I look to God who is my provider. God made a provision in Egypt through Joseph during famine. I don't live by this natural realm, but by the supernatural realm.
For nothing is impossible with God. Luke 1:37
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 5:45
I was attracted to my husband because of his smile the first time I met him. All the vendors of my husband's company came up to me at the funeral and said, "Your husband smiles all the time." My husband gave his smile to the world. Another gift he gave unbelievers is that we loved each other. Those were two gifts we gave to the lost.
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35
The other day I went through Starbucks and they messed up my order they gave me a Venti, when I asked for a Tall peppermint mocha. They gave me a refund of my money for charging too much but they also gave me a coupon for a free mocha so I would come back. It was a consolation to me. They were consoling me for making mistake. I look for God's consolation. My heavenly Father has different consolation prizes in life (one is the Holy Spirit) for comfort and different rewards in this life and in the next life. I'm constantly looking for the people who God wants me to give comfort and those He will provide comfort (wash my feet) in life.
Consolation prize: an award given to those who do not win an event but are deserving of recognition.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 cor. 1:3-4
Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Isaiah 40:1
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem." Isaiah 66:13
But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus. 2 Cor. 7:6
Put On a Happy Face
Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face;
Brush off the clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face.
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,
It's not your style;
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
Ya' decide to smile!
Pick out a pleasant outlook,
Stick out that noble chin;
Wipe off that "full of doubt" look,
Slap on a happy grin!
And spread sunshine all over the place,
Just put on a happy face!
Put on a happy face
Put on a happy face
And if you're feeling cross and bitterish
Don't sit and whine
Think of banana split and licorice
And you'll feel fine
I knew a girl so glooming
She'd never laugh or sing
She wouldn't listen to me
Now she's a mean old thing
So spread sunshine all over the place
Just put on a happy face
So, put on a happy face
There was a research/scientific study on Pike fish. Research and scientific study/Psychology is good about pointing out man has problems. Psychology focuses on behavior modification, where God does heart modification/changing.
I've been the Internet Christian police woman with single men for online dating concerning rude comments they make in their emails. I’ve emailed a few about “cleaning up their act,” but I’m not called to change people. I realize that a person’s heart has to be changed. When you are looking for a gentleman in life, you are looking for a person who sees themselves as valuable and precious. If you don’t love yourself and respect yourself first, see yourself as a lady, it’s hard to respect another human being. Many people that talk trash see themselves as trash.
“Researchers ran some experiments on Pike fish in a large fishbowl. They placed a clear glass barrier in the middle. On the side the fish was not on, they placed some food. The fish saw the food and moved towards it. It banged against the glass barrier. The Pike fish repeatedly attempted to get the food but was foiled by the glass. Eventually the fish stopped trying. The researchers then took the glass out. The fish no longer would try to get the food. They even placed food right next to the fish but the fish would not eat it because it was convinced it could not get to it. The fish died of starvation.”
“This conditioning experiment is an illustration for humans that faulty assumptions can cause barriers. Wrong attitudes when the food was all around him, but the Pike did not eat the minnows and died of starvation. Wrong anticipation and expectations of what people are going to do. Know it all attitudes, experiences in life should be re-evaluated, stay in the “here and now” because when the conditions were changed, the fish still had a barrier in its mind.”
“People are limited by a whole host of barriers such as age, abilities or even self confidence. It does not matter if the barrier is physically there or not, but if our minds perceive a limitation, then a barrier is very much in place. If you perceive yourself to be inferior for instance, this could eventually become a self fulfilling prophecy. In addition, this experiment tells us that it is often difficult to identify the change, even when the barrier is removed. The Pike was unable to change its mindset when the barrier was removed and starved to death. Similarly, people suffer from the same problem as well. We often assume that the barrier is still in place when in fact, it has already disappeared. So, do try to identify cases of Pike Syndrome in your life. Remove the constraints that limit your life by critically examining the situation and remove any false assumptions that have been previously holding you back. You can change and be a better person! Achieve better interpersonal communication.”
Proverbs 3:27, "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he." You will eventually become what you think....I keep telling my male friends don’t say that women don’t want to date you. Say that you have plenty of opportunities to date.
Freeing JoeFish From The Blender of Life (Self-Esteem Issues)
A few years ago, there was an Internet cartoon called JoeFish. It was a cartoon fish in a blender (http://www.joecartoon.com/) and you push keys on the computer and you can torture the cartoon fish. There is another one where a hamster is lowered into a fish tank and the hamster kicks holes in the fish. I don’t know why, but for some reason I seem to like to torture the fish when I played the cartoon. There was a Christmas computer cartoon where people were skating in a snow globe and you could shake the snow globe and the people would fall down skating and scream. It was fun to shake the people and see them fall down and hear them scream.
Do I find pleasure or rejoice in others who are afflicted and in torturing JoeFish? I guess there is a sort of sick side of me (mean spirit). There were boys in my neighborhood when I was a child who enjoyed cutting legs off of frogs or boiling them in water. I realize there are spirits that enjoy torturing us. It can be with fear, depression, worry, anxiety, sickness etc.
Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?" Luke 13:16
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 1 Timothy 1:7
Gideon suffered from a low self-esteem problem as he said his clan was the weakest and he was the least in his family. When the angel appeared to Gideon, God saw Gideon as a mighty warrior, but Gideon suffered from a low self-esteem. Gideon said “But Lord.” David said we are the sheep of God’s pasture and Jesus said he was the shepherd who laid his life down for his sheep. Sheep go baa, goats butt.
When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior." Judges 6:12 V.14 The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?" But Lord," Gideon asked, "how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family." Judges 6:15
Part of being free from the "pike fish syndrome" is I notice many single men and women are seeking a trophy wife or husband to feel better about themselves. I would bring my husband to high school reunions to "show him off" because I was proud of him. When my husband and I went to Hawaii he commented to me how many men at the resort had wives ten years younger. My husband and I and another couple were the "few" that were with a spouse our own age. It's men who are caught up on the physical beauty of a woman rather than what is in a woman’s heart. I find myself getting "caught up" in some of that trophy hunting for a new spouse too only my meat market is the healthy meat market. I'm at the 4-H state fair looking at the guy's teeth and his gut to see if he is grade A healthy prime rib roast as far as what the guy eats and if he exercises, because I lost a person from a heart attack.
I'm not a rat in some Christian single social maze going to be caught up in that game. I broke free of it when I was 35-years old and I certainly am not getting caught up in the whole rat maze again! Besides, I've already been down that road before in a previous marriage, where I believe I was a trophy wife to someone and then when he got me, he was off to finding another trophy in life.
I have done rotations around the Body of Christ (i.e. I used to work at Methodist Hospital for medical residents for seven years and they did rotations to see what specific field of study they wanted to specialize in. The surgery residents did rotations in plastic, cardiovascular, general or pediatric surgery). I visited different churches to see what body I want to work with since when my husband died, I was not comfortable staying at the church where we were attending together. I’ve noticed in doing these rotations that sometimes ministers tend to mix their sermons with condemnation. There seems to be a fine line between having a healthy self-esteem versus humbling ourselves and not walking in pride.
I found a church and like JoeFish in being free from the blender, I believe it has the combination of good plastic surgery and cardiovascular (heart surgery) and it's called the Blended Church since it has mixed races. What is funny is that the news media called it the Blender Church recently which I believe is appropriate in being free from the blender of life (being beat up in life). Christians should find a church that they can attend and get rooted in to receive mentorship and edification.
A hang-up my husband had that bugged me is he starting putting himself down about his job. I’ve not quite understood why when you cut the wire in some men’s life as far as a job it affects their whole self-esteem. When I married him, he did not have this problem. He was very happy with his job and determined that his job was not enough to fulfill his life and he wanted to be in a marriage relationship. A few years after we were married, he started saying how others in his office belonged at his company, but he was privileged to have his job. He was punching himself in the face which in turn was punching me, because I was his partner in life. I don’t see where my job has to drive my self-esteem as much as my skills drive my job. I have my job through abilities that God gave me and my husband had great skills as a professional engineer. I realize that men who are providers, have a hard time separating their self-esteem from their jobs. I've lost jobs in the past through downsizing so it may have prepared me better for losing jobs than my husband.
I encouraged my husband as much as possible, but I could not put that warrior spirit in him. He was like Gideon. He was a very intelligent man and he made straight A’s in high school and good grades in college, but he saw himself as a low-life Christian at times. He had a job as a senior estimator for land development where he could not bid too high or bid too low. He missed a changeover with a difficult client and got yelled at by his boss and it affected his bonus. This was right before he passed away. His manager called me up on the phone to apologize about yelling at him. The Bible talks about when we make mistakes that we are to bear it patiently and his boss made a comment to me that he did not argue back. My husband obeyed this verse:
But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 1 Peter 2:20
During the funeral many vendors came and they talked about how they could trust my husband to give them straight, honest answers. The funeral was packed with flowers and people who came to express their thanks for 17 years of building up his company. I was touched my husband’s boss closed the company down at 3 pm so that people could come to the funeral calling.
I believe that God gave me that as a gift when he passed away as far as his memory was exonerated. It was a gift to me because my husband was gone so he could not appreciate the gift as I and his family did.
A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. Proverbs 22:1
The memory of the righteous will be a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot. Proverbs 10:7
A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. Eccl. 7:1
God has several gifts through people and one is helping our self esteem. It's a promise in God's word if we humble ourselves, that God will exalt us.
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10
The lowly he sets on high, and those who mourn are lifted to safety. Job 5:11
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 1 Peter 5:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6
My heavenly Father has a picnic basket of goodies and I’m wanting some of his goodies from that picnic basket here on earth. Some of these goodies are the gifts of the spirit and I like God’s best spiritual gifts.
Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy. 1 Cor. 14:1
The other gift my Heavenly Father gave me before my husband passed away is that he was not very romantic or verbal with his feelings and emotions and did not say "I love you" very much. I count it a blessing that he said that right before he passed away and another time that week and he also said he appreciated me helping him by driving to Bloomington when his car broke down when he was out having fun jet skiing to come get him. I needed to be studying for an advanced Algebra test, but I gave up my study time to come rescue him.
It was nice to hear those things right before my husband passed away. I compare what I did to help him that evening "a drop in the bucket" to everything my husband did for me the 15+ years and I compare things I go through in life (trials/testings/tribulations) a drop in the bucket to what my heavenly Father has in store for me, because I love him and what Jesus did on the cross for me.
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God -- 1 Cor. 2:9-10
Many people beat themselves up about failing at marriage in getting a divorce. I agree with a statement that Joel Osteen said that if a person leaves you than you have the opportunity to find the person that God has for you. Who wants to continue to live with a Saul in life who won’t obey God? I want to live with a person who wants to be with me. It’s like the song by Bonnie Raitt, “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” If a person chooses to go their own way rather than God’s way and you can’t walk in peace, it’s better to be at peace with your own self! After I went through a divorce, I started reading books on co-dependency and one-sided relationships and made up my mind that I was going to focus on having friends that it was a mutual beneficial relationship and have a spouse where I was not the one giving all the time. I did not want a friendship or marriage relationship in life that was like a flea parasite.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
Partying Too Hard?
Parents beat themselves up over their children. We can’t control a husband/wife to do God’s will, we certainly can’t control teens and adult children to obey the Lord. I recognize what is out of my control is in God’s control. I was recently at a single’s Bible study and a woman said that she was going to send her teen daughter to a boot camp. I asked her several times if she had tried praying and fasting for her daughter and she avoided the question. Her daughter was not into drugs or alcohol, but it was because she was rebellious. The problem with sending children to a boot camp or off to boarding school, is it can minister rejection. I’m glad my mom “hung” in there when I was going through my rebellious teenage years and through the prayers of my sister and the church, I accepted the Lord into my life. My mom was not even a Christian, but a woman encouraged her that I would come out of the rebellion.
Job continually sacrificed for his children “just in case” they did something wrong. They were out partying when the roof came down. I don’t know about you, but that is some wild partying. (just a joke although it was not a joking matter). I remember reading where there was a party and a whole deck in some apartment building collapsed with people on it in Chicago. Most of us make sacrifices in life for our children on a regular basis. I did some wild partying in the past and I'm glad the roof did not fall on me physically.
His sons used to take turns holding feasts in their homes, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would send and have them purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, "Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." This was Job's regular custom. Job 1:4-5
While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!" Job 1:17-18
Part of being an overcomer in life I spoke to my mother-in-law is remembering the good memories about her two children who passed away early in life. It’s the enemy that tries to drag us down to focus on the bad ending of a person’s life and the tragedy. Rather than the joy of her daughter, she remembers the last memories of cancer and how she wanted to have children and never accomplished that ambition in life. It’s hard not to focus on what we don’t have in life rather than what we do have or the joys and love that person brought to us in life. Sometimes it’s a daily struggle to give the sacrifices of praise in our lives.
Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise--the fruit of lips that confess his name. Hebrews 13:5
I like a statement that Joyce Meyer said that the news journalist criticize her, because she has a good self-image. Kudos to Joyce Meyer. Ministers like Joel Osteen, remind me of a good spiritual plastic surgeon. I find I need a spiritual plastic surgeon at times. Joel Osteen said that people don’t like that he smiles so much. I’ve had the same criticism in the past. I smiled a lot because I was happily married. I still strive in life to “Put on a Happy Face.” I’ve posted those lyrics below.
Smile so people know what your heart is doing. Going through difficulties in life has nothing to do with what is going on in the inside of my heart. I have many times deep sorrow that wants to swallow me up. David in the Bible talked about that. Many current faith teachers don't talk about pouring our heart out before the Lord. Christians wear a facade.
I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes. Away from me, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer. Psam 6:6-9
Remember, O LORD, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes." And Hezekiah wept bitterly. Isaiah 38:3
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" Psalm 42:3
Either we go through trials with or God or without God. It rains on the just and the unjust. That is why we bless others who use us and persecute us, because our heavenly Father blesses even the unthankful and the evil. I prefer to go through trials with my Heavenly Father in control. If I choose to look at the natural, my life looks impossible and things can feel gloom and doom, but I choose to look at God who is my provider, my encourager and the strength of life. I serve a God who moves in the realm of the impossible. I don't look at the circumstances of my life or the circumstances of what is going on in other people's lives, my children, but I look to God who is my provider. God made a provision in Egypt through Joseph during famine. I don't live by this natural realm, but by the supernatural realm.
For nothing is impossible with God. Luke 1:37
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 5:45
I was attracted to my husband because of his smile the first time I met him. All the vendors of my husband's company came up to me at the funeral and said, "Your husband smiles all the time." My husband gave his smile to the world. Another gift he gave unbelievers is that we loved each other. Those were two gifts we gave to the lost.
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35
The other day I went through Starbucks and they messed up my order they gave me a Venti, when I asked for a Tall peppermint mocha. They gave me a refund of my money for charging too much but they also gave me a coupon for a free mocha so I would come back. It was a consolation to me. They were consoling me for making mistake. I look for God's consolation. My heavenly Father has different consolation prizes in life (one is the Holy Spirit) for comfort and different rewards in this life and in the next life. I'm constantly looking for the people who God wants me to give comfort and those He will provide comfort (wash my feet) in life.
Consolation prize: an award given to those who do not win an event but are deserving of recognition.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 cor. 1:3-4
Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Isaiah 40:1
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem." Isaiah 66:13
But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus. 2 Cor. 7:6
Put On a Happy Face
Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face;
Brush off the clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face.
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,
It's not your style;
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
Ya' decide to smile!
Pick out a pleasant outlook,
Stick out that noble chin;
Wipe off that "full of doubt" look,
Slap on a happy grin!
And spread sunshine all over the place,
Just put on a happy face!
Put on a happy face
Put on a happy face
And if you're feeling cross and bitterish
Don't sit and whine
Think of banana split and licorice
And you'll feel fine
I knew a girl so glooming
She'd never laugh or sing
She wouldn't listen to me
Now she's a mean old thing
So spread sunshine all over the place
Just put on a happy face
So, put on a happy face
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