I have always felt like a loner in life. My sister married when I was 6 years old and my brother was in college when I was a freshman in high school. Now my sister is deceased and my brother lives in Montana. When I became a Christian my parents were unbelievers. I had a lot of common ground with my spouse from a divorce. I've met a few widows I have that now (then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Philip 2:2).
Hurricane hit your house? Rebuild. Got in a car accident? Get back behind the wheel. Horse threw you off? Get back on one. My brother played tight-end in football in high school and got the wind knocked out of him the last game and never played in college. Divorce or Death? Take a break and start dating again. I took a two-year break. David kept his momentum going when he killed Goliath, he just killed a lion and bear (1 Samuel 17:36). Get back in the saddle of life.
My guy friend Scott is my wingman. He is too old for me. When I go dancing I dance with 28 year old guys. I threatened to fire Scott as my wingman if he does not bring more guys boating. (Wingman is a role that a person takes when a friend needs support with approaching potential partners. Male friends help attract desirable potential mates. 'Pre-wing' refers to the talking up of one friend to another to build an attractive persona before any direct interactions.)
I’m in trouble like Jonah. I will recant Helpful Hints #71 that I don’t want to meet an engineer. When I say that I’m not doing something, I eat my words. I had a thought what a dump the Mary Cable building was at IUPUI when my daughter was taking piano lessons in there. I ended up working in that dumpy building for 2 years. It seems whenever I don’t want to do something or say “I never will do it” I end up doing it. Now I’ve got engineers on my online dating sites.
Calamity Jane? People who have lost their spouse, house, bankruptcy, adult children won’t talk to them, health, and lost their job. A snowball/dominos effect. Job lost it all. Don’t want to lose faith. Faith moves mountains and “Nothing will be impossible for you." (Mathew 17:20) Keep filling up on God’s word (gas) and praying for others (the throttle). When Job prayed for his friends his bad luck turned around (Job 42:10).
I made time for my girlfriends. Chic Fillet every Tuesday night with our grandsons. Guess who sat with me after my husband died? One married friend, and 3 divorced friends. They were my biggest allies. I’ve spent the night to make a girlfriend feel safe from problems with an ex (A friend loves at all times...Proverbs 17:17 and Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13)
Don’t be a busybody (1Peter 4:15). Be part of the solution not part of the problem. Don’t criticize parents as far as instructions to their kids and judge their kids. People have no idea what trauma children have been through. My grandson slept in bed with me after my husband died for several months and turned every light on in the house for fear (Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to "mind your own business"... 1 Thess. 4:11)
My daughter wants me to get a dog instead I want a man who is like a German Shepherd dog. Loyal and protective, he goes fetch when I need it. House broken as far as helping me with housework. I give him plenty of affection and I feed my dog well. My dog gets a healthy diet. He has to be trainable. I don’t like those dogs that pull me along the sidewalk. One that walks beside you. Does not sniff and scratch or other bad type of behaviors. Presents a challenge in training him. German Shepherds need an outlet to release all their energy and playfulness.
I have three gears, fast, faster and fastest. I take 30 minutes to get dressed. I work best with other Type A personalities since I have a need to take the land, the house, the job, the car and the man. Next, its fix the car, the house, the job and the man. Seabiscuit only slowed down to look War Admiral in the eyes (his contender to pace himself) and a broken ankle. I’m at my best contending with other horses (Jeremiah 12:5). My husband was Secretariat and way out in front.
When I go to a single's social, meetup, dinner, or in public, I go as the ambassador for Christ (2 Cor. 5:20). I don't always do a good job of being a representative of heaven. I'm looking to make a difference in a person's life. Not be a shallow person. One social I met Brandy and that lead to traveling to New Zealand together. I'm looking for God's connections and to make disciples of Christ (Matt 28:19)
I like a man that will lead the charge. Like in the movie Patriot where a person carries the American flag in front of the battle or sounds the trumpet. Joshua said, "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15). Some women don't like aggressive men. At the funeral with all the women in my home it was like a bunch of chickens running around with their heads cut off. My 79-year old father-in-law finally took charge (1 Tim 3:4).
We accept forgiveness. I'm not earning wings like an Air force pilot. (Forgetting what is behind and press forward to what is ahead. Philip 3:13) It’s not the Rolling Stones, “Get Off My Cloud” of sitting on a cloud with halos playing a harp. It’s more like Sheryl Crow’s song, “If God Was One of Us,” i.e. just a slob like one of us.” (Philip 2:8) We may not be a slob on the outside, but we are all slobs on the inside (Roman 3:23, Luke 6:45, Jeremiah 17:9, Matt 15:19).
A word of warning that a counterfeit will come along when you are praying for a relationship and it looks like the real McCoy. I make all major decisions with 2-3 confirmations and God chooses the signs not me. Gideon had 4 signs (Psalm 86:17, 2 Cor. 13:1, Judges 6:11-24). I also don't "make" a relationship happen; I've turned down at least four serious relationships now. I want God to build my house again (Psalm 127:11).
I like a guy with a short list. My long list gets thrown in the trash if a guy kisses well. My husband was not a good kisser and he had bad breath from asthma inhalers. Chemistry developed over time, although I found him physically attractive. The more I got to know him the more I liked him and the relationship got better. I liked him more and he looked more handsome each time I saw him.
E-Harmony on kissing: “Oxytocin is thought to reduce stress and elevate feelings of happiness. Increases emotional connection. Endorphins, which are peptides, relieve pain in the body, but lead to feelings of euphoria as well. Kissing results in increased saliva production so less cavities. Unleashes pheromones which may play a part in human attraction. Kissing for women evaluates a potential mate and monitors the ongoing status of a relationship" (Song of Solomon 4:11)
My ex had two DeLorean cars, but was too cheap to buy a replacement light bulb for our home. I learned my lesson not to play second fiddle to a man’s cars or fishing boat. I’ve asked our android scientist at work how he is coming along with my android man. I want Data on Star Trek. Data said he was programmed in multiple forms of pleasure that should suit me fine. Oh, maybe that was Solomon’s problem and some men like Tiger Woods. (Proverbs 2:16, 7:5, 5:3, 7:21).
I went to airshows with my dad since he was a pilot and then camping and fishing every vacation. I grew up playing chess and board games with my brother. Competed with my neighbor boy in skateboarding, basketball and biking. My husband was the outdoors type but would go to plays, concerts, dancing and movies. Variety is the spice of life as far as mixing venues. My mom loved NFL football and my brother played it so I grew up with football. Going to the Colts game today.
I was always the "other" women when it came to raising a person's kids. My husband's ex remarried and then was divorced one year later right before we married. I prayed and fasted for him and said to try to reconcile one more time. She told him there was no way in "hell" she would go back with him and I knew we could be together. Raising 2 step-children full time was the hardest thing I've done in my life. I was "the" woman at the funeral. The woman who stuck by his side.
When I was dating my husband it was a blessed assurance that he was the right person for me. Trials in marriage with our children brought us closer together not farther apart. Dating was driving my car through downtown with all green lights. It's similar to the movie, "Message in a Bottle" where the man had a deep love for his wife. I trust in God that I'll meet a person who will understand and appreciate that kind of deep love.
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