"Delight” yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Marriage is making your partner happy. Many people miss this. They don’t really wish for other people’s success and happiness. If you have two people with this attitude in life than it works. Paul said that marriage is "pleasing" your spouse.
But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife, but a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. 1 Cor. 7:33-34
Usually if people stay on the "same" page in life in seeking to please their mate, they can have a successful marriage. What is a man’s page in life? For my husband it was listening to the song by John Mayer, “Your Body is Wonderland” or James Taylor, “I am a streamroller baby and I’m going to roll all over you.”
That is what my husband’s idea of marriage was. My body was a playground. But what is woman’s ideal marriage? It usually getting up in the middle of the night and changing diapers and giving a baby a bottle once in a while. It’s different for some women, but many times its acts of service, quality time, praise and affection.
The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 1 Cor. 7:4
Early on in my marriage to my husband, it could have easily ended in divorce. It’s because I started feeling used in marriage. I speak to other Christian wives whose marriage ended in divorce and it is the same problem. My husband was not affection like his dad. In fact, his sister told me that she did not remember ever being cuddled and hugged as children. Their grandparents are the ones that showed them affection and spent time with them. When they went on vacation, his dad read the newspaper. He did not “do” things with them. My father would plop in front of the television every night when he came home from work in his boxers, but he did devote some time with me on weekends and vacations.
I remember my dad fishing with me. He liked me to go up and fly in the plane with him, we went to Dairy Queen on Sundays as a family, and we went to church every Sunday. I liked church, because I could see my school friends. I was an altar girl who lit the candles at one time.
My daughter had a prophesy when she was 13 years old that “God wanted to play with her and that He wanted to have fun with her.” It’s hard sometimes to imagine the creator of the universe having fun with us, but that is the type of relationship we can have with our heavenly Father.
One morning I was walking into E91 Church single parent’s group and I was thinking about how all three toilets in my house were stopped up and I said, “God do I have crap in my life? “ Immediately, I heard in my spirit, “Yes you do.” Then I started laughing in this laughter that came deep within me. I knew that God was laughing with me that I was getting the crap out of my life.
Don’t we rejoice when our babies crawl, take their first steps, say their first words? We may fret some when they start driving at 16 years old although I appreciated it that they could run to the store and get milk for me or pick up their siblings from sports practice after school.
God is happy with me, God is sad with me. When Jesus stood at the tomb it says that “Jesus wept.” God rejoices with me.
The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
My parents were not very affectionate, so I love affection. I went through problems in my first marriage where my husband never wanted me to touch him and slept in a separate bed for nine years. In my second marriage, when my husband started playing withdrawal affection games while I was pregnant, I knew we were headed for divorce. Same way in my marriage to my husband, I was not getting any affection. I would go to concerts and watch men with their arms around a woman and thought, “Wow I have really married a dud.” It’s like those dud fire crackers that fizzle and you think you are going to have a big bang only to be disappointed. What a huge disappointed. The man before I dated my husband was very affectionate.
I just kept praying about it, and meeting my husband’s sexual needs, and then I was the one that would grab his hand, cuddle next to him in bed and eventually “out of the blue” he changed and became more affectionate. I could tell my husband was starved for love and attention when I married him and I know his wife denied his needs. I find many men cannot seem to separate sex from affection in marriage. It seems to be ingrained in their nature.
I sort of wonder if God made it that way, because my heavenly Father likes intimacy. It says that “man” was made in God’s image male and female he created them and blessed them and called “their” name Adam.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27
He created them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them "man." Genesis 5:2
I know God likes his “alone” time with me. Jesus would go to the mountain to get alone with God. Before Jesus went to the cross he went to the garden to pray. It seems if I deny God that intimacy of worship and fellowship, things don’t go well in my life. It says that “God is a jealous God.” I look at my marriage to God, it’s making God happy. What makes my heavenly Father happy? It’s praying for others. It’s reaching out to others. It’s becoming a servant. It’s putting down my selfish ways, taking up the cross and following Jesus.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. Matthew 16:24
It’s also sitting at Jesus feet at times.
There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:42
Mary poured out her love and affection on Jesus feet.
and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Luke 7:38
God is a Healer: Kurt Carr
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